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Old 07-04-2022, 10:45 AM   #1
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Default I Need Help! Older Sibling With BPD

Hello BPD community. As a younger sibling of an older Borderline sister, I'm reaching out to this community in hopes that you can help.

My sister is currently in her early 30s. She was always strong-minded and spent her childhood and teens taking care of my older brother and I. After graduating college, her career never really took off. We know it's because of her ex-girlfriend of 13 years. Their relationship was very intense and made her mood swings and pathological lying worse.

All of this stress (including witnessing the physical abuse of her mother from my father as a child) must have done a lot of psychological damage to her. I know this because of a few reasons.
  • she can't hold down a job. Mood swings make her disagreeable to staff and coworkers.
  • small disputes trigger very intense mood changes (which has led to gaslighting and physical violence toward me)
  • "loose cannon" personality makes her seem scatterbrained, unkempt and fragmented

She needs to be on disability ASAP. Her mental health prevents her from functioning as she should. Does anyone know how we can get started with helping her? She doesn't have a diagnosis yet, so first I need resources for low-cost or free psych evaluation. Also, links to apply for disability benefits and low-cost pharmaceuticals. Thanks in advance!
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Old 07-08-2022, 10:08 PM   #2
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Default Re: I Need Help! Older Sibling With BPD

In my state you can call211 and get info on how to a cess services, of course she would have to agree to get help. Look under community mental health on the internet for where you live. You could even try calling the local hospital. Hope this helps.
True happiness comes not when we get rid of all our problems, but when we change our relationship to them, when we see our problems as a potential source of awakening, opportunities to practice patience and learn.~Richard Carlson
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Old 07-19-2022, 09:22 PM   #3
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Default Re: I Need Help! Older Sibling With BPD

Maybe you could first start with a family doctor by getting her physically evaluated--and see if that person has any suggestions. The problem, I see, is getting her to admit she needs help--and without that, you're sunk. Unless you can present evidence that she's a danger to herself or to others--then she could be placed in a mental ward and evaluated.

Would she agree to any type of counseling, do you think? Is she still with her partner or a partner--and if so, would they agree to relationship counseling?

Sigh. I had BPD and was actually cured. But I knew I needed help and did DBT * and regular therapy.

* Dialectical Behavioral Therapy

Meanwhile, there are books available to people to help them deal with BPD relatives and friends. One that comes to mind is Stop Walking on Eggshells.

Let us know what happens, please!

Note" Of course, we won't know for sure that she has BPD until she's professionally evaluated. But it sounds like you've done your homework on her symptoms.
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