[LutherMaze]

Hello all. I’ve come here because I’m seeing this woman that said she has BPD and am hoping to learn from those that have suffered through it all already.

I put the book Stop walking on eggshells by Paul T. Mason, Randi Kreger on hold at the library but their on order and I’m thinking I shouldn’t wait that long to educate myself on it. I must say by the back cover alone it seems quite the vicious illness to live with for both parties.

Let’s see… we met online and talked for about a month before going out. So I’m really only at the tip of the iceberg here. She has told me a lot of the darker aspect of her actions in the past, mental hospitals, cutting and the like. She’s said she is currently on her abuse of alcohol stage. She got a new job some 3 months ago and has to wait another 3 before her insurance will kick in for the therapy she needs. So far she seems to want to get the shrink and help she needs. She said she has an inability to take care of herself. What with paying bills on time cleaning up around the apartment and other domestic things. She’s also new in town having moved for the job.

I’m hoping that my mention of support groups wasn’t a mistake. The topic came up when she confessed to me that she lied when she said she couldn’t come over to my fathers house to keep me company while helping to take care of him, he had quadruple bypass, when she said she had to clean up for family coming over when in actuality she just wanted to have some beers and chill out. She said her motives are all screwed up and beings as she’s abusing alcohol she’s only going out with friend when they invite her to get drinks. It was at this point I suggested combining the positive with the negative and going to a support group, or something equally supporting, with the reserve plan of going out for drinks afterward. The reason I mentioned support groups and message boards was because they where helpful to me. I told her that shared pain is a powerful force that would be wise to utilize

Now about me. I’ve had IBS-d for eight years and have attempted suicide twice. Needless to say I’ve suffered sever depression. My father kicked me to the curb 3 months after my mother died last December 20 because, in all honestly, he’s not sane. He’s also the one that drove me to said suicides, even though I truthfully take responsibility for my actions herein. I’ve also been in virtual isolation for some 4 to 5 years and have just started to get out some.

Any advice on how to proceed and things to watch out for would be greatly appreciated. I must say having read about the whole risky sex thing is starting to freak me out some. It seems I was right when I said no matter what level of hell I find myself in the ground will always open up to deliver me to yet a deeper level. But what’s done is done I suppose.

Man is my psychiatrist ever going to have her work cut out for her next appointment.

Thanks in advance.

[Rhapsody]

Hello and WELCOME to PC....

I would have to say that you are going to need a lot of patients and understand for this relationship to work out, from both your and her side of the fence. You are going into a relationship were both parties already have mental issues to deal with and to heal from, therefore, it is going to make it all that much more difficult (as though any relationship wasn't already hard).

Hang in there.... and always be honest with each other with how you are doing on any particular day and never hide the things that need to be said, or seen by another.


Good Luck....
LoVe,
Rhapsody - ((( hugs )))