[Mai7]

Hello,My husband is an American but i'm Japanese. I really need help. I want to know what i can do for me to fix our marriage and what i can do for him and what is his disorder??
My husband seems like he has personality problem .We live in Japan and i called a clinic which is really popular in my city. but they can't help him because my husband can't speak japanese.Doctor need to talk with Only him "without Translator" completely Doctor and him often for treatment
and he seems like doesn't want to go to big hospital that might helps even if he cant speak japanese but he is afraid what if he has to stay at hospital,will be night mare. also He can't get full time job,seems like having trouble to get job.
But if he can't get any help, I will be really really stressfull life.
I already too stressful..
It's only 8 months since we get married and i felt like he is just short temper before we get married but now he is really crazy and has a lot of issues. I don't think it's culture thing at all.
and i'm really in rough time about my husband and my father found out he has cancer stage 4, after we get married. and my husband yelled at my mother because my mom tried to explain about japanese tax system but he didn't like it,didn't agree it but he has to accept it because he lives here but he didn't listen my mom and she pissed then he yelled at her.. and since then my mom hates him. It's no way to yell or strongly disagreement to old people in japan.
so now our situation is worse.
I think he has problem but it's hard to find that clinic helps people who cant speak japanese. other type of clinics helps people cant speak japanese but mental clinics need to talk with patient correctly so language seems important. so i want to know whats his illness and what can i do except going to the clinics
This is more symptom about my husband personality.

1.Strong belief
He is a habit to stare at people but he does care other people eyes.
If strangers look at him, he starts to think "The guy is saying something bad stuff about me" "The guy is ****ing racist" and he yells at the person or saying something rude,putting his middle finger up..
He is irritated in the busy places,he thinks "oh they are ****ing looking at me and laughing at me" even though no one talks about him.
He is really paranoid and never trust what i say about it.
He has threwn foods away at the restaurant,pour water to the plate purposely,hit the cup at wall there.

2.Self injury
He lose control when he gets mad and he punchs his stomach,his head.He has ever tried to jump from the window.Scratching his arms by his nails.
The worst thing was he tried to stab his self by fork and pizza cutter at the restaurant. I did stop him.

3.Negative thoughts
Thinking too much negatively if he cares about something.
for example,he started to think his backpack is like a student,then if people who is around him uses words "School" "Play" ,he believes they are talking about his backpack.
I explained that is not true but he just gets angry "You don't ****ing understand me!"
Other story,When the lady who he will works with late the time to meet,or when his boss didn't send him message only few hourse after the boss told him to send message "today" then he said "She never comes here" "He doesn't want to talk with me,****ing liar!"
If i explained "Just wait for her/him" he said "You are defending them!"
He has many strong beliefs and even if i explain to him,he acts like i'm not wrong,you are wrong.When police passed next of him,he thinks police was chasing him definitely and he doesn't listen my opinion.and he said "oh you are defending police". That is why i said "Then you were chased by them i think" then he said "Why you say that!?it makes me depressed.Why can you say that,though you are my wife!You are not my wife"
I do also piss off because he acts not normal and say something not normal but the situation gets worse if i don't try to be calm.

4.sometimes he laughs suspiciously after got mad
He told me he is scared of his self because he laughs though he doesn't meaning he wants to laugh.

5.Bad temper / Selfishness
He gets so mad for topics he hates.the worst situation,if he disagrees to my opinions,he started to say oh you are defending them,you love them and in the end,he threw the chair at the wall,made the hole in the wall.
also,he is selfish.He makes noises when i am sleepy or makes me wait when he wants to do something,but he gets mad if i make "a little bit" noise when he is sleepy.He gets mad if i took a long time to find out movies i want to watch with him and says waste of time!
He goes to places where he wants to go but he gets mad if he doesn't want to go where i want to go because he doesn't want to go.
He says bad stuff about people,though he doesn't like someone talks about him.

6.Cleanliness/Phobia
He perfectly covers his mouth up with Mask when he washes bathroom.
He is worried only he mistook Shampoo and Body soap
He is obssessed with washing hands with soap when he only touched coins or trash.
but he doesn't take shower or brush his teeth everyday.If i tell him to brush his teeth more well because he really washes quickly,then he says it's waste of time,it because also from my parents...he gets irritated.
but he does drink the tea that stays on the table for long time and he is ok to mess up room and alot of dust.Sometimes he doesn't wash hand after he went to bathroom.
I told Gargle is good for protect catch a cold but he seems like he is afraid of Gargle for some reason and he haven't tried Gargling,though he said he will it.
He is scared of narrow dark places.He thinks it because he has had experience that he was stucked in the elevator.

7.He is panic when he feels not good even if it's not serious because think of death and gets mad at people.
and he wents to emergency but nothing serious,doctor said just maybe from his nerve.
that time,he started to mad at people and think of killing people,thinking of he hates living.
He doesn't care about me but he says "oh you don't help me,though you are my wife" when he feels not good.I do help him,giving advice.for example,telling him to not use laptop for really long when his neck is hurt.but he doesn't listen to me.but when he feels not good and told me to go to the hospital together, i told him "just go to big hospital" beccause he has same problem since long time and already checked in few hospitals but he is still worried.
then he yelled at me "You didn't answer my simple question! Yes or No! You don't wanna help me!"
He doesn't answer my questions yes or no too,also he never tell me to answer him by yes or no but he sometimes gets mad if i don't answer him by yes or no.

8.Money/Job problems.
He just keeps saying "It's ok,no problem,Do not worry about money", if i told him "You need to save money for our life,future. also you will feel want to go to hospital again often soon"
He only works as part time worker in Japan and low income,not much saving in the bank but he keeps saying Don't worry about money but he uses money alot for traveling also he goes to hospital if he feels something soon even if it's not serious.I am really feeling worried about our life because of that.He used about 700dollars for traveling,though he told me he is going to use only 200.
He seems like he can't settle in the job since he was young,his situation is quitting job and looking for job again.
He cancels his work when he couldn't sleep much,though,he tells me"If you don't go work you'll get fired!Where are you going to work if you were fired?' when i tried to tell him "I want to take day off my work too because of feeling not good today"
but he really cancels his work if the day is not good for him and he has strong thought about it's ok to quit his job if someone is rude to him.

9.Self-Centered
He compares his symptoms and my symptoms. for example if i have headache,he tells me "OH I also has headache!" "I do have the same feeling sometimes" "Mine is worse than YOU"
I feel like He is saying "Your symptom is nothing"and doesn't care if he says mine is worse.and when i tried to tell him mine is worse,he got mad How do you know that?
He doesn't help him when i want him to help me and saying He is not feeling good. but He gets mad if i don't help him when he feels not good and when i am feeling tired or feels not good neither.
He is a part time english teacher. and oneday his school was closed so he got a day off. then he asked me to prepare the lunch but i didn't get any foods beofore the day. but i usually go to supermarket and prepare foods always. The day was my day off too. but he has alot of free time more than me but he doesnt go to supermarket so i wanted him to help me the day because i was tired. and i asked him to get some foods and cook for both of us. then he told me "well both of us is day off today so we can go to restaurant" but i told him " You already went to eat out few times at restaurant and you got day off today, no income and you don't have stable job yet so you should save"
i just wanted me to help to buy foods and prepare sometimes then he was irritated and told me "NO I DONT WANT TO EAT FOODS FROM THE STORE IM TIRED OF IT. I WILL GO TO RESTAURANT BECAUSE SO HUNGRY AND YOU CAN JUST BUY FOODS AT STORE AND COOK IT"
When he doesnt like something then doesnt care other people,just he doesnt do or go or help if he doesnt like it. but when i tried to say "Oh i dont want to eat here" He was angry
in the end he went to the store to get the foods but he started to say i dont wanna go the store,I'll go to other store because the one is bigger (but actually not. and i felt suspicious feeling because he used to go to the store most everyday,so i thought maybe he has some trouble with the shop workers) and i told "You dont like the people work there right?" then he said yes i hate them. i think he cares something about people usually doesnt care and hate them now.

10.Forget/Remembering issue
People pisses off because he can't remember stuff that people told him many times or forgets.then he gets mad at them and think "why they get mad so easily,i can't remember" but he gets mad at people if people can't remember or mistake only one time.

11.Cheating/hiding
He has cheated on me few times.I found out soon,seems like he is notgood at hiding.
When he was helping of my father to take the battery out from the car because my father will not drive his car for long time anymore,he lost parts.but he didn't tell anybody about he lost it the time.
then he had to tell me about it because my father wants him to take the battery back in the car.
I told him "Why didn't tell me that when you lost it? My dad will get mad if you didn't tell him soon" then he excused "If i told it that time then he will be worried right? I didn't make him worry" "It's not big deal.It'll be fine if i get new parts"
He often says excuse and no responsibility ,he is like it's not big deal,everything will be ok.
It's not big deal and it's just parts for him but it is big deal for my father and there is many things that can't solve easily in this world i think.
He may be didn't tell me about he lost it if my father didn't ask him to put the battery back.
My father was angry and told him "Do tell me soon if you lost something.Do not tell me later,Say soon"

[DueReflection]

I private messaged you... I too am in Japan and can perhaps lend some perspective...

Scott

I'm so sorry that this is happening to you all. You are right about getting him in a hospital. A full body physical needs to be done first before considering a mental work up.

For a fast fall apart in 8 months, it makes one want to MRI his brain looking for tumors and blood work for chemical imbalances.

His symptoms sounds like it can be just about anything as far as MI is concerned. The best thing that can be done is to get him looked at.