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Veteran Member
Member Since Sep 2018
Location: Birmingham UK
Posts: 603
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#21
This sounds so familiar. Perhaps I gave someone benefit of the doubt as she had underlying health problems (epilepsy). Got friendly with her at work. Everything okay for the first few months, then noticed every conversation revolved around her, husband and daughters. When I mentioned how my niece was doing at school, the subject was quickly changed back to her daughters.
Turning point was a male colleague asking why I was friendly with her. We had a great relationship so he felt able to comment without offending me. That was the eye-opener. One day he said something to her that she didn't like, so threatened to report him. Wanted my support, but I genuinely hadn't heard what he'd said. Then accused me of taking his side. What he said fairly innocuous; her problem she could dish out but not accept. Needless to say, she didn't report him. Went out socially with her and another colleague. The last time, noticed her bad language. Everything she said liberally splattered with f bombs! Began to distance myself then. Nights out dwindled because other (nice) colleague left the company. Then I lost my job. Fast forward eight months. Couldn't avoid this woman in local shopping centre. Walked towards me with arms wide open whilst talking on the phone. Totally dismayed when I stepped to one side. Was also supposed to wait until she'd finished her call. Made my excuses and left... Not heard from her since that day, so yes, it was all still about her! |
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Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,131
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#22
Quote:
They're a most difficult personality to deal with. And honestly? I believe they must have trouble keeping friends because they're so difficult. No one wants to deal with that kind of personality. It's never a two-way street with them, like normal friendships are SUPPOSED to be. It's always about them. And yes, they can dish it out, but certainly cannot take it back in stride. And if you DO offend a narcissist? I have found it's an all out war they wage against you. Good riddance to her! You don't need that kind of person in your life. All they do is make one miserable and feel worse rather than better. __________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
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poshgirl
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Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,131
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6 3,643 hugs
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#23
And when you get underneath the narcissist's skin and unveil who they truly are? They go on a rampage and warpath against you! They will stop at nothing to get back at you -- smear campaigns, antagonism, insults, anything they can think of to tear you down because their overly inflated ego is bruised.
That's exactly what this narc is doing to me right now -- and I have to laugh at them because it's so pathetic and because I can see right through all the BS. __________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
poshgirl
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Veteran Member
Member Since Sep 2018
Location: Birmingham UK
Posts: 603
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#24
Totally agree!
Now I've realised what her behaviour was about, it's all slotted into place. Only a few people in the office had anything to do with her. Luckily, she didn't quite wage war on me when I told her to back off one day but did complain to colleagues who she thought would listen. The male colleague mentioned had a car accident; I was first person he called after trying to get hold of his wife. Although he returned to work quickly, obvious it had affected him. When she asked what was wrong with him, I stupidly told her. A few weeks later, someone ran into her. When she mentioned she was struggling with aftermath (although not injured), I suggested she went to counselling. Big mistake; nasty comment about helping him but you can't help me. Yes, definitely a narc... |
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Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,131
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#25
Quote:
The one who is trying to tear me down is most maddening. This person claims to be oh so supportive and wonderful towards everyone she meets, yet she backstabs and is very passive aggressively putting me and anyone else down who crosses her, and it's just plain TOXIC. This person is entirely toxic for me personally. __________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: US
Posts: 22,526
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#26
This person sounds very unwell. She or he likely feels very inadequate, their life is likely a mess and to make themselves feel better they are trying to create fake grandiose persona and assign fake qualities to themselves.
Sadly it’s obvious they don’t accomplish much by doing so, just making themselves look ridiculous and even more inadequate. I know you said you are lucky not to have to communicate to this person but if you do have a chance, I’d recommend to let them know they should seek Professional help and focus on improving their life |
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Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,131
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#27
Quote:
lol... I'd love to tell this person to get help. They need it. __________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
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Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,131
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6 3,643 hugs
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#28
This narcissist turns everything around and calls someone else in their family "evil", when now all I see is how entirely TOXIC this person truly is, in every single way. They are a true narcissist in every form... it's really sad. They are truly toxic and do just about every single thing included in this list:
__________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
Administrator
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#29
This thread is being closed for administrative review. Please don't start a new thread on the same subject.
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