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Grand Magnate
Member Since Oct 2019
Location: UK
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#1
I ask because the above intro states:
Quote:
Is this forum solely for caregivers of those with a mental health issue as the first part of the sentence says, or as the second part implies, does it also encompass caregiving to people with other issues? I’m asking this for two reasons. One, I myself am transitioning towards caregiving to someone who has no mental health issue but several other issues. I myself have had mental health issues however so msf is an online safe place for me. Two, this is a very quiet, to the point of almost dead, forum. If it were widened to caregiving to a range of conditions maybe there would be more traffic here? Thanks. Realising I may be talking to myself as it’s so quiet here. |
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Nammu, nonightowl
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Wise Elder
Member Since Mar 2009
Location: 8CS / NYS / USA
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#2
Quote:
didnt have a mental disorder their self but had someone in their life that did have a mental disorder. a husband or wife of someone with a mental disorder an intimate partner with a mental disorder a relative with a mental disorder an aid, babysitter, foster parent and so on that was helping someone with a mental disorder. but the poster their self, did not have a mental disorder. they had questions about the mental issues and how to help those in their lives who did have mental disorder issues. there was enough husbands, wives/ couples, intimate partners, relatives, aids and so on posting in the other forums that doc john decided to give this category of people their own forum board, where they can post and ask questions and help each other get through their issues of having someone in their lives that are mentally ill but they their self dont have a mental disorder. I think of this forum board like real offline groups where folks who do not have an alcohol or drug issue have their own support group to talk about getting through the struggles of having someone in their life who does have an alcohol or drug issue. or like a parent's group where they are parents of children who have mental issues. even relatives, spouses, loved ones and so forth, need help sometimes when they have someone in their life that is mentally ill. this is where they get their questions answered and help from others who are in the same situation. |
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Discombobulated
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Super Moderator
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Chat Leader Member Since May 2014
Location: Northeast USA New England
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#3
@Discombobulated that is a great idea. I have posted here about multiple caregiving situations.
How are you holding up with caregiving duties? Those can be stressful. Feel free to post away and if the threads show up as caregivers maybe they will change the name, but please feel free to post here and tag any people with the @ sign you want to get a mention so they know you posted here. Example @Discombobulated CANDC __________________ Super Moderator Community Support Team "Things Take Time" |
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Discombobulated
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Oct 2019
Location: UK
Posts: 4,822
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#4
Quote:
I’m doing okay thanks but it’s up and down I’m finding and because I’m generally prone to anxiety it’s triggered by some situations. It’s a balance between looking after myself and those I’m supporting too, I find I tend to overlook myself which is common I think. |
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Super Moderator
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Location: Northeast USA New England
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#5
@Discombobulated I hear you. I tend to put myself last and then I get burned out, angry and feeling unloved.
So what I am trying is putting my care first. I am actually more cheerful, kind and compassionate because I am giving from a full cup. I am surprised at the difference. CANDC [If you want me to see your reply to this post please include @CANDC in your message - not in requoting my message] __________________ Super Moderator Community Support Team "Things Take Time" |
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Discombobulated
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Super Moderator
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#6
@Discombobulated just thinking of you wondering how things are going.
It is rough seeing my partner get less outgoing but sometimes they light up and join in a song. I started singing What a hoot! CANDC [If you want me to see your reply to this post please include @CANDC in your message - not in requoting my message] __________________ Super Moderator Community Support Team "Things Take Time" |
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Veteran Member
Member Since Mar 2020
Location: Northeastern USA
Posts: 529
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#7
I'm glad you posted, @Discombobulated.
I saw this forum quite a while ago, but there was so little content I passed it by. My caregiving officially started when my wife was stricken with a neurological disorder and sent home after four weeks in a hospital. She recovered the ability to walk (with awkward gait and balance issues) but had / has constant pain. She has ups and downs. I work hard to do chores during the down cycles (in addition to my day job). But then when she's "up" all I want to do is rest and recover, so I tell her to go shopping or go to the movies (or whatever) with a friend. And so we've become caregiver / patient instead of husband and wife. Maybe I'll put that in a separate thread one of these days. __________________ Major Depressive Disorder; Sleep Apnea; possibly on the spectrum Nuvigil 50mg; Effexor 37.5mg; meds for blood pressure & cholesterol |
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Discombobulated
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Discombobulated
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Oct 2019
Location: UK
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#8
@SquarePegGuy thanks for your reply, I appreciate it. I understand what you mean about the shift in relationship dynamics, especially when it’s your spouse and how you can find yourself in caregiver/patient roles.
I support my husband, something in our case which has come on gradually. I still can’t bring myself to say I care for him because to me that denotes something far more full on than I’m currently doing (like bathing and dressing for instance). I can see some caregivers are akin to nursing care, that must be hard. I know however that he would struggle without me now and that makes me feel sad. It must be tough doing a day job and caring for your wife? I only work part time, that’s still doable thankfully, if I didn’t get to work my mental health would suffer, I need that change of scene. I get what you say about using your downtime to rest, that sounds sensible. It takes up a lot of physical and mental energy. I regret I let my exercise regime slide for much the same reasons. |
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Veteran Member
Member Since Mar 2020
Location: Northeastern USA
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#9
Fortunately my job is of the "cerebral and sitting at a computer variety." So the chores allow me to give my head a rest and work off some stress. And some are soothing to me. Folding laundry is my favorite.
Thanks so much for responding, @Discombobulated! __________________ Major Depressive Disorder; Sleep Apnea; possibly on the spectrum Nuvigil 50mg; Effexor 37.5mg; meds for blood pressure & cholesterol |
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Discombobulated
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Desert Kitty hates titles
Member Since Jul 2008
Location: TARDIS
Posts: 9,697
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#10
Years ago I tried to start a social group for this group of people, WAY before this forum. Sadly, it never took off and like many social groups on here, it has been dead for years. It is somewhat true in some forums I'm sure, but there are very few I view regularly.
This is definitely similar to support for people who have partners with not a mental illness, but maybe an addiction like drugs or alcohol. The partner or caregiver needs support too, and to be able to talk to people (online or real life) who relate or might have tips. I don't know about the UK but in the US, caregiver help is very hard to find. It's expensive too, and not everyone qualifies for the government "help". They make it hard to even qualify, let alone actually apply. Nursing homes are understaffed and I hear horror stories all the time. Still, these places cost thousands of dollars a MONTH. Almost everyone would run out of money in no time. We have both a shortage of nurses and caregivers. The latter pays very little for one thing, for such a demanding job. Sick, sick, sick system as this is an essential thing for people as they age: CARE! __________________ Call me "owl" for short! Hmmm....looks like some good tips in here. "Okay, enough photos. I'm a very BUSY Business Kitty, so make an appointment next time." |
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