[starfruit504]

I'm posting this here because my neighbor says she has BPD. I really don't know her very well, so I have no idea what symptoms she has or if she's in treatment, etc. I don't know BPD, I'm usually in the trauma forum.

The day I moved into my apartment the women who lives directly above me came downstairs to give me her phone number. She introduced herself. Explained she can get very loud. Whenever I saw her she'd mention it, If I get too loud or disturb you, just text me. She had a late night party, 10 months into my lease and I text her around 11pm to ask her to keep it down. She got defensive, said she wasn't making any noise. She just kept texting me, I wasn't even responding, and she was getting ruder and ruder like she was having an argument with herself. I assumed she was drunk and slept in my spare room where it was quiet.

The next morning I had a really long email from her. It was passive aggressive and condescending. I didn't respond. I just figured, "Okay this woman isn't my friend and I won't be doing her any favors anymore" -- I used to sign for packages for her like every day, even though I got the feeling sometimes that she was accusing me of taking one.

A month later she's still very loud up there. I switched bedrooms to get away from the noise late at night. But she texts me more now than she used to. She looks for excuses to text me, she'll literally text me to let me know USPS came. I never respond. I'm trying to terminate contact but she's not taking the hint.

I came home today and there was wine sitting on the porch. It's a shared porch so I left it there. There was no note. Then I got a text from the upstairs neighbor saying that's for me and it's an "olive branch" because she acted "like a jerk." I brought in the wine but I haven't responded to the text. I hope she thinks it just got stolen -- packages get taken here all the time.

I don't know what to do. I worry if I don't respond, she'll do more things to insert herself. I don't want to refuse the wine because that would cause drama (although I absolutely don't want it). My husband will respond to her texts and that makes her send him 10 more texts in quick succession, like Ooo communication is open again.

I don't want to be in contact with this woman. I don't want to do her anymore favors. When I see her, I smile and say hello like a nice neighbor, but that's where it should end. I don't ask or expect anything of her. Why can't she just go away? When is it going to end?

[Skeezyks]

Hello starfruit504: Thank you for sharing your dilemma. The Skeezyks pretty-much just keeps to himself... doesn't look at or acknowledge anyone if he can avoid it... goes out of his way to avoid people on the street whenever possible. So he doesn't tend to have these sorts of problems. This situation reminds the Skeezyks of the story of the tar baby. The more you try to extricate yourself... the more entangled you become. I send you my best wishes with the hope you will be able to find a way to end this difficult situation.