[Kbby]

Hi.. I'm fairly new to the forums. I have a 21 year old son that is bi-polar and still lives at home. Some days with him are good, some drive me crazy! In the past year he has found a serious relationship. Somehow, mostly due to my own stupidity, this young lady is now living with us too. It was the combination of hearing my son laugh more than I've heard in years and her sad life story that led to our current living situation. I'm a sucker for both young people that have never known a happy home and being able to see my son truly happy. At the time I just could not say no. Now.. six months later I'm kicking myself daily. I'm not a Dr... but after living with the GF for this long, my non professional diagnosis is that she is also bi-polar. She has made mention of times she was medicated and refuses to take anything now because anti-psychotics give her migraines (her words). But, she will only shrug her shoulders and say she doesn't know about a diagnosis. Needless to say, happiness has gone downhill for everyone lately. If one isn't crying the other is. I seem to alternate dealing with one persons break to the next. I'm tired. I'm stressed, depressed, have constant anxiety and I'm fed up. She refuses to get help and he refuses therapy, but will take medication (WHEN he remembers to). I feel l like I'm trapped in my own home. I used to think that maybe one day my son could get his bi-polar under control enough to move out on his own. Recently I'm doubting that. I feel like this is my life until I die. I will never ever get a break. My friends tell me I need to just kick them both out. But how do you throw a young girl with a mental illness and no safe place to go out on the streets? Not to mention throwing my own son out. He is my only child, my life, my whole heart. Despite his illness and the negative, my son has the biggest heart of anyone I've known. How could I send him to live on the streets? I will give anything and everything to make him happy. But how does one keep positive to be able to do this? I'm exhausted.

Sorry for the long post. It's length might of scared some people away I had meant to just introduce myself, but guess I just had to get some of it out!

[Moogieotter]

Sorry you are struggling. You obviously care very deeply about your son and want the best.

Do you have insurance or other financial means? This would open up some options on treatment for you, him, and maybe even her.

Let me know if I can help and share.

moogs

[Kbby]

Originally Posted by Moogieotter

Sorry you are struggling. You obviously care very deeply about your son and want the best.

Do you have insurance or other financial means? This would open up some options on treatment for you, him, and maybe even her.

Let me know if I can help and share.

moogs

Thanks moogs! Thank you for the response. We do all have insurance. Unfortunately I haven't been able to get them to do therapy. My son sees a psychiatrist for Med checks a few times a year and that the limit he'll agree on. The girlfriend won't agree on anything. it did help a bit to get it all out there. It's nice to know there's people that share my problems.

[Annie31]

Originally Posted by Kbby

Hi.. I'm fairly new to the forums. I have a 21 year old son that is bi-polar and still lives at home. Some days with him are good, some drive me crazy! In the past year he has found a serious relationship. Somehow, mostly due to my own stupidity, this young lady is now living with us too. It was the combination of hearing my son laugh more than I've heard in years and her sad life story that led to our current living situation. I'm a sucker for both young people that have never known a happy home and being able to see my son truly happy. At the time I just could not say no. Now.. six months later I'm kicking myself daily. I'm not a Dr... but after living with the GF for this long, my non professional diagnosis is that she is also bi-polar. She has made mention of times she was medicated and refuses to take anything now because anti-psychotics give her migraines (her words). But, she will only shrug her shoulders and say she doesn't know about a diagnosis. Needless to say, happiness has gone downhill for everyone lately. If one isn't crying the other is. I seem to alternate dealing with one persons break to the next. I'm tired. I'm stressed, depressed, have constant anxiety and I'm fed up. She refuses to get help and he refuses therapy, but will take medication (WHEN he remembers to). I feel l like I'm trapped in my own home. I used to think that maybe one day my son could get his bi-polar under control enough to move out on his own. Recently I'm doubting that. I feel like this is my life until I die. I will never ever get a break. My friends tell me I need to just kick them both out. But how do you throw a young girl with a mental illness and no safe place to go out on the streets? Not to mention throwing my own son out. He is my only child, my life, my whole heart. Despite his illness and the negative, my son has the biggest heart of anyone I've known. How could I send him to live on the streets? I will give anything and everything to make him happy. But how does one keep positive to be able to do this? I'm exhausted.

Sorry for the long post. It's length might of scared some people away I had meant to just introduce myself, but guess I just had to get some of it out!

Just as I thought I had a tough situation, you came along, and your situation is far worse.( My bipolar daughter and two granddaughters y moved in with me 7 months ago. It's been an emotional rollercoaster.
I just want to give you a heartfelt hug.

[Annie31]

I só understand. My bipolar daughter and her two daughters moved in with me 7 months ago. It's an emotional rollercoaster.

[Erebos]

I hope you read through the forums a bit. There are a lot of BP sufferers here ho do not allow their illness to become an excuse for this kind of disrespectful behaviour. They take their meds and continue life as productive members of society.
Would you excuse this behaviour is they weren't BP? They need to respect your home and how they are acting on your health.
Your son is now a grown man,
If I was in your shoes I would only agree to them continuing to stay if they were taking their meds and attending therapy. Oh and working.
And yes I do have kids. My 20 year old has a mood disorder and would do nothing about it until I made a similar ultimatum.

Sometimes when people have nothing else to focus on the drama becomes all there is.

[Living in Arkham]

God bless you, I understand what you are going through. We never get breaks. They are our children, and we do everything and all that we can to help/encourage/even bully into taking their meds. I wish you the very best. You sound like a wonderful mother.