My son (ASD and OCD with suicidal ideation)

I don't know what to do to help my teenaged son and am looking for advice. This should be flagged as possible trigger but I'm not sure how to do it.

My son was hospitalized 6 months ago for a near attempt at suicide. He had been planning for a month and had everything planned to a T. His biggest concerns were that my husband and I didn't find him and didn't have to deal with anything he could take care of beforehand (his room was spotless and he withdrew all of his bank account and left it in his room). It is a miracle he was stopped (that is a positive story I will tell one day).

My son is on the autism spectrum (disagrees with that diagnosis) but is very high functioning, also has anxiety and OCD. Come to find out, he's struggled for years with suicidal ideation and obsession and never told anyone. In his black and white world, he's not perfect, will always be flawed and that is not acceptable.

He has difficulty in some social situations but has a couple of good friends who seem to understand and care about him. He has trouble empathizing with people and he sees this as a major flaw.

He is on prozac. It took the drs. and us awhile to convince him to try it but now that its been a few months, he says it helps. He has a therapist but I don't think he's helping any. My son does not do well with change and does not want to change therapists.

I found earlier this week that my son (who had always been anti-drug) has been using garden plant seeds. This newish drug fad acts much like LSD. My son said it makes him feel emotions when he otherwise does not feel anything (pain, joy, etc.)

The diagnosed conditions will be life long for him and he's not getting better. The suicidal obsessive thoughts are just as frequent as before prozac but for now, he's able to push them aside. He's very worried about the state of the world (wars, over population, hate, intolerance) He has activities in place after school to try to improve the state of the world but has days when he comes home and says, "why bother".

He was released from the hospital because he had a reason for not going through with it - out of obligation and love for me.

While I'm happy he has at least one reason, I'm afraid I may not be enough. I'm so scared and, as I'm his only reason, what if I fail him? I'm trying to show him the other wonderful reasons he needs to live, experience and contribute to this world, while at the same time doing a balancing act of not smothering him and watching him every second.

Any and all advice appreciated.

Welcome to PsychCentral, Me! I hope you find the time you spend here to be of benefit. I'm sorry you find yourself in such a distressing situation. Hopefully coming here to PC can be of some comfort & support. May I suggest you introduce yourself over on PC's New Member Introductions forum? Here's a link:

https://forums.psychcentral.com/new-...introductions/

There's a lot of support that can be available here on PC. The more you post, & reply to other members' posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are the chat rooms where you'll be able to interact with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) So please keep posting!

Here are links to three suicide-related articles from PsychCentral's archives. Hopefully they can be of some benefit:

https://psychcentral.com/blog/archiv...s-and-suicide/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/frequen...about-suicide/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/archiv...y-be-suicidal/

I just saw this it's to late for me to write a proper response. So I'll respond tomorrow if that's okay.

My son has ASD and a mood disorder. His first attempt was age 8. Black and white thinking is part of ASD. So is OCD behaviors. My son has anxiety over everything. Which makes his suicidal thoughts more prevalent. My son’s on several medications and in therapy. Encourage him to tell his therapist and Dr about his drug uses or ask his permission for you to tell them. His medication isn’t helping enough. He needs to find reasons live for himself. It’s not going to be a ah moment. Would responsibility over a pet help? He often thinks he’s just an investment. That we had him to take care of us when we get older and that he’s a bad investment. I sometimes feel bad to pass bad genes down because he never asked for this. However all we can do is give him the space to deal with his health care himself.

When I was a kid I did a lot of drugs but wouldn’t take even a tylenol. I had a therapist but I was to scared what I said would get back to my parents so I said nothing. So I was labeled a “brat”. Make a deal with his therapist that the only time you want information is if s/he suggests hospitalization. That it’ll Just be “he needs the hospital” no questions asked. That you’ll leave the room at the ER if he asks you to. Going through the privacy agreement with both him and his therapist together may ease his mind. If he doesn’t want to leave that therapist don’t make him.

A lot of times I don’t hurt myself is because I’ll have to explain to the ER why I did what I did when I don’t have the words to explain. There’s a lot of fear of failing, who will find me, responsibility to my family and all that keeps me going through my hard time. Mostly not wanting to go back to the hospital. Not that it was a bad experience just one I’d rather not repeat often.

I feel one day I may lose my son when he’s transitioning to adulthood because priorities change and that scares the hell out of me but the only thing I can do is help teach him how to be an advocate for his own health. You may want to see if they have a teen intensive outpatient program or a partial hospitalization program for him.

My son is suicidal as well. Trying everything i can think of...two different therapy sessions a week, medications, group therapy etc. And yesterday i have police show up for a welfare check because he texted a friend he was going to hang himself. Not sure what else to do. All i know how to do is pray and take him to all of his appointments. I feel your struggle. I would like to send you good energy and thoughts because I know sometimes that is all we have left

Hi. I'm sorry about your son. I guess I'm kinda in a similar situation as your son. I have high functioning autism, anxiety, depression, OCD tendencies. The whole thing. I've been on medication for years, and nothing has helped for over a year.

I have a lot of black-and-white thinking. I never think I'm good enough.

One thing for me though was my family influence. My family has made me believe that I can't be good enough for anything I do. Even if I get As in school, I feel like a failure because I could do better. 99 isn't good enough. Just always remind your son that he's good enough for anything. He doesn't have to be perfect. As long as he's tried his hardest. I know it's easier said than done, but I believe if I was told this long enough as a younger child, my anxiety would be a bit better. I don't talk to my parents at all. It's really good that you are getting the help your son needs.

I know that having depression and autism makes it hard to experience and express emotions. I've been told for me that my brain realizes that I'm feeling something, but doesn't know what to do with this information or express it appropriately. So I know that drugs may seem like your son's only option (in his mind), but it's possible. I would suggest seeing a therapist who knows about autism; a specialist. Like for me, the people I've seen in the past were okay, but I currently see a specialist and I feel a lot better about it. He explains to me social things that I don't normally get. And I don't feel uncomfortable talking about it.

Maybe schedule a time, email, or phone his therapist about not telling you anything unless necessary (ie suicide). I was always scared for my family to know certain things, and my mom would always pressure me to tell her things I talked to my therapist about, and it made me extremely anxious. Some things kids don't want their parents to know, and that should be okay.

I would suggest switching medications, or adding something. I'm not a doctor, but I know that for me, if I'm suicidal, it means that the medication I'm on isn't working like it should and I need to find something that does. I've never been on multiple medications, but that's apparently my next option, as monotherapy (one drug only) has not worked for me the past 4 years or so.

Finding friends is also really hard for me. At least for me, knowing I have a friend I can talk to if I need help makes me feel a bit more comfortable with myself. It makes me feel appreciated and cared for.

Oh, a reason for my depression is loneliness. I don't relate to people a lot. I don't have many friends. While my siblings seem to go out with their friends all the time, I am always constantly at home and feel extremely lonely. It makes the depression worse.

I guess one thing that works for me is distraction and friends, but you can only do that for so much, you know?

Anyways, hope this helps a bit. I don't really know where else to go with this.

I have ASD so please be kind if I say something socially unacceptable. Thank you.