[leomama]

This is something I've been thinking about in terms of my father. Last fall a therapist identified narcissistic traits in my father and started teaching me how I could have a relationship with him without setting him off. I continued this conversation with my new therapist.
I called my father yesterday and he hasn't called me back. I forgot what I called him about. My mother, whom I believe now has psychopathic traits, heavily influences him, in my opinion, which may be one reason he didn't call me back.
At any rate my relationship with my father has never been fulfilling and now I know that's nothing I caused.
I have no idea what an emotionally satisfying relationship with a father looks like. In my experience such a thing does not exist.

What do you all think?

[Atypical_Disaster]

As far as your father goes, it's going to be tough to have any sort of meaningful relationship with him if your mother is psychopathic. If that's the case then she's probably inflicting narcissistic injury on your father on purpose and quite often. A narcissist that's going through that, like any other person, will start becoming withdrawn and paranoid about talking to anyone out of fear of being harmed further.

Usually a narcissist wouldn't back down like that, but it's a very different dynamic when a psychopath is involved. A psychopath can easily destroy a narcissist in a way that other people just can't.

It sounds like your mother is really messing with what you want, which is an actual relationship involving substance with your father. I don't know what anyone can realistically do about your mother. She is who she is.

[leomama]

I think , I know, my mother is jealous and competitive. When I call my father on the phone she ends up interrupting.

My mom actually is the paranoid one. She also has a much more fragile ego.

I'm trying to let go of my anger towards her.

[Atypical_Disaster]

Your mother reminds me so much of an ex friend of mine it's uncanny. The paranoia, the fragile ego, the way she interacts with her spouse...

My ex friend that your mother is reminding me of isn't a psychopath, she's more of a malignant narcissist from what I can tell.

[leomama]

Yes and I am quite certain my mother has narcissistic traits. Unfortunately the book I'm reading about psychopaths is for ex romantic partners, not children.

[Atypical_Disaster]

Originally Posted by leomama

Yes and I am quite certain my mother has narcissistic traits. Unfortunately the book I'm reading about psychopaths is for ex romantic partners, not children.

I think there are books out there for children of narcissists..?

[leomama]

Yes it's children of the self absorbed and I have yet to read it. I was supposed to review it for another website but never got around to it.

[here today]

What is narcissistic injury? My understanding is it is something that anybody can experience, not just narcissists. But that's not what I found when I googled it, that's not the way the term is used today mostly I guess. Here's one article that explains it more like I understand it:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog...ssistic-injury

A related question is what is ego?

[Atypical_Disaster]

Originally Posted by here today

What is narcissistic injury? My understanding is it is something that anybody can experience, not just narcissists. But that's not what I found when I googled it, that's not the way the term is used today mostly I guess. Here's one article that explains it more like I understand it:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog...ssistic-injury

A related question is what is ego?

I think it depends on who you ask. Nobody can agree with what the **** narcissism even is still, so defining narcissistic injury and other terms related to narcissism is not going to be set in stone.

My definition of a narcissistic injury is something that not only harms your ego, but it also harms your Self as well.

As far as what is ego... I'll save that for a separate reply.

[leomama]

I don't think I asked what is narcissistic injury, I read my original post. I asked what does an emotionally satisfying relationship with one's father look like. The implication was when you had to be walking on egg shells because of narcissistic injury, to your mother. It's all very complicated. He has his moments too.