Advice Needed Re: My Mom

My Mom is doing the best she can, but she's still slow moving and weak. She has an old fashioned cast iron tub. It does't have claw feet on it, but it's high.

I managed to get a shower chair for Mom. I thought it would solve the problem of her showers, but she can barely lift her legs high enough to get them over the side of the tub.

I finally got her on the seat and turned her lose with the shower wand. I had to take towels and wipe down the bathroom and try to soak as much water up from the carpet as possible.

I just tried to talk to my brother about the situation. I told him Mom needs a shower stall with a built in seat instead of the tub. He became aggravated with me for bringing it to him.

I am exhausted from helping Mom. I just can't lift and pull on her or anything else and I did.

Do you have any advice? Any and all would be most appreciated.

Thank you each and every one for reading this.

Jan

HP:
What kind of shower chair did you get? Have you seen these:
transfer bath tub bench

"2 legs sit on the inside of the tub and 2 on the outside of the tub making transferring into the tub as simple as "sitting and scooting."

Removable back is easily transferred to either side depending on the positioning of your shower head and your bathroom's layout."

let me know if that might help and I'll see what I can do...

Your brother and you should be able to work as a team. Does he live in town and is he really aware of what is going on there and how your mom is doing?

Just thought I would mention... you could have someone come in to consult on how to make the place mom friendly....often this would be an occupational therapist or a disability specialist. It may be worthy of consideration.

As my parents have aged we have had home health folks in as needed but luckily they are doing well right now. The number of grab bars that have been put up by brothers about the house have been great.

PS... my parent's shower has a seat...always has had one... and it really does make life easier...for my dad. Really.

My BIL has ALS and they made a bathroom to accommodate his wheelchair for showering and bathroom and sink, etc... (and did have an OT come in). You will possibly need to look down the road to what your mom will need in the future for mobility needs and potential wheelchair or walker for the future.... so look long term. Just a thought and hope not way more than you needed or wanted.

Take care January...and take care of you too.

LMo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's so good to see you!!!!!

That's exactly the seat I got for Mom. Thank you for your kind offer. She just can't get her legs high enough to get them over the side of the tub.

Hugs,

Jan

hmmmmmmm. that chair looks great. i see what you're saying. is there one other person that could assist? she doesn't have to be bathed every day. it used to make my daddy so mad because home health wanted to bathe him every day. he told me to tell them that he was too old to get that dirty!!!

i'll also pay more attention in patient's homes so if i see some innovation that would help, i can get info on it.

great to see you, LMo..............xoxoxo pat

(((((((( Secret Garden )))))))))))

Thank you for your wonderful reply.

You are right, my brother and I should be able to work as a team. He was married just last weekend and I'm sure my news was something he didn't want to hear.

Hugs,

Jan

(((((((((( Pat )))))))))))))

Thank you so much. If you can figure out anything, do please let me know.

Hugs,

Jan

Jan does she own her home? if so like someone else said have someone build a roll in shower kind of thing. My son did that for his fil after he had a brain hemmorage and it sure made it easier for his wife to get him in and out of the shower. you might can even get medicare to help pay for it.

We had "refitters" change our tub into a shower. It was a bit too expensive but worth it, I was afraid of slipping and it's scary to think of hitting the tub rim (ours had sliding doors for the shower part and "rails" which would have really hurt!)

I'd get a really long shower wand/hose and a "smaller" container she could at least get most of her legs, etc. in while sitting on the toilet seat or somewhere comfy and take a good sponge bath? until your brother or other friend/relative has time to help you with a permanent solution?

What about (I'm actually serious about this)...

Go to Home Depot and getting a pulley system. Ask your brother to take the stick out of his butt and install it on the ceiling into a stud. At one of the loose ends of the pulley, tie a towel or something that your mom can slip her legs into, and then whoever is assisting her can pulley her legs up enough to slide over the edge of the tub.

Actually, it might not have to be an actual pulley. A large eye hook might suffice as well. It's not like her legs weigh 200 pounds or anything -- you just need something to give you leverage.

if she owns her home get in touch with Americans Disability Act, see if they can remodel the bathroom (put in shower) for her

I did a google search on disabled bathrooms and found this nice site. If nothing else it can give you a good idea of what you may be interested in.

http://www.premier-bathrooms.com/ply...in_bathtub.php

Hugssssss
J

(((((((((( Be and Perna ))))))))

Thank you so much for the replies and ideas.

You know, my brother isn't trying to be mean. He and me neice makes sure Mom has extra TP, paper towels, etc. They take her out to eat every Sunday. If she needs extra groceries, all she has to do is ask.

My neice does Mom's meds. It's very complicated and Steph has it down pat.

But since Mom came home from the nursing home, I'm the one who has helped her bathe or wash clothes or any of those kinds of things.

Mom is scaring me. She looked so bad yesterday She is trying so hard to hold on until the member of our family in Iraq comes home so she can see him again. She told him the other day that she might not be here then.

She was so mean to me. She has betrayed me in so many ways and took away the one person in my life that I loved the very most. She did it on purpose and didn't give a darn that she was part and parcel to my breakdown.

But now, she's a fluffy little old lady. She is not trying to hurt anyone, and in her own way, she is trying to make up for what she did to me.

I want her to be comfortable. I want her to be safe. I did help take care of my former MIL, but she was able to move more than Mom. I'm so afraid Mom is going to fall and if she breaks something, that will be it.

Does anyone know if a cast iron bathtub can be cut with a torch or something like that? When they built the house, they must have put the bathtub in and then built the walls.

I also thought about putting the chair long wise in the tub and helping Mom sit on it. I could hold the wand and hopefully I wouldn't drown the bathroom. I'm embarrassed, Mom's embarrassed and I just don't know what to do.

When I helped her I found bruises all over her spine, hip and arm. She had fallen and was afraid to tell one of us. Nothing was broken, thank God.

Also, does anyone know if Medicare will help with hearing aids? Mom can't hear well at all and it's causing horrible communication problems.

Thank you so much for reading this. I'm trying so hard not to cry. I just don't know how to fix this.

Jan

january, i ended up being my mother's caregiver also. and it got to be okay. i realized that she needed me and she had given life to me and i could just move past the hurt and pain and try to grow with helping her.

i think LMo's idea was good and also Angie's....frequently Habitat for Humanity takes on those kinds of activities.......i know you can find a way to do this.....

and listen, a bed bath is not the worst thing in the world for her til this gets fixed. a "sponge" bath and she can wash herself down below. a little dirt is good for the soul......

take care, love pat

(((((((((( Pat )))))))))))))

Thank you so much. I, too, believe a little dirt is good for the soul.

Hugs,

Jan