[Breathe12345]

Hi, I hope I am posting in the right place. I am struggling and I need hope and guidance. I have two young daughters under the age of 8. They are both going through something and I don't know how to help. One daughter is experience anxiety which is hitting it's peak. There are issues with separation, social and not sure what else. She doesn't sleep well and is no longer doing the after school activities she once enjoyed. She is always worrying and at night having scary thoughts that she can't stop thinking about. Every day she is asking questions and looking for me to explain things from start to finish. She is getting more stomach aches as well. So far it has had little affect on her going to school, although she is very shy there.

Her sister in the other hand is very frustrated with a short fuse. When she is upset she has a meltdown and can say mean things. A few times she has thrown something or hit something. She doesn't get physical with us but does hit her siblings or show agitation when they are not getting along. I also wonder about a sensory issue because most mornings are a struggle getting her dress. Although it's not always consistent,most times she is frustrated with her clothing or doing her hair. She sometimes seems fidgety and tells me that her legs need to run. Sometimes during her meltdowns which happen because something didn't go her way she has said to please do it or give it so she can stop thinking about it. I don't believe she is having these tantrums because she is fresh, I believe she can't help it.

I have no idea what to do or where to start. I am trying to get them in with a therapist but it's almost impossible for an appointment with in a few month time frame. I feel like I am in this alone, I need guidance and someone to tell me what is really happening and how I can help them.

I suffer from anxiety myself but have found ways to help myself, my Husband's side has bipolar and anxiety.

I would love to hear your thoughts on what you think may be going on especially with my second daughter and what I can do to help. Thanks for listening.

[Victoria'smom]

You need to get your daughters to a psychiatrist to be diagnosed both of them exhibit symptoms of several disorders. A therapist is good but many can't diagnose. It takes several visits to get fully diagnosed. Plus their dx can change as they age. Both myself and my sister are bipolar but we exhibited completely different symptoms. Mine are anxiety based. Her's are rage based.

A good start is your family doctor. They can start the process with a referral to a psychiatrist.

Another route is their school. First of all, if you haven't done already, have a meeting with their teachers to determine if they are exhibiting similar behaviour at school and with their classmates. Most school boards have school psychologists. It might be a good idea to go that route too. They can start testing processes - ie. is this a behavioural problem? a disorder? a psychological issue?

Perhaps their teacher or their school is not a good fit for them. Let me explain it this way. Many of today's schools push children to do things before they are developmentally ready. For example, kindergarten used to be half day or if it was for an entire day, there would be "naptime" built into the schedule (something especially needed in the Fall semester). When my children were in elementary school, there was only funding for PE class once every two weeks and due to the demanding schedule--there wasn't recess time everyday. That might be manageable in 5th grade but not so much in 1st grade. When kids do not have play and physical activity, I think it effects academic performance. And just like grownups, chemistry between teacher and students can effect performance. If a child has an anxious nature, they may not do well with the most perfectionist, hard driving teacher in the school even if she/he has a very good reputation. If you have time, I would observe your kids in their classrooms. Some school districts offer choices. Such as schools that specialize in Montessori, arts, language and other types of curriculums. Now is the perfect time to look into this kind of thing. Of course, they may have a disability such as autism, dyslexia, that kind of thing. In addition to talking to a doctor, there may be a specialist at their school who could offer you an opinion. Listen to each and every opinion but do get more than one opinion. I think its a bit like mental health issues. Sometimes we improve without help and sometime kids do grow out of some of their issues. But not always. They may need help.

[alicetailor]

You should definitely consult a doctor on this. Keep us updated what the doctor says.