Was threatened by a client from IHSS recently. How can I file a complaint?

I’m a caregiver & I never worked for IHSS before. I spent a lot of time completing their very tedious & annoying orientations (I had to go to 2), then I spent time & money gettIng finger printed & the background check done.

The guy who was going to be my client is mentally unstable & unmedicated. He is an alcoholic too. He also has severe agoraphobia.

He drinks all day & attends AA meetings ironically. He has no friends or family to help him put aside from his only irl friend who is my client through a company that’s not IHSS.

Anyways, I met him through my client & we hung out at his apartment numerous times.

He’d also ask me to come over to help him take out the trash or to keep him company when I was with my client. My client encouraged me to help him. They live in the same complex.

A few days ago he said that he doesn’t want me to work for him anymore as I stresseed him out to much.

I thought that we became friends, so I told him a few personal things like how my dad has cancer & about my recent doctors visits which I thought was normal conversationsl topics. He told me that he is my employer & that I’m the employee & that there should be boundaries.

He never wanted to hear me talk about myself. He expected me to only listen to him talk. He rudely told me that he’s not my therapist just for talking about my dad & my own health issues.

He then threatened to file a restraining order against me if I text him again.

Of course I didn’t text him again. I didn’t threaten him or call him names. I just said he’d probably need someone who can pay exclusive attention to him & how it was to much that he got upset with me everytime I checked my phone.

He said he’d compensate me for backpay. I don’t know if he’ll do that as I’m not officially registered with IHSS yet I found out today. I’m extremely irritated as I went there a lot of trouble already & I can’t really file a complaint as I’m not even registered in the system yet!

I felt like he used me for free labor & comoany. He is did call the cops on my client begore. She is always helping him. He claimed that she ‘attacked’ him when they were play fighting.

He is crazy! My client would never hurt anyone intentionally. She is a nice caring autistic lady. He is emotionally abusive to her but she cares about him & she feels sorry for him, so she always ends up forgiving him for being abusive eventually.

Her friend & her family hate him too. I think that he overreacted & that he is being ridiculous.

I’m mad as hell that he would do something like this. He also gossiped about me to my client & said that zi told him nasty things about her.

I didn’t. I only vented a little bit & asked him why she’d say this or that about me.

He complained about her a lot, so he’s a hypocrite.

My client told me what he told her. He fired his last caretaker as she lied about the hours she worked.

I complained about him to his vase manager & she said that she’d talk to him. She didn’t seem to care that I was abused & used though.

She didn’t say sorry or anything like that. It’s obvious that she’s taking gus side as she doesn’t know me. She told me that he’s going through a lot as if I should excuse his bad behavior because of that, ugh!

I’m sure that he lied & exaggerated about things.

He is so selfish that he asked my client to come over to do the dishes late at night the day before her birthday after we came back from an event with her & her friend.

She went & heloed him out as she’s a big people pleaser & he takes advantage of her kindness.

This is the same lady that he called the cops on once! He also accused her of trying to poison him once too when she made him a sandwich.

He asked her to buy him food when she’s living off off government assistance too. And not just any food, specific types of food.

He is almost broke but he keeps ordering stuff from Amazon & Whole Foods. Ridiculous!

I’m so glad that I dodged a bullet there! I’d be forced to listen him repeat the same boring stories & stuck listening to music I don’t really like all day if I actually did end up working for him, ugh!

Maybe I didn’t read it correctly but it doesn’t really sound like abuse. The guy sounds pretty aggravating and is a piece of work, but I’d say if he doesn’t want you to work for him, then I’d cut all ties and leave him alone

If you were supposed to be his caregiver, then you can’t expect him to listen about your life. It’s only fair that he’d talk about himself. That’s how clients and caregivers operate.

Him gossiping or venting about his neighbor is very different from you talking about your clients. He and his neighbour don’t have professional relationship. You do have professional relationship with your clients. So it’s better not to talk about them

Well if he would be your client you’d have to listen to his boring stories or what not, most jobs in caring professions involve being there for difficult patients/clients/students and putting up with some nonsense. Comes with a territory

I highly recommend to not ever try to become friends with clients or prospective clients. It’s better to keep relationship professional

You have a point. He was way out of line for threatening to file a restraining order against me though just for responding to HIS text.

Unbelievable! How rude! He is ridiculous. My clients parents, her bff & me told her it’s a very bad idea to become his caregiver & she even admitted that too.

Hopefully she’ll change her mind about things. He will probably end up calling the cops on her again, ugh!!!

Oh, I will definitely never talk to him again. I blocked his number too.

I think this goes along with your previous issues of befriending shady people and then being upset that they treat you badly. Dude drinks all day, isn’t a nice person and is unstable. Yet you hung out in his place, befriended him. shared a lot of your personal life issues and performed household chores and duties for free (as apparently you weren’t formally hired.) Why?

Then when things go sour as expected, you want to file complaints. About what? I think you need to be more selective and careful about people.

I didn’t intentionally befriend him. My client introduced me to him. She told me about his past & I ended up feeling very sorry for him.

His mom was a heroin addict so his grandparents raised him.

She eventually got sober. He seemed nice & easy going at first. He did listen to me a little at first.

I should’ve seen some red flags though as my client & her have a dysfunctional relationship. They fight then don’t talk to each other for awhile then my client comes back to him eventually.

Anyways, I didn’t think that i was working for free as he told me that I’d get back pay with IHSS.

He said that he’d authorize 10 hours of back pay. Unfortunately IHSS screwed up my paperwork as I got a letter in the mail a few days ago stating that I I never completed orientation, the finger print & the background check. I did all three.

I won’t get paid if I don’t complete everything by 11/13 it said. Unbelievable! No one can do much to help me. I either get transferred or to call a different place which is extremely frustrating!

I keep getting told to register online which is annoying. No one knows whats going on or they’re to lazy to really help anyone.

My friend thinks that he has alcoholic dementia or something like that.

What worries me now is that my client who has ADHD & autism is going to ne his caretaker now!

Her parents, best friend & myself told her that this is a very bad idea!

She can only work 15 hours a week to not affect her SSI benefits.

You need big time trigger warning for your post.

Working before being officially hired with the expectation of a back pay is never a good idea. Having said that there’s nothing wrong with helping people for free but you are upset he used you for free labor. Otherwise it’s fine to do things for free

I do understand that you were introduced too hjm and that he had a rough life. But it doesn’t mean you got to know him well enough to do all that. That’s what I am saying unless you are hired and engage in strictly professional sense, don’t get that close that fast to total strangers.

If you completed orientation, background check and finger prints, you should have some record of it. Receipt? Certificate?

Sorry. I forgot to add a trigger warning. I’ve been more tired, sore & depressed lately & not thinking straight at times.

I’m often tired these days. You have a point. I let my guard doen to quickly since he seened nice & my client knew him too.

I’ll definitely need to maintain more professional boundaries from now on. Especially with people who have mental health issues.

I did get a receipt for the IHSS finger printing & background check but I don’t have it anymore.

It doesn’t matter as I don’t want to work for IHSS anymore as they make you jump through hoops & then they screw everything up after you end up wasting months of time & money for everything!

No thanks. And I definitely don’t want to risk working for more mentally unstable & hard to deal with clients ever again.

A new aquaintence of mine had issues with two women in the past. One lady tried to use her as a professional house cleaner. The other one was difficult too & she used her as a free therapist.

They have to much power over a caregiver as they are the only people who can approve your hours. They can definitely abuse that power if they want to try & get their way with things.

I’d rarher work for a more stable company & not one to where hardly anyone can answer your questions

Most of them just transfer you to different departments or tell you to fill out stuff online. They’re either lazy, incompetent or both.

I’m sick of dealing with people too, so maybe I’ll look into rover. com & do pet sitting on the side as a second p/t job.