[Sam0an]

So I was doing a lot of thinking and going down the list of the things my ex said she's been diagnosed with.

Bipolar 1(which I'm guessing causes the occasional episodes of depression)
Borderline personality disorder
Recovering from an ED
Anxiety Disorder

When I really realize her behaviour these past 8 weeks, it really sticks in my head that a lot of her actions may have been driven from all these factors. I have considered this before but I was only looking at the depression and anxiety part of things.

If you read my previous post, I was happily with my partner for almost two years and sporadically out the blue she changed and left me. For a while I thought maybe the Zoloft, which she started taking in March of this year may have started the disconnect romantically between us and depletion of her sex drivd. Now looking into everying at once, before her leaving she wasn't in the best state of mind because she was anxious about going into surgery for the first time. Right before her surgery she broke up with me and her stability really got worse. After the surgery she was drugged up on antidepressant and opiates for pain and really wishy washy. One minute nice the next agressive. Weeks later she says she's not in love with me. No clear reason why.

My biggest underlying question is could she be behaving the way she is because of all these factors or is it just as possible she's acting like this with out the influence of her disorders and drugs (if so, that would make me see her as someone who is problematic and doesn't really care about me)

Idk, I've been doing well with keeping my space and trying to be healthy. I did text her impulsively one day this week and told l her I felt like she just threw me away. She responded in the middle of the night saying she is sorry and never meant to hurt me and she said I have every right to be angry and that she didn't want anything to be this way. She said what we had was great and pure and then she welcomed me to call her this weekend.

I responded and said maybe and then she doesn't respond back. The next morning I tect her and told her that I'm going to be okay and I just had a break down the other night. And I told her I know it isn't healthy for you to feel guilty (which it isn't, reason why I sent the text) so I told her to forgive herself as I will also try to forgive her for what she put me through. I ended it telling her to have a good day and weekend. She responds hours later in the middle of the night saying thank you and hopes I have a good weekend too.

I'm trying not to think too much on her super long delay to respond back. We aren't together so she owes me nothing technically. But then I think maybe that's a sign that she doesn't find me important. But then I think it could also be a sign of anxiety and not knowing what to say. Idk.

At the end of the day, I still love her. I'm still in love with her and I just wish I knew whether her actions these past two months have been triggered by her disorders and if her falling out of love with me was influenced by the new drugs and her illnesses or was it just a part of life and it is what it is. (Its harder to wrap my head around that given we were very happy and she's been planning our wedding since last year)

Idk, it's all confusing. She'd rather spend time with her friends then to worry about me. It's like she left me and now uses her new friend as her go to person. Even said she was God sent. Which is fine but I do take it personally cause I'm like how can you switch up your emotions like that and act so happy like everhthing is fine, but when I go out with friends I can't even enjoy myself because I think of her. Idk. Insight from those that may understand would be helpful.

[CopperStar]

People with Bipolar Disorder are not supposed to be given an SSRI without other medications to level it out, because SSRIs cause people with Bipolar Disorder to become manic or mixed state / dysphoric mania. Her diagnoses and medication do not make sense. So either one or both is/are fib(s), or some doctor has seriously screwed up.

[Sam0an]

Originally Posted by CopperStar

People with Bipolar Disorder are not supposed to be given an SSRI without other medications to level it out, because SSRIs cause people with Bipolar Disorder to become manic or mixed state / dysphoric mania. Her diagnoses and medication do not make sense. So either one or both is/are fib(s), or some doctor has seriously screwed up.

Wow really? Her phschologist orginally had her on buspar for her anxiety. It wasn't working much so this new psychiatrist after like a 30min session prescribed her Zoloft and she's been taking it ever since. Now it's weird to me because when she met with her psychologist (not -trist she has one of each) the lady said she shows symptoms of BP1 and BPD but she decided that she wasn't gonna write it in her health chart because they were minor and she already had so many other things going on, and I guess with therapy and and anxiety meds the psych thought those minor symptoms would also be covered under her recovery regime of therapy and meds. Now since she did bot diagnose her with BP1 the psychiatrist just threw the Zoloft at her. Idk it's a mess and with you mentioning that it made me think of how she was at that session and her psych said she showed symptoms in BP1 and BPD but didn't diagnose her pyshically on her health sheet, which clearly shows a red flag here because if her symptoms are more serve now her Zoloft could be causing extra issues. Ugh.

[Mygrandjourney]

Drs treat symptoms as reported by their patients. The patient's responsibility is to disclose all symptoms honestly and accurately. The Dr's responsibility is to ask the right questions in the typical one hr appointment and hopefully to have some historical documentation. If someone w/ bipolar comes in during a depressed phase, then the treatment may only target the depression, hence, the SSRI; many w/ bipolar also suffer with anxiety, so the buspar may target that. Having your partner download a 30-day mood tracking chart (just search on google) and take it to her next appt w/ the P-doc and then go from there. In some cases having 60 or 90 days provides the MD with much better information. I've worked with many bipolar clients who had success w/ SSRIs, so there is not universal treatment that works with everyone and not all bipolar d/os treated w/ SSRIs end up having manic episodes as a result.

[Travelinglady]

Hi, Sam. I have bipolar and had borderline. The borderline has diminished to the point that I no longer have that diagnosis after YEARS of therapy.

I feel for you. Yes, she acted the way she did in the relationship because of her mental problems. I am glad she is now diagnosed and hope she will pursue major treatment. That said, she will NOT be able to change her behaviors anytime soon, even though she and you now know the causes. So, you would be returning to the same tough, difficult relationship with its ups and down, pushing you away and pulling you back, anger, etc. She might not even stay with a therapist, since that's common with borderlines. I don't think the meds caused the break-up. Such suddens break-ups are common with borderlines.

I suggest you let her go. I know you don't want to hear that, but I care enough to be honest. I know you love her, but sometimes love means letting someone else take care of the person. Does that make sense? She needs major treatment and still might never overcome her difficulties.