[illyza]

I’ve been with my boyfriend for a year and have lived with him for 6 months, and some of his behaviours make me wonder if he’s bipolar (we're 30 and 29). The thing is I’ve never seen him in a true depressive state for any length of time since we’ve been together, and have mainly seen what I would call manic episodes (obviously not knowing how to diagnose them myself). About 6 months before we started dating he was diagnosed as having major depressive disorder I believe, and he’s been on Zoloft/Sertraline since then (2 years). But in the past year he’s been extremely happy and productive, and the ‘mania’ (if that’s what it is) actually kind of makes him a perfect boyfriend.

The things that make me wonder if his ‘episodes’ are manic are
- Speaks rapidly and jumps topics, seems almost unable to stop himself from doing it even when I’m not really engaging in the conversation
- Gets very excited about new elaborate projects
- Cleans the house furiously and cooks elaborate things
- Has seemingly boundless energy that is almost too much for him to deal with
- He actually refers to the phases as being ‘manic’ but i don’t think he means it literally
- He often crashes in a weird agitated way after a couple of days
- Irritable and impatient at work (only has been with me twice and I was panicking irrationally)

His moods feel... fierce. He loves me fiercely, feels deeply wounded by potential criticism, needs constant reassurance about our relationship, is extremely passionate about work etc. etc.

But.. none of this is actually DETRIMENTAL to his life overall. He doesn’t break with reality, and he doesn’t make any foolish investments or take on unrealistic projects – he’s the most industrious person I’ve ever encountered and he treats me like gold. The only issue might be his irritability at work and his overzealousness coming across as arrogant or kiss-assy.

The reason why I worry a little is that I know that antidepressants can actually be bad for people with bipolar disorder. He also wants to get engaged in the near future, and I feel like that’s something we need to know how to deal with as a team before we go there. I’m not going to leave him if he has it (I have ADHD and struggle with anxiety and depression and am on wellbutrin and dexedrine. We are both a little messed up, but quite high functioning. )

But..can you go a full year with only some manic episodes and none depressive, and then sometimes just somewhat even?

Any help or input would be greatly appreciated.

[Skeezyks]

Hello illyza: I am not able to comment with regard to your concern. However, although you've apparently been a member for a long time, it appears this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome (as an active member) to PsychCentral… from the Skeezyks! I hope you find the time you spend here to be of benefit.

PsychCentral is a great place to get information as well as support for mental health issues. There are many knowledgeable & caring members here. The more you post, & reply to other members’ posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are social groups you can join & chat rooms where you’ll be able to connect with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) Lots of great stuff! So please keep posting!

[Moogieotter]

Hey Hey illyza,

Like Skeezyks says, Welcome to PC. It sounds like you got a pretty good thing going with your fellow. Maybe he is just high energy and industrious with some self-esteem stuff to work on.

Do you have frank and open discussions about your worry with him being bipolar? I would just keep it practical and reality based. If other symptoms like you mentioned start showing up, like delusions of grandeur or wild spending, you might see if he would be open to treatment.

At this point I would just go with it and start opening up the communication. It sounds like he might get sensitive and defensive if you start hinting at thinking he's bipolar.

How much Zoloft is he taking? I am bipolar and have been on it and other SSRI anti-depressants, and while there is risk, it's not certain to be problematic.

Anyway, welcome again. PM me if you want. Thanks,

moogs

[~Christina]

Sounds like you have a pretty good handle on his ways of managing life.

I would not be quick to toss the word " Bipolar" in the mix.... Just have a chat about what both of you need when you both are either feeling up or down.

Maybe he has thought about it before or maybe he doesn't gave a clue.

I found out at age 43 !! Sure it explained ALOT! Through out my life I would go months and even a few years between what I now realize was "Bipolar"

He sounds like a nice guy ....communication is key.

If indeed he has Bipolar or not as a couple you both will make compromises and not all behavior is in need of a label .

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