[Woolgatherer]

Do any of you feel like part of the reason why you don't have any friends (aside from the anxiety aspect) is because of the high standards you set for others?

For me, I suppose it may be because I have a hard time relating to people my own age.

Even for those that do meet my standards, I back off because I can't handle the social expectations.

Can anyone relate to this?

I can in a way but I don't understand what you mean by setting high standards for others.
Also, I have trouble relating to people my age because they're all married and have kids whereas I didn't choose that path.

[drunksunflower]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Woolgatherer said:
Do any of you feel like part of the reason why you don't have any friends (aside from the anxiety aspect) is because of the high standards you set for others?

For me, I suppose it may be because I have a hard time relating to people my own age.

Even for those that do meet my standards, I back off because I can't handle the social expectations.

Can anyone relate to this?

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I must ask.

'High standards' you set for other people?

What makes anyone better than anybody else?

[mlyn]

soooooooooooo understand!!!!!

[Meta]

I think I relate to what you said. I laughed the first time a therapist told me I was a perfectionist. I knew lots of perfectionists and I was so far from perfect...
I was told I was the most extreme kind, so perfectionistic I wouldn't even try most of the time. I also learned that I,however unknowingly, expected the same high standards from other people. It is hard to accept oneself or other people with such standards. I ended up isolating myself most of the time so I could try and escape my own expectations and not be continually disappointed by others. I have to work hard to not keep slipping back into perfectionism.

[Woolgatherer]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
drunksunflower said:
</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Woolgatherer said:
Do any of you feel like part of the reason why you don't have any friends (aside from the anxiety aspect) is because of the high standards you set for others?

For me, I suppose it may be because I have a hard time relating to people my own age.

Even for those that do meet my standards, I back off because I can't handle the social expectations.

Can anyone relate to this?

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

I must ask.

'High standards' you set for other people?

What makes anyone better than anybody else?

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

There are particular qualities and traits I look for in a person. That's what I mean by setting standards.

[Woolgatherer]

Has anyone here been diagnosed with Avoidant personality disorder?

[Bethsway]

It is just the opposite for me...I feel as though everybody is judging me...and I am not good enugh to fit in with anyone...I guess I avoid getting too close to anyone!!

[Woolgatherer]

I also feel as though everyone is judging me.

((((((((((Woolgatherer)))))))))
That's never a good feeling.

[Rapunzel]

Hi woolgatherer. Nice name by the way. Do you work with wool? I am a fiber artist and have sheep, so your name caught my attention.

I think I know what you mean about everyone judging you and social expectations. Is it like you would like to participate, but you are afraid to join in because you are afraid of being rejected? Maybe you have high standards about others making you feel welcome. Not sure if you will measure up?

I was diagnosed with avoidant personality disorder a long time ago, and more recently with social anxiety. The two have quite a bit in common. I've always struggled socially, but I come alive online. And with time and what I have learned through online relationships I have made progress with social skills offline as well.

Maybe you would like to tell us more about yourself so that we can get to know you, and you can get to know us a little better. We can talk about this stuff here, and you might find the social chat forum a good place to practice social skills too.

Rap