[ClobberGirl]

My daughter has DiGeorge syndrome and was diagnosed with severe ADHD years ago. She is 10 now and has always been a handful.

My husband of 11 years abandoned me when I was pregnant with our 2nd. We have been divorced since 2014 and our younger son turns 3 next month. I was a stay-at-home mom prior to my husband's abandonment and have only been back in the workforce for about 3 years, so I don't make a lot of money. (The ex-husband / my children's father has ADD, if that matters.)

Our son was behind on speech, but had otherwise hit most of his milestones, so I held out hope that nothing serious was wrong. The only thing our doctor recommended was speech therapy.

Starting this year, I have begun to get pushback from childcare providers. One lady was supposed to watch him for a few days and began texting me within a few hours of the first day begging me to come and get him because "he won't listen to me" and she couldn't handle him. I thought she was just being an irresponsible idiot; I mean, since when do 2-year-olds listen to adults??

Earlier this month, I started him at a new religious daycare center. They took him for two days and then promptly kicked him out of the program, telling me I needed to have him evaluated for special needs. I was shocked. He had done another daycare program for 8 months prior, had done all of his well-baby check-ups, and no one had ever suggested to me that he was special needs.

He is at a new daycare center now and the complaints have begun. I've watched him with the other kids and he is just so different. Very hyper, always moving, never sitting down and quietly doing things with the group. He won't play with the other kids; if they try to play with a toy that he's playing with, he shrieks and hits them or pushes them. He sometimes tries to get toys from other kids that they had first and engages in the same behavior. I'm pretty sure that Title III of the ADA is the only thing that's keeping them from tossing him out, and that doesn't mean they won't be able to toss him out eventually, especially if he keeps hitting.

He hasn't been formally diagnosed with ADHD, but I've read the list of symptoms in toddlers and it's him to a T. I have an appointment with his doctor on Sunday to begin the process of formally having him diagnosed. The school is coming on Tuesday morning to evaluate him for special needs services.

I am just feeling completely overwhelmed. I don't know how I am ever going to manage two kids with disabilities as a single mom. I'm an intelligent and capable person---I just finished a master's degree and a human resources certificate this year---but I feel like my home life is nothing but the kids climbing all over me, screaming, fighting, and constantly bothering me so that I get no time for myself away from work. "Friends" never seem interested in play dates or having my kids over and I think I'm beginning to see why. Any time I try to go to any kind of a social function with my kids, I just wind up chasing them around the entire time and don't get to enjoy myself. I feel so ostracized.

Of course, now I'm also worried about my son and his prognosis in life and whether he'll ever be able to function as an adult.

Thank you for reading.

[Skeezyks]

Hello ClobberGirl: I'm sorry you are having such a difficult time. Hopefully being here on PsychCentral can be of some comfort & support.

I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral… from the Skeezyks! I hope you find the time you spend here to be of benefit.

PsychCentral is a great place to get information as well as support for mental health issues. There are many knowledgeable & caring members here. The more you post, & reply to other members’ posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are social groups you can join & chat rooms where you’ll be able to connect with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) Lots of great stuff! So please keep posting!

[Travelinglady]

Hi, ClobberGirl, and welcome to Psych Central! I can certainly understand why you would feel overwhelmed. I suggest you get your son evaluated. Maybe some meds will help. I have two sons, one with ADHD and one with ADD. They are grown now and functioning well on their own. I think there will be a job for your son. I actually read that ADHD adults like working at jobs such as forest rangers.

Also, there are books about dealing with kids with ADD/ADHD. I'm sure one or more will help.

Keep us informed and try to take things one day at a time. Okay?

[TM2K]

I'm new here, but want to just say that you can do it! You will do it! I've been a single mom for 11+ years. Different situation...kids are 14 with depression and anxiety. Sometimes I feel like I have the whole world on my shoulders. But just keep keepin on because they are worth it. Hang in there!