[BDPpartner]

I love my partner but there are times when I hate him too ! He is currently in crisis and triggering at anything and everything, when he does the spiteful aggressive things he says really do make me question whether he actually has the capacity to really love me. We don't have children together​ but he has children from a past relationship and unlike most every other person I have ever spoken to, he does not consider the birth of his children to be a special event in his life and definitely not the best moments in his life. So when he rant and rages at me and doesn't miss a beat let alone stop if I end up up sobbing ( he isn't physically violent has never and would never hit me ) I can not help but feel hate towards him but as I say it also makes me question his ability to have a really emotional connection to another person. He is Borderline but I have had it explained to me that unfortunately those with BPD can have traits from any and all of the other personality disorders, so the longer we are together and the more I learn makes me wonder whether this is narsisitic trait that he has

He has always had a struggle with using gambling as a form of self harm, but for the first time ever he has been gambling online and I am being blamed for it, it's taking all my self control not to smash up the computers etc. I don't want to lose my temper and really lose it as it wont help but it's a blooming struggle, does anyone have any good strategies for dealing with anger ?