[butterflyflies]

I'm trying to accept that I will never get any validation or an actual apology from my ex Narcissist. I replay everything, all fights, all the horrible words (both mine and his) over and over again. I don't do it to live in that moment, I do it to remind my self why I will never ever contact him again.
But it's so hard to make it through every day. I have no friends to turn to, and I'm too ashamed and embarrassed to turn to family for support-it would crush them to know what I've been through, and they wouldn't provide the support I need anyway (they provide the 'it's over now so just get over it).
I'm getting my insurance in order so I can go back to a therapist, hopefully one is who versed in Narcissists.

Back when I was still in communication with him, I asked, begged, explained how hurtful his vile words are, and how they continue to affect me, both physically and mentally, but all he did was justify his words.

I will never get the acknowledgement I need for closure.
Please help!
Any advice for gaining validation and closure from apologies that will never come?
Any advice on going at Narcissist recovery alone?

[TishaBuv]

I say I manage a few relationships with people most close to me who are pretty narcissistic. None are diagnosed.

I have been able to coerce an apology only if I hold my affection over them. They have given reluctant apologies after I had to prove beyond any doubt and their gaslighting that they did abuse me and unless they own up to it I'm not going to have anything to do with them, or will never forgive them. Shallow victory, eh?

In your case, this is an ex. So you hold nothing over them and will most likely never get an apology. Telling them how much they hurt you will not get you any empathy from them.

Maybe your first step in healing is recognizing (see my other thread in the Narcissist forum) You Can't Get Empathy From A Narcissist

[leomama]

Originally Posted by butterflyflies

I'm trying to accept that I will never get any validation or an actual apology from my ex Narcissist. I replay everything, all fights, all the horrible words (both mine and his) over and over again. I don't do it to live in that moment, I do it to remind my self why I will never ever contact him again.
But it's so hard to make it through every day. I have no friends to turn to, and I'm too ashamed and embarrassed to turn to family for support-it would crush them to know what I've been through, and they wouldn't provide the support I need anyway (they provide the 'it's over now so just get over it).
I'm getting my insurance in order so I can go back to a therapist, hopefully one is who versed in Narcissists.

Back when I was still in communication with him, I asked, begged, explained how hurtful his vile words are, and how they continue to affect me, both physically and mentally, but all he did was justify his words.

I will never get the acknowledgement I need for closure.
Please help!
Any advice for gaining validation and closure from apologies that will never come?
Any advice on going at Narcissist recovery alone?

I can refer you to some online resources, there's thrive after abuse, out of the fog, and welcome to oz as well as bpd family and bpd central. You don't have to go it alone. Have you looked for a therapist who specializes in trauma? There's also a survivors of abuse forum on psych central.

I have "made" several of them apologize. I know they don't mean it, but I still appreciate they they have tried.

[Iluvu]

Originally Posted by butterflyflies

I'm trying to accept that I will never get any validation or an actual apology from my ex Narcissist. I replay everything, all fights, all the horrible words (both mine and his) over and over again. I don't do it to live in that moment, I do it to remind my self why I will never ever contact him again.
But it's so hard to make it through every day. I have no friends to turn to, and I'm too ashamed and embarrassed to turn to family for support-it would crush them to know what I've been through, and they wouldn't provide the support I need anyway (they provide the 'it's over now so just get over it).
I'm getting my insurance in order so I can go back to a therapist, hopefully one is who versed in Narcissists.

Back when I was still in communication with him, I asked, begged, explained how hurtful his vile words are, and how they continue to affect me, both physically and mentally, but all he did was justify his words.

I will never get the acknowledgement I need for closure.
Please help!
Any advice for gaining validation and closure from apologies that will never come?
Any advice on going at Narcissist recovery alone?

All ican sayis time willmake you realize that thisperson is not worthyour desdire for an apology. I havelearned to not give my energy any of it ever and to restrict the psychopath frommy life- legally- this was the ONLY WAY.
NOT thinking, engaging or acknowledging tpher existence is what makes Me win.

[Pinetree487]

Narcissists usually never apologize, as they are defending themselves like their life depends on it. I know how you feel though, its a terrible feeling to have someone treat you so badly when they are supposed to love you. Imagine a person growing up with a narc mother, and never getting apology or seeing any form of the mothers regrets.

One thing that will help, is to realize that the time and emotions and stress spent on the need for apology can be replaced with the time and energy needed to heal yourself. Even if you dont have another person in your life that can truly empathize with you, you can heal by getting to love yourself more. One thing that surprisingly helped me was watching Meredith Miller on You Tube. Look her up, she has a website too. Look through list of all her videos, she has a soothing voice, knows alot about Narcissistic abuse, and has a free course on healing. Good Luck.

[Atypical_Disaster]

It's not impossible to heal alone, however I do not recommend it.

I may be able to give you some answers about narcissistic behavior, I have a unique perspective. Validation is something I am oddly good at giving to people. My inbox is open should you ever want to chat.

Take care of yourself, and good luck.

[Lizsassycat]

I am the adult child of a mother who thinks every emotional situation is about her. As I get older I feel much resentment for the mental abuse I have and continue to suffer. I am NOT a victim as I have a healthy relationship and three wonderful children. I think every day that she jsut does not KNOW or grasp the pain she has caused. So yes it's hard but you have to find your own peace. Hugs to everyone.