[crowe97]

Hi, my name is Jen and I'm new here. I'm pretty sure I have BPD. Almost all of the descriptions of it apply to me. It's gotten really bad lately though. I totally sabotaged a relationship with a new friend, a guy friend. I totally regret it now and I'm sorry for taking advantage of him. I don't think I can fix it now, though. Things are so messed up. I'm 27 years old but I still live with my parents so have to listen to my mother tell me not to get myself into "scrapes," like i'm still a little girl. Probably because I act like one sometimes. I just want to know why I hurt so much inside all the time. I've been crying so much lately and just want to do nothing all day. Except be around family. My appetite is nonexistent. I just don't know what to do. Luckily, I am seeing my counselor in a couple of days, and am seeing a psychiatrist early next month. I hope to get some answers. I just want to know that there are others out there who understand what I'm feeling. Thanks.

Jen

[dtcoyle]

Hi Jen. It sounds like you are really starting to come to terms with your problems. Thats great news. I heard a doctor say that the only thing worse than knowing is NOT knowing.

Its good to hear that you are seeking counseling and possibly medication. That can be a positive and powerful combination in fighting the problem. The odds get better once you add yourself into the equation. Once you get really tired of living a life full negativity and realize that YOU can change, things start looking up. You really make the difference in the treatment. You can listen to a counselor talk themselves blue in the face or take a cocktail of pills without much changing if you do not want to change.

You can do it if you want to! Good luck (not that you'll need it)

[crowe97]

Thanks, dtcoyle. I hope I can get some help. I'm already taking zoloft for depression/ocd but know it's not really helping with the other stuff. I think one of the things I'm upset about is that I can't seem to have a meaningful relationship with a man. Not that I should care about that right now. I should really concentrate on myself and not worry as much about other things.