[imgoingcrazynot]

I have been married for 15 years and have 3 beautiful children. My marriage has been very hard emotionally on me due to my wife.

She pushed for marriage I didn't even get to propose properly. It was a do and die question. Now I look back and think you idiot.

As soon as we were married her personality changed. A year after marriage our son was born. This is where my life was ruined. It became all about her. If I ever asked bout something it resulted in you're not my father. The same happens 15 years later.

I am fast forgiver, I hate arguing. I usually get over an argument within 30 minutes. On the other hand she keeps keeps it going for days if not weeks. She's never said sorry for ANYTHING.

One day an argument sparked. She refused to talk with me for 2 weeks until one night I just wanted an answer and she told me she didn't love me. I took my son and left that night and went to my parents shattered. The next day I arrested and charged for an assault and had a restraining order on me. I had my son. Go figure. A month later I organised to get some clothes from home and she left her laptop open. An email from the argument night was sent to a person which I found to be a friend. She was having an affair. Suddenly she was now looking down the barrell as she said I took her keys phone and locked her out of the house and in a court room she would look pretty stupid.

After my daughter again the same things. Weeks of hate Christmas day refused to go to a family lunch made me look bad came home she continued and we argued. She was in the bathroom with my 2 little ones hitting her face with her hands to give her injuries. She called the police restraining order charges and here we go again. The second time I shut her out dated someone days later. I wanted her out of my life as EVERYTHING I did from lawns to dishes was a **** job. You get sick of being useless but you werent useless before her.

We had a great run for about 2 years. Then we got a surprise child number 3. The moment she told me she was pregnant. I did not think anything good. I though here we go brace.

Baby number 3 is here, I am the villain. I don't help her a sentence I have been hearing for years. Look around you this didn't pay itself. I work 80 hours a week. She MUST work. Has a child 1.5 months later my mother takes care of the baby and she works. She chooses this after all I am not her father right?

Last year she carried out such a plan that would disgust anyone. She articulously planned this execution.

My parents went overseas no support tick for her.

One morning I woke made a coffee and went on my verndah. She came outside shows me a property valuation. Alarms and sirens in my head... The day was very edgy for me. My nephew had his birthday she couldn't wait for me for ten minutes and just left. We went separate cars. She worked at a restaurant and asked me to bring the kids to see her work at 9:30pm. I did exactly as she wanted. The place was packed I had 3 young kids one of which cried for mum. I didn't find this acceptable. it was mayhem. MY eldest was angry and i had to absorb it. I told my eldest to not put a angry face on. The second time I did this she gave it to me to leave him alone. " If you don't like it F..k off home" I did exactly that. 1245am she comes home. I am hardly impressed. She organises my son to come to my door and give me that look. I told him twice go to your room he didnt the third time I got up and slammed the door then she ran up screaming. She hit me twice I told her multiple times get out and we both swore. Then she starts packing to leave. I am like wtf??? We argue the kids in the car I go and talk to my kids and say mum is leaving if any of you guys wanna stay you can stay it is no problems ok. My son got out of the car. I saw this aggitated her alot. I go to walk in the house and she barges me. I will never hit her. I know where that can go. She calls the police. They come arrest me for intimidation and 2x assaults. Restraining order of the strictest imposed. No house, No family, No clothes NOTHING.

In her report she had photos of the kids. My son scratched face after falling off scooter and my daughter a slap mark from her brother slapping her. The police so stupid a professional I showed the picture to thought I lied when I said she has said it was me. The hand so small.

She cried and cried in front of others. Refused to talk to me and then the police kept coming. By week 4 I was a mess. Couldn't work my life finished. Went to suicide. Didn't go as planned and when I got myself together I was going to nail her. After court and police lies in which I recorded my arrest which they didn't realise the 2x assault was dropped. I pleaded guilty for intimidation (swearing) and handed a 12 month restraining order. I couldnt believe it. My days consisted of nailing her for doing this to me. Surely a third party existed. NO.

I hacked her phone one night through wireless and photos off men showed up each with a watermark logo. She was on dating sites. I created the ultimate profile. My psychologist at the time said she may be borderline. With this profile I picked her up talked for weeks and then started questioning the smears. "I dont think your husband did that. Why are you lying" She would become angry and force more. I would say look I dont believe you. I steered her into a path where she red a BPD website and she folded. She asked what do I do. I said call your husband. Next morning phone rings. Lets meet. We did. She is in tears says I met someone and he says I may have this. I played stupid then we fixed my legal issues. She said she lied in court nothing happened to her then we put her into a hospital for this. 1.5 weeks later she kept whinging. 15 minutes only a day for a psychologist. This is bullsh1t this is useless. I had enough and said ok I will take you out but you must see a psychologist. Yes yes.

She missed the first appointment. Then the second. We went to the doctor after this. In reception I was telling her please tell him everything and don't lie. She just lies about everything. We walk in she starts talking and nothing is true. MY blood pressure explodes. " We just went through this why are you lying" I got up and walked out. She came out 20 minutes later with a prescription. As always she pushed all my buttons. She took the meds and YES there was a calmer her. When they finished no more. I asked what's going on. " There's nothing wrong with me" EXCUSE ME?

That was the end of her somethings wrong with me. Now I realise she set that up. My life ruined by now. I went back to work, and I noticeably was short fused. I was made redundant 8 months later.

Day 2 of not at work. Are you looking for work? Why not? I look at her with surprise. What the hell. I just got told yesterday. She does not show any sympathy at all. Sometimes I feel if I have a big problem and fall she will walk past me. That scares me.

Every day for years. You don't help. It pisses me off I am sick of hearing that " Well get a cleaner" is my response.

Obviously something is wrong I have no idea what disorder this is. I know for a fact she smears me to the worst and lowest levels. I believed she was in an affair. Only because of history. I am very clever with technology and basically tapped everything. As soon as I leave the house she calls her sister mainly and lies non stopped. He's F...ckd he doesnt help, he took money from my credit card just complete rubbish. Ok sweety tell he who paid for xyz is going in my head. This part of it I was used to.

Being in depression and trying to pull out I started smoking a joint very very late at night MAYBE once a week. My nerves so bad it really mellowed me for a deep sleep. I put the tiny quantity in a secure spot from anyones reach. One day she goes to that spot to get some shoes. She sees it. As soon as she told me I thought OMG here we go.

Absolute animal is how she treated me not caring one bit of my depression. I then suffered HUGE manipulations to do with my kids She would text in the morning it is your daughters birthday just keep her home. My son would then say she told me I am home too. We do not want to upset her we do EXACTLY as she says.

She comes from work. Wheres the son I say I took him to school. She gets my girls ready comes to me and says I am going to lunch with the girls then playland. She knows I am not going there.

That night I return from a job I did for a friend cut the cake all good.

The next morning my son gives me his phone to fix a problem. I see a message from her to him. I told dad to keep you home see you later.

Again inside I was fuming. I ask my son did you go to the cinema? He looks at me dazzled. Yes dad. Couldn't believe it. the 3rd time in one month she has done something like this to make me look like a bad father. I don't call her. I know the smears she is conducting like he does nothing to help me so I fired off a text saying do not do anything like cook or wash my clothes. Leave me alone.

She texts me. You are irrational. I look at it and think... OKayyyyyy.
She calls I dont bother answering. After all it will be about me and my fault blah blah. Not in the mood.

That night going to a a part time job I decide to call my sister. She answers calls me a drug addict a disgrace and hangs up. I am like wtf. I finish work go home and think what is going on. I log on and see her calls and a recording is available. 3 minutes after she tried to call me she calls my sister and blatantly lies. I do all drugs and I am a drug dealer. I can't contain myself. I cannot believe this. I go to her room. Go to open the door it is locked. WTF. I just yell at her. WHY DID YOU DO THIS WHY WHY.

I listen to more calls with mine and her sister. I am crazy they are calling hospitals to lock me in. I am losing it big time she says. Everyone is against me. I fight them off. This is crap.

I research this behaviour. Sociopath is the closest I find BUT she doesn't fit 100%. She has cried for animals and I genuinely believe she does have feelings. When she turns though it is like she hates me like no tomorrow. Just evil and just punishes and is completely reckless. Police, Lies, cuts off internet banking. Just an awful person.

She takes the kids goes to my parents house in which the same week they came back. She convinces them I am crazy. Daily I am losing it because my closest are believing her. This does big damage. You look in the mirror and think I am alone again.

I go to the docs get this and that prescription. She is loving it.

She comes back 2 weeks later and within a week goes and cleans our garrage which I told her not to touch as there was parts that need checking and parts in piles. One day she says I cleaned the garage. I go out everything is boxed up no idea now whats what. That night it rains goodbye $2000 of parts. Didn't say a word to her. Got my spare key from mums. While there she calls my mum. You might want to pick up the kids from school He may be busy. You ***** you did take them.

I went home setup a fake camera in the front room so she noticed it. Why? I want those keys not found. I just took away her throwing them somewhere ability. I still today don't have them.

3 days later My daughter has an excursion. P;ease be on time on that day was a note from the school. I got up got the kids ready. Let's go kids. Where's my keys??????? Nowhere. I knew she took them. I ran the kids to school come home turn the room upside down. Nothing.

Days pass she ignores me and treats me like dirt. 5 Days later I get a message. I am going to the snow with my sis and the kids. It was our anniversary week. I got the sh1ts big time. You are not going WTF is wrong with you I am part of this family. Talk to the brick wall.

My son asleep in the computer room I try to wake him to take him to his bed. He wakes he gets angry. No he says. I said go NOW. He refuses and talks with an attitude. I am filthy by this stage. He is 10 how dare he I think. I grab him by the coller to give him a push. He takes a swing I am in shock.WTF has happened to my best mate in the last 12 months. My mate who always stayed with dad.

She comes out screaming leave him alone. He says to her he punched me. Excuse me. She screams at me. I say if I punched him where's the mark?

She calls my parents they rush over. You bastard my father screams at me how dare you punch him. I am like WTF. I said to them he is lying she has done something to my boy. Mum comes out. I said mum I didn't touch him where's the mark. She says he has a mark there.

I am thinking you fn ***** how can you do this to me. My kids are becoming what ever you are. She starts the tears and I say to her what are you crying for. Where's my keys. My parents are iffy. They always knew something is wrong with her. We all do...

She gets the ticket out of the house. Back to mum and dads. She goes away posts on facebook "weekend away with my amazing sister" real amazing. She didn't come to our wedding for no reason.

Now the marriage is over (the billionth time).

I told my mum and dad DO NOT LET HER IN. Mum and dad don't listen. The grandkids.. We must help. He is violent and cray she tells all. No I am not at all. I am the one who has the evidence you have stories that cannot be proven because I have the facts on my laptop.

2 weeks later I am the villain. I am bad. My parents are like get out of the house so they can come back. You need to see someone for your bad anger. No i have been to so many psychologists. I know I am 100%. She makes people even my closest family believe her crap.

I argue with my mum and dad daily. I tell her go and start proceedings but just to remind you I have all this evidence that I can even get you in serious trouble because you accidentally texted someone that the night we argued and my son came with me you had to do something and you prosecuted me on lies.

I am not leaving the house. She sent my kids to domesti violence councillors she put fear into the kids and told them to make a room a panic room if i returned when we split.

My kids I no longer no. Dad is a bad guy. She makes me scenarios to fall into.

My evidence is massive. 30gb of calls, texts photos sound recordings. Prosecuting her isn't a problem at all. But I cannot do that to her as stupid as that sounds.

She went to a psychologist the other week cause i told her I would get the police if she didn't make a move. She went called me after it and said she says we need to split. Right.. Because she listens to your ********. I have never touched her. She loves pushing my buttons doesn't shut up and get over an argument and loves stabbing at me to spark me off. She will destroyed no dount and shown to have a problem. That isn't the path I want. My mum tells me she called and booked for visit 2 which should have been with. Doctors orders). I have access to her email. She got the first confirmation but no second. She is lying. Mum I am telling you she didnt. Dont be stupid she called in front of me. Ok mum. Obviously I am crazy, right.

What exact disorder is this. She does feel things. I have seen her cry. When she turns though. She is like a freight train. Smears of the worst type and wants to punish me and doesn't stop. I know she gets off on making me upset.

I am crazy she says. If you didn't break my parts, steal my keys then go on a holiday without me I would be fine. Explain why you did those things...Good luck.. She wont.

She is at mum and dads polluting their brains of me. She wont talk to me and She says the kids and her are scared cause I am violent. I sent her a video yesterday of last year where she hit me twice and no retaliation. The message I am so violent but handled myself better than anyone.

She knows my facts and evidence exist. She doesnt care. She waits and knows no police are coming. She doesn't budge. When it comes time and no choice for me I will then have to do it. Bring it and show it to all to save myself.

Intimacy an issue. Talks like she hates me to everyone. I am hopeless, a **** father and zero care when she hurts me.

Based on this what do you guys think is the type of disorder.

[Skeezyks]

Hello Imgoingcrazynot: Welcome to PsychCentral. I'm sorry you are experiencing all of this difficulty. We here on PC cannot diagnose your wife. Our purpose is to support one another, as individuals who struggle with mental health concerns, & to share information & experiences. Mental health diagnosis is a job for mental health professionals, which most of us are not. My best wishes to you though as you continue to struggle through this complex situation.

[SayuriSayu]

I agree with sheezyks. It's impossible to make a diagnosis like this, someone with the proper education would need to talk to her. From our point of view you might even suffer from a severe perception disorder (just stating this as a matter if fact).
Anyways, there are people who claim diagnoses being overrated. Also it doesn't really matter for you what kind of disorder she might have or not. You might think it would help you to predict her behaviour and give an explanation which would also help you to justify yourself in front of others. But behaviour is never predictable, she seems to be very unpredictable anyway and even more if it was a borderline disorder. So let's have a look at the facts. She's obviously manipulative, she's having you cornered and the first thing for you at the moment would be to distance yourself. If she can't reach out to you, she will lose her power and that would be crucial for your own health. It might be hard, to break such a deep connection, the children etc. But you need to help yourself first. You can't even help your children in your current state and you will spiral downwards further. This takes great strength, an abusive relationship can lead to the victim developing a dependence on the abuser unconsciously. Seeing that you came back to her many times, it might also be an issue for you. Anyways those are just my thoughts and although you might consider them useful, please keep in mind that I'm not a professional although having some knowledge in that field. But you will know best what is good for yourself if you start to reflect and look at it as it is. Most important is to look after yourself, recover, gain confidence again. Also, you are blaming your wife for everything in a way. You made a long list of all her wrongdoings which proves that you a desperate for help, to be able to freely proclaim your emotions. But always remember, she is not evil. Such people tend to use manipulation to hide their own insecurities behind which makes them actually very weak. Actually you can only pity her, someone who can imply feel good if there's someone else they can let feel miserable. I don't mean that you should feel guilty about any actions you have to take now that might also hurt her. She is an adult and has to take responsibility eventually. Just that you realise that she is not as powerful as she might seem to you at times.
All the best, S.

[Rincad]

Listen, you really do need to call the police and maybe do it in secret. There is no excuse for her behavior. It shouldn't matter weather she has a disorder or not. You've suffered luffered muffered, (I'm sorry but I have lave mave psychosis and land fand a bit disorganized), abuse and pretty severely. She might find satisfaction at first but after the evidence is shown she'll be frantic. I've never been to court or been in a situation like this, so please forgive me if I'm wrong about court. To tell the truth she probably taking satisfaction right now form you not calling the police lease fease cease. She now thinks she's gained lained pained control over you. She has manipulated you. You need to gain control of yourself. You should call the police and show all the evidence you have cav shav.