Narcissistic Mother, Father and Brother

Hi everyone,

I know very little about Narcissism so I apologize if come off rude or ignorant!

I have recently learned that my family dynamic is purely narcissistic and I have been the brunt of it for years and years. I suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder and Complex PTSD as a result.

I would like to educate myself so I am not hurt anymore. Ultimately I love these people and I have given them so many opportunities to show me love, only to be hurt whenever I become vulnerable. Time is up. I will no longer put up with it and I am putting my foot down.

I am the weakest I have ever been as I have been utilizing therapy as a safe haven for years in order to deal with this abuse at the hands of my family. This last year I saw a group of mental health professionals abuse me further. It was extremely traumatizing. Because of this, I went to my family looking for support and I was hurt even more. I have been given advice to NEVER speak to my family EVER again and I am starting to feel the need to do just that. I believe this is a sign of becoming healthy and gaining self-respect. All I ever get is invalidation and manipulation and judgments and abuse and betrayals... I am starting to realize how toxic they really are. It is absolutely disgusting. It is as if they are unable to feel empathy for me. And what did I ever do to them!?

Anyways. In order to make this important step in my recovery (because I will not allow them to kill me), I am going to separate myself from them without explanation. I am going to educate myself so that I can call them out. I am going to educate my extended family and friends so that they are aware of what is going on.

Where and how do I start?

Thanks,
HD7970ghz

Hello HD: The Skeezyks is not particularly knowledgeable with regard to narcissism. So he probably cannot realistically be of much help here. But, many years ago, I left my family (parents primarily... I was an only child) behind. It's a long story & I won't go into details. But what I wanted to suggest here is that you simply look forward... no "calling them out"... no "educating family & friends"... just focus on healing yourself & get on with your life. It's just my personal opinion... nothing more... but to my way of thinking... to do otherwise is simply to get yourself hooked all over again. I wish you well...

Agree with the Skeezyks ... I walked away from my toxic family of origin years ago and focused all my energy on my own healing and recovery ... We can't change them, but we can get healthier and not be like them.

I ended up legally changing my name, quitting an 18 year career and relocating so they'd quit trying to contact me and meddle in my affairs.

This was not an easy thing to do, but looking back after 23 years of healing and recovery, it was absolutely the best thing I ever did for my physical and emotional well-being.

Wishing you the best on what's going to be a tough but worthwhile journey of discovery!

Sincerely,
Pfrog!

I agree with Skeezyks - it's better for you to walk away "clean". You will not get anything but more damage and poison from trying to engage them, IMO. You may possibly be setting yourself up for attempted "retaliation" from your toxic family members if you start trying to tell other family members about them.

I think you should go no contact 100%. Don't call them out. That will not end well.