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Old 12-28-2020, 01:32 PM   #1
RamblinClementine
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Hi All,

My brother was formerly diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. I am the only person in my very large family who still talks to him (as far as I know). He turned 30 yesterday. He lives alone in a room in a shared boarding house and has been relatively stable for the last couple of years. Before that he was homeless for a while and in and out of jail for small crimes.

We kind of talk. He texts me images he likes from Reddit. Sometimes he doesn't respond to my texts. I visited him back in July (he lives two hours away) and he didn't wear a mask properly and that really irked me. Since then we text a little. I buy him art supplies and I recently bought him a book. I think he's mad at me because I said I would visit more recently and backed out, but when we "hang out" he just sits there and doesn't talk. I told him he has to at least try to be conversational with me- really because it is very painful for me to visit him. I feel like he just wants me to buy him things and neither of us has very much money.

I feel sad about this and don't know what to do.
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Old 12-28-2020, 07:05 PM   #2
Yaowen
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Dear RamblinClementine,

I think you do more in this situation than most people on the planet would. I think you are very heroic for what you do!

Sincerely yours, Yao Wen
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Old 12-28-2020, 08:38 PM   #3
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Default Re: Vent about Brother

Quote:
Originally Posted by RamblinClementine View Post
Hi All,

My brother was formerly diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. I am the only person in my very large family who still talks to him (as far as I know). He turned 30 yesterday. He lives alone in a room in a shared boarding house and has been relatively stable for the last couple of years. Before that he was homeless for a while and in and out of jail for small crimes.

We kind of talk. He texts me images he likes from Reddit. Sometimes he doesn't respond to my texts. I visited him back in July (he lives two hours away) and he didn't wear a mask properly and that really irked me. Since then we text a little. I buy him art supplies and I recently bought him a book. I think he's mad at me because I said I would visit more recently and backed out, but when we "hang out" he just sits there and doesn't talk. I told him he has to at least try to be conversational with me- really because it is very painful for me to visit him. I feel like he just wants me to buy him things and neither of us has very much money.

I feel sad about this and don't know what to do.
Caring is a precious gift you give. Even if you just hang out together he is with a human being. Some of the most talented, caring people I have known were diagnosed with schizophrenia.

I found a few sites that I have not personally used but they may be of interest:

Helping Someone with Schizophrenia - HelpGuide.org

Support Groups for Schizophrenia - Schizophrenia Center - EverydayHealth.com

If he is looking for support, here is the forum on this site.
https://mysupportforums.org/schizoph...and-psychosis/

There may be state or federal or local programs that would help him get food or support. Contact local support organizations in their city.

And most importantly, take care of yourself. Good self care is the best way to be able to take care of others.
@CANDC
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And sorry I could not travel both...

I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference."
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Old 12-29-2020, 01:32 AM   #4
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Default Re: Vent about Brother

what candc said is absolutely right! i hope you realize what an extremely awesome sister you are!
i have both a brother-in-law and a nephew who each suffer from their own particular "form(s)" of the disease and it is NOT an easy task to commit yourself to and remain to be a constant presence in their lives.
its very difficult to "toughen up" when hanging in there with them means having to deal with what ever might be going to happen at any time that something could be the next thing to happen.
they rage in anger and key your car ...
the hours upon hours of rambling nonsensical jibberish on and on about who know what in the world but them has any of what any of what all they ramble endless on and on about means..
but you nod and listen and ask questions and repeat things back to them and laugh and show shock and act surprised ..
you remember the nuances of the seperate "entities" and act accordingly to those occassions .
you cling and beg and cry and yell and scream and argue and talk them out of ending their life or harming themselves or from killing someone else...
you exhaust yourself making never ending frustrating attempts to interject the here, the now, whats current to this day in hope to find a "trigger" to snap em back to reality again...
you have explained the situation to a vast network of every law enforcement agency, neighbor, business owner, public transport agency, strangers on the street from here to timbucktoand so they know to get ahold of you and how to reach you in case something comes up .. and it has, and they have... and you have and will continue to condend with every problem on the other end of that phone call that wakes you up at 2 am ....
and you, ramblinclemintine, do all because thats the kind of amazingly awesome person you are!
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Old 12-29-2020, 02:39 PM   #5
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Thank you so much for the links
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Old 12-29-2020, 02:40 PM   #6
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Que Sera Sera, wow you know exactly what it is like!
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Old 01-03-2021, 09:07 PM   #7
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Quote:
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Thank you so much for the links
You are welcome. How do you feel about things now?
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I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference."
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