[Purple Mist]

its like im a chameleon changing my personality on a dime to seem appealing to other people all the while i have to maintain barriers to keep people from seeing who i really am at my core, i have a great deal of remorse and empathy and i hate seeing people getting emotionally/physically hurt for any reason generally i hate talking about religion but if i see a nun or a priest in my path i automatically switch to the church loving type of personality. what am i dealing with here and how can i stop it?

[la doctora]

You have a "people pleasing" type of personality. I have the same problem but over the years I have forced myself to try and own my own opinion without being afraid of disapproval. Every now and then it works, but it is difficult. I am extremely borderline and avoidant, but I also have several characteristics in the dependant and histrionic categories as well. I only started reading about PDs lately and have just had the light shed on what is going on with me without the chance to discuss it with my pdoc and T. You should read on the different personality types and see if anything rings a really loud bell, lol. It did for me. It was like I was just slapped with a load full of truth. You don't have to fit into just one. There can be overlap.

Doc

[CgRgSm]

Hi. I am sorry you are becoming frustrated with your personality. I'd like to add to what la doctora had to say. First, I'd like to say that I agree, you do have a people pleasing type personality and while I have no degrees, and never have been declared a professional, I can tell you exactly what you are, that is if you care to listen, which it seems that you do. Sorry if it seems I am rambling on a bit, but there is so much to explain here.

Here is what you are dealing with. The traits you are describing and how you say you feel like a chameleon trying to blend in are from a personality known by few, as the Peaceful Phelgmatic. A Peaceful Phelgmatic person's ultimate goal in life is to please others, nothing more, and nothing less.

The way humans work is very similar to the machines we have built with our hands. There are different types of us that naturally and instinctively have a desire to fulfill certain goals. It is the "core" of our beings, if you will. Buckle your seatbelt, you are about to be disappointed with what I have to say next. It is impossible to change our personalities or "get it to stop", and for this I am very sorry. At conception, before being born, we (humans) are "wired" a certain way (animals are too but that's a different story for another day). Misconception: People may claim to have "changed" their personality type but when people attempt to change who they are, the result can be personality disorders.

Back to discussing the actual types, there are a total of 4 personality types. The origin of this ideology is from the ancient Greek Philosophers beginning with Hippocrates. It is called "Humorism", or, the four biles; you can look it up. It consists of: the Popular Sanguine, Powerful Choleric, Peaceful Phlegmatic, and Perfect Melancholy. You may say, "there is no way there is only 4 different personalities". This is because people can have hybrid personalities by having most of the traits of two different personalities.

Now back to your real life situation. My advice, although take it with a grain of salt because I am in deep depression as we speak (I post often in the depression forums), is to embrace who you are and find a way that you can please others as often as you possibly can. Now, this isn't an easy task in today's world, and, as this particular personality type is quite common, I feel it is the reason why so many people are depressed today. Now, I don't know with 100% certainty that you are 100% pure Peaceful Phlegmatic, you might be a hybrid with Popular Sanguine if you find yourself more outgoing than shy. I would need to know a little bit more about you to be sure. If you are 100% Phlegmatic, you will get depressed if you try to become something you're not and also if you are unable (in your mind) to be pleasing to other people. I have been depressed my whole life because of this, and it is out of my control. Hopefully this information helped you in some way, and if you would like to talk about anything you can message me any time. Sorry for the long post and sorry I didn't respond sooner, I do hope you get this message and I would like to hear from you.