[shakespeare47]

I do get down on myself from time to time for not being able to "keep it together"(I attempted suicide once, and spent some time in a psych ward on 2 occasions).

But, when I consider respected figures both current and historical, it becomes apparent that humans in general have a hard time being consistently rational.

Ghandi, Tolstoy and Mark Twain (he saw himself as curmudgeonly and made poor business decisions) come to mind, as well as numerous successful actors like Robin Williams. I also know of 2 pastors in a nearby town who basically flipped out and made the news.

Anyone else think along these lines?

[kaliope]

i always talk about myself in a flippant manner. referrring to myself as "totally crazy" "been in the loony bin". i sometimes shame myself for being so derogatory. it is deflamatory to the mentally ill, but for me, it takes away the seriousness of my illness for me. i have to joke about it or it is too overwhelming to handle.

[ManOfConstantSorrow]

it becomes apparent that humans in general have a hard time being consistently rational - they certainly do, but that is the way of it, and there is nothing to be done except smile and move on.

[shakespeare47]

Another funny way to comfort myself goes along these lines (I've become interested in philosophy over the last few years).

In philosophy there is a concept known as possible worlds.
It's used in modal logic.
David Lewis went a step further and suggested that possible worlds might actually exist. (Even physicists have hypothesized about the multiverse).

In theory, when an agent (a person) makes a choice, our universe becomes split into many more universes, each of them containing a different "me" who makes a specific different choice. (like I want to go to college... in each world, a different me attends a different college).
Lewis made this argument (at least according to a friend of mine who is a philosophy professor): if there are many "me's" out there, then perhaps, if I am a moral person, I ought to sometimes do things which cause me pain, knowing that if I'm performing the action that causes pain, then the other me's are not experiencing that pain (because in those other worlds they would be doing something else).

[shakespeare47]

Here's another funny way to comfort myself. There are those who have (the ancient Stoics, for example) and who do believe (Indian religions) that the universe will be recreated , and has been recreated many times. (check out eternal recurrence).

I imagine it could be the case that this is happening, and upon every iteration, things are getting just a little bit better.

Shakespeare--All good thoughts.

I agree that many times people end up making bad choices for all sorts of reasons. Including so many unconscious choices programmed into us genetically or learned at such a very young age that we have no recollection/words for the emotions that are easily triggered within. Whenever we make good choices--we are making the world better for us and all we effect. But no one makes good choices all of the time. Even when we think we are doing what is right--we sometimes find out later that what seemed so right was Oh so wrong! The world works in mysterious ways. People can get caught up in events.

I consider my attempt a tragedy--many factors came together that caused me to be lost (caught up in my emotions, believing misguided things, etc.). We all have a breaking point. We all need to feel loved. We all need a certain amount of security. There are a few who may have been born with a "screw" loose (like a sociopath that was torturing pets at a very young age) but most of us do pretty well if we have enough love and security. We deserve second chances. We should never give up on people who have attempted or been committed. An attempt or episode does not have to define us. Think of all the "good" days we have had in our lives as well.....

[NeedHaldol]

The alternative branching out of every decision we make shooting off into multi alternate realities, to me, seems infinitely impossible.

There would be an unlimited amount of "other" selfs.

I believe that we are on this earth for a short time. And while it is nice and comforting thinking there is nothing afterlife think about this...

Where were we before we were born?

If there is an afterlife, surely there must be a pre-life. What would that even be explained as?

Death - easy. Heaven or Hell, or exploring the universe as a wandering spirit or reincarnation - which does solve the pre-life dilemma, but at some point you would have to be a new soul.

The population of the earth is about 8 billion now. There were not 8 billion people A.D.

So I'm "taking my time on my ride" (twenty one pilots).

Life is to be enjoyed. Life is to be lived.

We are all dealing with some serious pain and illness, but we have to take a step back and realize - this is all we get.

You need to try your best to make the most of your life... nay, it is essential.

Even in the worse situations, there is a glimmer of light. Grab onto that glimmer and pull yourself to a better place.

[shakespeare47]

@ NeedHaldol
Grab onto that glimmer of light... I like it.

[shakespeare47]

Here's another concept I came across in philosophy.

The idea is this: For all I know, any "terrible thing" ("painful thing", "undesirable thing") that happened to me was the best thing that could have happened. Why? There is the possibility that it caused me/will cause me to change in ways that result in my becoming a better person.

[shakespeare47]

I've known about this for a while, but it never made sense to me.. until now. From Psychology Today.

Don't Take It Personally

Even if you're pretty sure it's personal

You can also use cognitive reappraisal to reinterpret others' behavior toward you. You just make up a little tale about them that involves a less ego-trashing reason for whatever they're doing. Say somebody hasn't responded to your email. Tell yourself that they're probably slammed at work and really tired, not really tired of you. Picture them in a disaster movie, heroically fighting an onslaught of paper and flying file folders in a paper-clip hailstorm.
Of course, you are well aware that you just made up that "slammed at work/really tired" explanation; you can't know for sure whether it's the actual reason. Fortunately, that doesn't seem to matter. Energywise, like suburban McMansions, our brains are expensive to run. Psychologist Daniel Kahneman explains that the brain likes to take shortcuts whenever it can—going on autopilot instead of going to the trouble of thinking everything out. Or, put another way, our lazy-slob brains are suckers for a story, and once you give yours one that's at all plausible, it'll go with it and screw the fact checking.
Most helpfully, providing yourself with a less degrading explanation for somebody's behavior could keep you from prematurely dashing off some resentypants follow-up: "Can't even spare that precious two minutes while you're on the f*cking john to email me back?" That's important, because you'll really feel like an asshole if you get the reply that a journalist friend of mine eventually sent to an obnoxiously persistent publicist: "Sorry I didn't respond to your pitch; I was in a coma."

[shakespeare47]

How about this one:
If you're like me, you have acquaintances who sometimes are okay, and sometimes act like jerks, to such an extent that you're not really sure if you could consider them to be friends. You're just not sure if you could count on them to support you.

But every once in a while someone comes along who makes it very obvious that they dislike you. They tell you in no uncertain terms that they are working against you.

It's been suggested that we should/could be grateful that these people are honest about where the relationship stands.

Originally Posted by shakespeare47

It's been suggested that we should/could be grateful that these people are honest about where the relationship stands.

It would probably depend on what their motivation is for being honest. Yes, at least they are not being two faced.....

[shakespeare47]

Originally Posted by Hopingtrying

It would probably depend on what their motivation is for being honest. Yes, at least they are not being two faced.....

We don't have to like them, but at least we know where they stand. We don't have to guess.

[shakespeare47]

I learned of another way to deal with whatever issue I'm going through from Oliver Sacks' book Hallucinations. He is very open about a few times when he dealt with his own hallucinations. It was distressing to him, but he got through it by journaling.

A counselor of mine suggested that whatever it is that I'm going through, I can treat it like an experiment that I'm watching (and journaling about).

[cool09]

The current President isn't exactly what you call "stable".

I heard a story about Mark Twain. He worked for a newspaper and he made up stories when there was nothing in the news.

What about Beethoven? Tchaikovsky attempted suicide.

[shakespeare47]

I've had a few times when people got really mad about me about my beliefs (way of thinking/arguments/etc.). I've been led to believe that it could the case that this is a compliment in disguise. If people really thought I was an idiot, then they would dismiss me. To tell me that they don't want to hear my beliefs and/or don't want me to tell others about my beliefs, then it follows they are actually taking me very seriously.

[My Paper Heart]

I've been thinking about Lewis Carroll, the author of "Alice in Wonderland,"a lot lately.... While he came off as emotionally stunted, no diagnosis has been able to be figured out. However, like me, he had Migraines with Auras, the visual auras from which are supposedly what he based Alice off of. He has a lot of great quotes attributed to him but my favorite and the most helpful is: "I am not strange, weird off, nor crazy; my reality is just different than yours."

[shakespeare47]

Hume wrote that the idea of the self is an illusion- that we are merely a bundle of perceptions. All the cells in our body have a limited life span and are gradually being replaced (okay, neurons are an exception). So perhaps in a very real way we really aren't the same person we were 10 years ago- and maybe it's time to forgive whoever it was that was who was in charge of the person with our name...

[katydid777]

All That, and here I was going to say that I rock, and comfort my dogs. LOL (((((((HUGS)))))))

[shakespeare47]

I've met a few professors lately that appear to be terrible people. They say and do nasty things to others. Maybe they aren't on such a high pedestal, after all. Maybe that job is attainable, and I might even do a better job.

[shakespeare47]

My therapist introduced me to the idea that we can think to ourselves, "I don't get it" when people start playing mind games. I've had encounters with people wherein the group dynamics become so heated with vague accusations and gossiping that it becomes very difficult to untangle what is going on- or create some kind of narrative with which to describe the dynamics to an outsider. In those situations, instead of trying to untangle or describe, I just think to myself "I don't get it."

You could also use this phrase if someone tries to drag you into some kind of argument or fight. It is true- fights don't make much sense.

I am comforted by the phrase " the cat sat on the mat"

I don't know why, it's just so satisfying to say, but also so weird when I'm in pubblic and I just blurt it out.. the cat sat on the mat, people are like whaaa?. why are you saying that, what cat?

maybe it's because it's one of the first sentences I ever formed. reminds me of childhood

I am also comforted by the smell of ciggirette smoke. when I go somewhere and someone is smelling of smoke, I get distracted and turn to face them. I'm surprised no one's asked me.. what, do I smell? (well someone has asked me out if they smell, but she asked me that in relation to something else)

something else that makes me generally happy is going to the bathroom

it's just a good feeling to know that your body is doing what it should be doing

(trust me, it's not as weird as it sounds)

[Atypical_Disaster]

Originally Posted by shakespeare47

I've had a few times when people got really mad about me about my beliefs (way of thinking/arguments/etc.). I've been led to believe that it could the case that this is a compliment in disguise. If people really thought I was an idiot, then they would dismiss me. To tell me that they don't want to hear my beliefs and/or don't want me to tell others about my beliefs, then it follows they are actually taking me very seriously.

HAHAHAHAHA, you’re not wrong at all! This made my flipping week. I was explaining essentially this concept to someone who tried picking a fight with me over nothing I could discern not too long ago. It was a case of “he said, she said”, so ergo I did not care.

I dismissed what that individual was saying, as I had way better ways to waste my time on the internet that afternoon and that clearly they could not prove anything with hard evidence one way or the other. So, nothing of importance happened until proven otherwise with real evidence instead of vague accusations about nothing at all specific. This assessment, as you can imagine, caused the individual in question to become highly displeased. I told them to have a wonderful day and went about my weekend.

Admittedly I like my Schadenfreude so I looked later and saw that they lost it and said all kinds of off the wall things about me. Apparently I’m omnipotent these days. An unexpected ego stroke, but a funny one. Heh.

[shakespeare47]

I sometimes get down on myself and think of myself as a terrible person, and so I don't deserve X, Y, or Z- and the feeling is hard to shake. Another way to comfort myself is to remember that I am fallible- sometimes my judgments are just wrong. So, perhaps there is another way to view myself and whatever is troubling me, and perhaps I really do deserve X, Y, and Z