advertisement
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 05-08-2020, 12:46 AM   #1
SweetsToTheSweet
Junior Member
 
SweetsToTheSweet's Avatar
SweetsToTheSweet has no updates.
 
Member Since: Feb 2020
Location: Atlantis
Posts: 18
1 yr Member
3 hugs
given
Default In love with a psychopath

This person is no longer my partner and yet I feel sort of empty without him. The thing is I don't recieve love from him in the way the world wants you to believe love exists. Instead it is conditional love. Quid pro quo.

I think that is a different sort of love. Less emotional reaction and more care and respecting each other without the butterflies.

Can a relationship with a psychopath work if you are aware and understanding? I understand trauma bond and maybe that is me. I still adore him. We all have flaws.
__________________
Here to simply BE
SweetsToTheSweet is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:

advertisement
Old 05-10-2020, 02:57 PM   #2
Skeezyks
Inactive
 
Skeezyks's Avatar
Skeezyks has no updates.
 
Member Since: Oct 2015
Location: The Star of the North
Posts: 29,333 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
15.5k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Smile Re: In love with a psychopath

I don't know anything about this. But I noticed you had yet to receive replies to this post. So I thought I would at least let you know I read your post & I wish you the best. Here's a link to an article on the subject of ASPD that may be of interest:

Understanding Antisocial Personality Disorder | The Exhausted Woman

Best wishes...
Skeezyks is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 05-15-2020, 10:08 AM   #3
DarkVapor
Member
 
DarkVapor's Avatar
DarkVapor Contemplating the sublime absurdity of it all.
 
Member Since: Sep 2018
Location: Texas
Posts: 38
3 yr Member
5 hugs
given
Default Re: In love with a psychopath

Quote:
Originally Posted by SweetsToTheSweet View Post
This person is no longer my partner and yet I feel sort of empty without him. The thing is I don't recieve love from him in the way the world wants you to believe love exists. Instead it is conditional love. Quid pro quo.

I think that is a different sort of love. Less emotional reaction and more care and respecting each other without the butterflies.

Can a relationship with a psychopath work if you are aware and understanding? I understand trauma bond and maybe that is me. I still adore him. We all have flaws.

Flaws of course being highlighted imperfections as defined in contrast to outside ideals. Treat the mythical creature with the awe and wonder it deserves, or donít believe in its magic altogether and be rendered blind. The exacting scalpel of dissection does not apply to such a mysterious mist. Mutual feelings yield amplified results.
DarkVapor is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 05-17-2020, 09:03 PM   #4
SweetsToTheSweet
Junior Member
 
SweetsToTheSweet's Avatar
SweetsToTheSweet has no updates.
 
Member Since: Feb 2020
Location: Atlantis
Posts: 18
1 yr Member
3 hugs
given
Default Re: In love with a psychopath

Quote:
Originally Posted by DarkVapor View Post
Flaws of course being highlighted imperfections as defined in contrast to outside ideals. Treat the mythical creature with the awe and wonder it deserves, or donít believe in its magic altogether and be rendered blind. The exacting scalpel of dissection does not apply to such a mysterious mist. Mutual feelings yield amplified results.
Well stated. Thank you.
__________________
Here to simply BE
SweetsToTheSweet is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 12-08-2020, 01:14 AM   #5
~*glass_owl*~
Member
 
~*glass_owl*~'s Avatar
~*glass_owl*~ has no updates.
 
Member Since: Dec 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 182
5 yr Member
147 hugs
given
Default Re: In love with a psychopath

Quote:
Originally Posted by SweetsToTheSweet View Post
This person is no longer my partner and yet I feel sort of empty without him. The thing is I don't recieve love from him in the way the world wants you to believe love exists. Instead it is conditional love. Quid pro quo.

I think that is a different sort of love. Less emotional reaction and more care and respecting each other without the butterflies.

Can a relationship with a psychopath work if you are aware and understanding? I understand trauma bond and maybe that is me. I still adore him. We all have flaws.
I was in love with someone who told me he was a sociopath once. Who knows if he ever truly was. He didn't love me back though and it hurt terribly, it took me years of crying and torment to get over it. He had a certain charm, I miss him, but I didn't want to see him and he dumped me, so it's done.
__________________
Sobriety date 4/19/14
schizoaffective, PTSD and others.
~*glass_owl*~ is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
Old 02-22-2021, 01:31 PM   #6
AliceKate
Member
 
AliceKate's Avatar
AliceKate has an update
 
Member Since: Jan 2021
Location: Somewhere in Europe
Posts: 294
217 hugs
given
Default Re: In love with a psychopath

Quote:
Originally Posted by SweetsToTheSweet View Post
This person is no longer my partner and yet I feel sort of empty without him. The thing is I don't recieve love from him in the way the world wants you to believe love exists. Instead it is conditional love. Quid pro quo.

I think that is a different sort of love. Less emotional reaction and more care and respecting each other without the butterflies.

Can a relationship with a psychopath work if you are aware and understanding? I understand trauma bond and maybe that is me. I still adore him. We all have flaws.
Not sure if it can work. Maybe something to ask a therapist. Might be something if he is aware and seriously tries not to cause you pain. But it's a stretch to say the least.. good luck
AliceKate is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 07-11-2021, 05:35 PM   #7
ocdwifeofsociopath
Member
ocdwifeofsociopath has no updates.
 
Member Since: May 2013
Posts: 476
8 yr Member
16 hugs
given
Attention Re: In love with a psychopath

TRIGGER WARNING!!! I see this is very late, but just in case it's still applicable or helps someone with the same question, I have been married to a sociopath for 13 years. A sociopath is a psychopath that hasn't crossed the line of the, mostly illegal, things they want to do. DO NOT be in a relationship with a psychopath. As far as a sociopath goes, you will have multiple times of abuse, even if "liveable" and it's a constant power struggle. You must never let yourself believe during all the good times it's truly full love. I would not advise pursuing a relationship. Most definitely not with 3 of the 4 categories. The 4th that has had "success" is the highly intelligent, charming, work successful type. My husband and I are very close and best friends. Most of the time we have a good life and are happy. We only have one unacceptable area that he has won complete control on. However, it is, to me, one of the worst things I could be put through. He achieved this through a very convincing near suicide manipulation tactic. Had I not had children in the house, I may have continued to call his bluff. As it is I felt I couldn't risk that amount of trauma to them. The area is sex. I'm very moral, very monogamous, and feel sex is sacred. It's to an extreme with me and I know we're going to Hell for what we do. I despise doing what he makes me more than I can bear. I am now his sex slave, subject to sexual abuse, physically and mentally. This includes being a sex toy for his friends, forcing sexual acts on me to get revenge, attempting to "breed" me with others, among more atrocious things I don't want to disclose. No one is the wiser. He makes me act happy and have others involved believe it's me who wants it. I'm talented at appearing completely stable. I used to be allowed to cry when events were over but now I'm required to tell him "how much I like it", make myself happy, and behave very promiscuously for more. If I show my true feelings and express any bit how much it hurts me, I'm punished for days. I go through many times of mental torture and suicidal thoughts. My purpose of saying this is not to bring attention to myself but to give you full disclosure of a relationship with something with ASPD. With all the amazing good, comes a striking bad. I think I'm able to survive because of my extremely stubborn sense of responsibility to others and morality along my knowledge of mental health and healthy coping techniques. Plus my ridiculous flicker of hope that someday he can move away from it and our deep commitment to each other. Do not have a relationship unless you're prepared for this or worse. I never thought he would ever do this to me. Keep your eyes open if you do.
ocdwifeofsociopath is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
Old 07-12-2021, 06:30 AM   #8
Marie123
Member
Marie123 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jan 2011
Posts: 329
10 yr Member
5 hugs
given
Default Re: In love with a psychopath

i AM so sorry you are being horrifically abused. I hope you will find the courage to leave him. Consider reaching out to a therapist. This is so dangerous, he could end up killing you; he isn't going to stop. These are techniques used in POW camps.
Marie123 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 07-12-2021, 10:09 AM   #9
AliceKate
Member
 
AliceKate's Avatar
AliceKate has an update
 
Member Since: Jan 2021
Location: Somewhere in Europe
Posts: 294
217 hugs
given
Default Re: In love with a psychopath

Quote:
Originally Posted by ocdwifeofsociopath View Post
TRIGGER WARNING!!! I see this is very late, but just in case it's still applicable or helps someone with the same question, I have been married to a sociopath for 13 years. A sociopath is a psychopath that hasn't crossed the line of the, mostly illegal, things they want to do. DO NOT be in a relationship with a psychopath. As far as a sociopath goes, you will have multiple times of abuse, even if "liveable" and it's a constant power struggle. You must never let yourself believe during all the good times it's truly full love. I would not advise pursuing a relationship. Most definitely not with 3 of the 4 categories. The 4th that has had "success" is the highly intelligent, charming, work successful type. My husband and I are very close and best friends. Most of the time we have a good life and are happy. We only have one unacceptable area that he has won complete control on. However, it is, to me, one of the worst things I could be put through. He achieved this through a very convincing near suicide manipulation tactic. Had I not had children in the house, I may have continued to call his bluff. As it is I felt I couldn't risk that amount of trauma to them. The area is sex. I'm very moral, very monogamous, and feel sex is sacred. It's to an extreme with me and I know we're going to Hell for what we do. I despise doing what he makes me more than I can bear. I am now his sex slave, subject to sexual abuse, physically and mentally. This includes being a sex toy for his friends, forcing sexual acts on me to get revenge, attempting to "breed" me with others, among more atrocious things I don't want to disclose. No one is the wiser. He makes me act happy and have others involved believe it's me who wants it. I'm talented at appearing completely stable. I used to be allowed to cry when events were over but now I'm required to tell him "how much I like it", make myself happy, and behave very promiscuously for more. If I show my true feelings and express any bit how much it hurts me, I'm punished for days. I go through many times of mental torture and suicidal thoughts. My purpose of saying this is not to bring attention to myself but to give you full disclosure of a relationship with something with ASPD. With all the amazing good, comes a striking bad. I think I'm able to survive because of my extremely stubborn sense of responsibility to others and morality along my knowledge of mental health and healthy coping techniques. Plus my ridiculous flicker of hope that someday he can move away from it and our deep commitment to each other. Do not have a relationship unless you're prepared for this or worse. I never thought he would ever do this to me. Keep your eyes open if you do.
Why do you not leave him? Sounds like you have an obligation towards yourself & your sense of morality to do so.
AliceKate is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 07-12-2021, 03:48 PM   #10
Fuzzybear
Wisest Elder Ever
 
Fuzzybear's Avatar
Fuzzybear has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 92,370 (SuperPoster!)
15 yr Member
74.6k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: In love with a psychopath

I also think it would be wise to leave him. Are you in therapy?

__________________
Fuzzybear is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 07-13-2021, 06:26 AM   #11
AliceKate
Member
 
AliceKate's Avatar
AliceKate has an update
 
Member Since: Jan 2021
Location: Somewhere in Europe
Posts: 294
217 hugs
given
Default Re: In love with a psychopath

Happy parents, happy children...
AliceKate is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 12:42 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2021, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun on Psych Central in 2001. It now runs as an independent community, overseen by a group of volunteers & Dr. John Grohol.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.