[EvilPopTart]

So I was labelled with borderline personality disorder a year ago, with other traits. And i would post it in that forum but things have come to light today that i'm not so sure about. I told my psych everything. From when i was a child up until recently. The lying, stealing, manipulation, violence, how i hurt my father, about a risk assessment i had, about my time in a psych unit when i was a teenager. how I feel about people. How i've treated people, my need to be in control. A very brief overview of these things, so she hasn't the full picture. My psychologist can't diagnose and I don't want a new diagnosis. She said something about it might being my core personality and not developing a personality disorder. So now she wants to get everyone together for a meeting. My psychiatrist, psychologist, social worker psych nurse and mental health team manager and also my parents.

My psychologist said that, because i'm on the nhs that there isn't much they can do for me if this isn't an environmental issue. But how can you be born this way?

And I can't afford private treatment. I don't believe in private treatment. So now i'm going to be left with nothing.

I don't think i've done anything wrong. But i'm being treated as if I have. So now I have to try and get some normality back in my life. I'm in college part time, that's a start because i've never been able to stick to anything before. Grass is greener on the other side syndrom.

Anyway, I just wanted to vent. If I have to put a label on myself I would say bpd. But the change of direction today has really pissed on my chips. I should've shut my mouth and rode along with it.