[SoubiNoodles]

When I got depressed, seriously depressed for the first time about a year ago, I thought it was normal for teenagers around my age. Ya know with school and me having a job. Luckly I got treated for it and with a year of therapy I was back to normal.. if there is such a word. But lately, i've been noticing some things that really don't seem my kind of normal.

I guess I can start with my personality. Let's see, first off i'd have to say i'm very eccentric and by my friends, i'm spastic and extremely unique. I don't mind though, I like being different. But like i've said, lately, my anger issues that have already been there have gotten worse. I love my family, friends and my boyfriend but one little thing, one small word spoken wrongly or a sentence worded the wrong way and I just shut down. I feel absolute pure hatred towards them. I mean it is intense hate and I can't control it. It takes usually around 10 to 20 minutes, sometimes even an hour for me to go back to my "normal" self. My emotions go up and down all during the day. When i'm happy, i'm really!!! happy. When i'm sad, i'm really!!! sad. And ya know it's hard. I get so emotionally tired by the end of the day I can't even think straight. And these feelings of hate usually make me feel horrible because I know.. that I should NOT feel this way yet I can't help it at all and I have to wait for it to pass. I hate being alone, yet when i'm surrounded by people, I get irratated and feel my hatred building up again. I feel completely controlled by my emotions sometimes. I read up on some of my symptoms and thought maybe I have Borderline Personality Disorder. I am very impulsive, I spend before even fully thinking and have a bad habit of driving like a maniac. I really don't like it when people are mad at me or don't like me at all yet sometimes, I don't even care. Let's say there are two people. Ok. 1 person, I could care less about what they think about me. 2 person, I could find out that they don't like me and cry myself to exhaustion because they feel indifference to me. There are a lot more issues i'm having and I really don't know what to think. I'm worried I might have BPD or maybe it's just me with an anger problem and some personal issues. So.. I don't even know.

[Direction]

Welcome to PC!

BPD or what I like to call it Emotional Intensity Disorder...fits some of the symptoms you may be experiencing.

Is the therapist you saw before still available? Probably a good time to set up a time.

I'm bipolar with emitional intensity disorder...it is all something that can be managed...somedays it doesn't feel that way...but it can...