At My Wits End

Thank you! I agree with you. I feel torn between doing is what is right for us or doing what is right by him.

You've tried for 2.5 years and your husband clearly refuses to change and he knows how to hook you emotionally, when your instinct is to pull away in order to protect yourself and your new baby.

It seems like you are entangled in a codependent relationship with your husband. Have you ever heard of codependency before? If not, I would encourage you to read up on 'codependency.'

And I would encourage you to follow through on what your natural instinct is urging you to do: separate from your husband so that you can keep yourself and your new baby safe.

Maybe move in with friends or family and break your lease if you decide to leave permanently. Your job and your lifestyle will forever change if you continue to live with someone like your husband, who refuses to take the steps he needs to, to help himself.

Being around an addict who refuses to seek help, is a situation that will only get worse for you in practical ways. He'll stop working b/c he's too high or drunk, or he will lose his job b/c he shows up high or drunk.

Then, you will be forced to be the financially responsible one and you will end up working 2-3 jobs just to keep a roof over your head.

Meanwhile, your baby left alone with your addict husband, is at risk of being abused or worse. This scenario plays out in the news all the time. I realize that is the worst case scenario, but it is reality.