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Galetre
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Old Jan 13, 2023 at 09:56 PM
  #1
 
My husband has been living separately from me and our son for a couple of years. He moved 200 miles away from us to play guitar in bbq restaurants and dive bars at the beach. He is on disability for mental illness. We have only been communicating through text messages. Lately his messages have been getting more and more angry, with all his anger directed at me. I admit, I am frustrated with the situation, but I try to communicate in a calm, positive way towards him. This week his messages became scary for me. He keeps saying he is sure I want to kill him, that I want him dead. He has also said twice that he had to jump through a glass window to get away from me. He called a local mental health clinic and told them I was in crisis. He threatened to call an ambulance to come get me. Then he started saying he knew I wanted to hurt our son, that I am violent and abusive to our son, and he also thinks I want to kill our son. He said he was going to call the school to find out what was going on. He says I am causing him to have heart attacks as well. None of these things are real. But he believes them.

I had to contact the principal at school, who knows something of our situation and let her know my husband might be calling with false allegations against me. Then I went to the police department to try to file a report. They said I could not, because my husband doesn't live here. I called a domestic violence hotline looking for advice. I went to the mental health clinic looking for advice. I called a crisis hotline looking for advice. I was not able to get any help. I have decided to stop all communication with him. I contacted his sister and told her the situation and asked her to check on him periodically.

I'm feeling scared and heartbroken at the same time. Does anyone have experience with delusions like this? I am looking for some good advice.

Thank you.
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Old Jan 14, 2023 at 03:06 PM
  #2
 
@Galetre I am sorry to hear your husband is saying inappropriate things to you. If your fear is at a level that it is disrupting your life, would you consider relocating and make your location unknown to your husband? It is difficult to say what is best for you. Have you considered having a therapist who could help you deal with your fears and act as an objective witness to advise you what is best for you and your family.

I have experience with friends who have gone into psychotic episodes where they lost touch with reality. It is just not easy or doable in my experience to try to talk someone out of those. Professional help is required. Since your husband does not live locally you have even fewer options available.

If you do not have deadbolts and privacy locks on your doors, you may want to consider security improvements like that to make your house more secure. I am in agreement that trying to communicate with him while he is in these states of mind is not productive and only upsets you.

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Old Jan 14, 2023 at 06:06 PM
  #3
 
Thank you. I am not in a situation where we can relocate at this time, but I have been thinking about trying to in the future. I don't think he will show up here, but again, it's an unpredictable situation. I got some information last week about therapy for me, for how to deal with this. I have to finish a couple of deadlines for work and then I am going to make myself an appointment. It's really heartbreaking all around. Thank you for your reply. Have a nice evening.
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