advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
Anonymous48813
Guest
Anonymous48813 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Question Sep 08, 2019 at 02:21 AM
  #1
Some one tell me is this narassim or some kind of personatily disoder.

So I broke my ankle from bouldering. On that night suddenly my mum says she has a sore lower back and went on about it the next day and didnt help me. My sister did to get to the toilet. My mum sat in her bedroom the whole day pretty much.
Today I did gave her one of my antiflamtory to help with her back, which she took but didnt take it because it felt ok at work..
But when she got home she was funny how I had to sat on the long sofa cause of my ankle and have to keep up. Cause that's her "seat". Like no can sit on her seat. Now she is going on about her having a "headache" and refuse to take painkillers cause she doesnt like swallowing tablets. She used a wheat bag on her neck even though she has never used a wheatbag!

Whata going on? It's like cause Ibhave attention because of my ankle she doesnt like it. So she has to make up these symptoms.
Is this part of narcissism.
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Mendingmysoul, seeker33
 
Thanks for this!
Atypical_Disaster

advertisement
seeker33
Poohbah
 
seeker33's Avatar
seeker33 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2017
Location: Europe
Posts: 1,417
5 yr Member
1,603 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Sep 08, 2019 at 02:41 AM
  #2
It's difficult to say if this is narcissism. We would have to know how she behaves in other situations.
Definitely, this isn't normal and she craves attention. Maybe she feels insecure or maybe she feels you don't pay enough attention to her, she feels lonely...
Is impossible to tell when we don't know your entire situation at home and history of your relationship.

__________________
Complex trauma
Highly sensitive person

I love nature, simplicity and minimalism
seeker33 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous48813
 
Thanks for this!
Atypical_Disaster
Anonymous48807
Guest
Anonymous48807 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Sep 08, 2019 at 02:51 AM
  #3
I guess there is more evidence of her behaviour over the years? It's not just happened now?
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous48813
 
Thanks for this!
Atypical_Disaster
Anonymous48813
Guest
Anonymous48813 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Sep 08, 2019 at 04:18 AM
  #4
Quote:
Originally Posted by seeker33 View Post
It's difficult to say if this is narcissism. We would have to know how she behaves in other situations.
Definitely, this isn't normal and she craves attention. Maybe she feels insecure or maybe she feels you don't pay enough attention to her, she feels lonely...
Is impossible to tell when we don't know your entire situation at home and history of your relationship.
Well her behaviour.
Is like this, when I was a kid she would get massively angry. I mean once she threw compture chair from upstairs.
I remember when she brought me a ice cream as a kid she would ask for a bite. I said "no" and then she would say "I'll will remember that, you won't have dinner tonight"
My dad cheated on her and my mum I think wanted a divorce..so they did.
I've spoken to my dad about my mum's behavior. When they were married or even before they were. She would get angry at my dad go to her bedroom and close the door. My dad was so upset he went for a 7K walk! When he came back she acted normal as if none thing happened..
I've experienced this. She would get mad at me say if I left a note book on the coffee table in the living room and then she be horrible to me. I would go outside and cry and then I would come back and she would act as if none thing happened.
There be no discussion or anything.
She use to call me "pig, selfish, ******" over stupid reasons such as say I wash my clothes and I wanted to put them in the dryer. She would want me to put them on the rack and I didnt want too and so she started calling me those names. If I cried she would call me names.
When I was little I was emotional neglected. When I would cired I was never comforted as a child. Hugged or asked what was wrong. When I was anxious and would pace walking up and down the hall way I was ignored.
She would say I'm a diffcult child when I was young. When really I suffer from anxiety and OCD.
I recalled as a young kid she would lock me in a bedroom. It must've been a long time cause I ended up panicking and thinking they left me alone in the house and they ended up in some car accident.

A couple years ago she held a knife to her chest because she was angry at her own mum for some reason.. she asked me and my sister if she should kill herself. It was very scary and still affects me to this day. My sister and I were frozen. She eventually put the knife in the draw and went to her bedroom.
She apologise to my sister but not me.

I remember when I was going through a hard in therapy and had a terrible therapist that made me whole lot worse. I had increase suicide thoughts, self harm it was really bad. Anyway, I went for a second shower because I was anxious thought it would calm me down. My mum started to put the kitchen tap on to make the shower cold. I ignored it because I didnt want to feed into her behaviour. Then suddenly the shower water stopped. I found out she talk my dad into turning off the water.
I was very upset and rang my therapist about this.

I eventually found out my sister rang my therapist and told them they were told the wrong story. Which wasnt true at all. But that's how influenced my sister was.

My mum once shouted outloud to herself you could hear her outside the house yelling to herself "you dont have a life anymore" over and over. It was very scary..

She would also when ever she buy new clothes has to show it to me, my sister, my partner, my sister's boyfriend her ex husband which is my dad when he comes.over and visits. To ask how does she look with her new shoes or clothes.

She very black and white thinking too. When she use to work for a manager at a libraby. One day after work her and the manager are great and then the next day the manager is all BAD!!!

She now a manager of a small libraby. She would tell me , my partner , my sister or her ex husband my dad. How bad work is. She told me how she cleaned up this office desk and one of the librarians, made mess of the desk and put there stuff there. How my mum thinks she did it by purpose and how she heard her moaning about her cleaning the desk. She told me how it makes her angry. And she is gonna talk to her about it..

She likes to get involved people business. Like she really dislikes my sister's boyfriend and how she should leave him etc. Talk bad about him to my sister and my sister joins in with it.

When I was young she believed Pokemon was evil and pokemon names were the devil names.
Cause she heard it in some Christian radio. She got rid of my pokemon toys cause of this.
How the 90's Sabrina Teenager Witch was evil! How this anime cartoon show Cardcaptors was evil!
I mean it brought a lot of fear in being brought up like this.
I just recently found this out but she told me the reason why she let my sister and I see our dad. Was because the Christian radio she listened to the same one saying about Pokemon is evil. That it's best for kids to see there dad to set an example. Then my mum said "it didnt work".

There many other examples. But she seems a very angry individual just explodes. Seeks validation from us from her kids. She said when Inwas age of 2 I would pat her hand and say "it's ok mum". When I was older I was trying to help mum but she told me to go away and she would cry and my sister would comfort her.

She also likes to blame people a lot. Even if say a perfume spray bottle in the toilet fell she has to find out who did it. Or how the bath mat should be place in a bathroom.
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
Atypical_Disaster, Mendingmysoul
Anonymous48807
Guest
Anonymous48807 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Sep 08, 2019 at 04:57 AM
  #5
What do you think then?
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
Atypical_Disaster
Anonymous48813
Guest
Anonymous48813 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Sep 08, 2019 at 06:18 AM
  #6
Quote:
Originally Posted by The mouse View Post
What do you think then?
Well that's why I'm asking
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
Atypical_Disaster
Anonymous48807
Guest
Anonymous48807 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Sep 08, 2019 at 06:23 AM
  #7
Quote:
Originally Posted by TeaFruit View Post
Well that's why I'm asking
But you'd have just as much Insight if not more than us?
Talk with your T
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
Atypical_Disaster
sarahsweets
Threadtastic Postaholic
 
sarahsweets's Avatar
sarahsweets has no updates.
 
Member Since: Dec 2018
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 6,006 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
192 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Sep 08, 2019 at 07:32 AM
  #8
Quote:
Originally Posted by seeker33 View Post
It's difficult to say if this is narcissism. We would have to know how she behaves in other situations.

Definitely, this isn't normal and she craves attention. Maybe she feels insecure or maybe she feels you don't pay enough attention to her, she feels lonely...

Is impossible to tell when we don't know your entire situation at home and history of your relationship.

How to identify a narcissist — and cope with their potentially toxic behavior

__________________
"I carried a watermelon?"

President of the no F's given society.
sarahsweets is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
Atypical_Disaster
seeker33
Poohbah
 
seeker33's Avatar
seeker33 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2017
Location: Europe
Posts: 1,417
5 yr Member
1,603 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Sep 08, 2019 at 11:15 AM
  #9
Deleted message

__________________
Complex trauma
Highly sensitive person

I love nature, simplicity and minimalism

Last edited by seeker33; Sep 08, 2019 at 11:43 AM..
seeker33 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Atypical_Disaster
Elder
 
Atypical_Disaster's Avatar
Atypical_Disaster has no updates.
 
Member Since: Mar 2011
Location: Nowhere noteworthy.
Posts: 7,142
10 yr Member
7,354 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Sep 08, 2019 at 12:04 PM
  #10
Hello,

I am a woman with diagnosed clinical Psychopathy. This is more commonly known as Antisocial Personality Disorder outside of criminal/forensic psychology and neuropsychology, I have that diagnosis too. That’s my personality disorder crap, I keep it in check around here and engage in “pro social” behavior here. This means I try to help people here, I don’t always succeed because I’m human (I am massively egocentric, but not foolish enough to not know that I am fallible), and due to my “condition” I inevitably have my limitations. I do try my best, however. This is beneficial behavior for me to practice, and hey I even enjoy this being nice and providing insight/occasional advice!

Your mother, regardless of the exact label, is a seriously nasty piece of work. You did not deserve to be treated like that.

I am absolutely not a professional, so anything I say about possible disorders she does or does not have are merely educated guesses on my part. I am not qualified to make any kind of diagnosis, I’m just a lady with psychopathy on the internet.

As someone else already observed, a lot of what you wrote about her does remind me of severe borderline personality disorder. It also reminds me of severe histrionic personality disorder, and narcissistic personality disorder (the malignant form of it would actually explain pretty much all of what you wrote) as well. She has a myriad of severe psychological problems, no matter what the exact labels are.

Regardless of what her problems are, literally none of this is your fault. As I said already, you did not deserve to be treated like this. Your mother treated you horrifically badly. No child deserves that, especially not from their own mother.
Atypical_Disaster is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
ConfusedBench, TishaBuv
unaluna
Elder Harridan x-hankster
 
unaluna's Avatar
unaluna Female luna moth - Please, dont @mention me?Thanks!
 
Member Since: Jun 2011
Location: Milan/Michigan
Posts: 39,751 (SuperPoster!)
10 yr Member
66k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Sep 08, 2019 at 12:18 PM
  #11
To answer the question, yes.

The problem with that is, mothers like that, who do not have enough love to give their daughter, may create a daughter who does not have enough love to give to others. Thats what happened to me.

The problem is, you might not realize it until its too late to live the life you wanted. To give and get the love you wanted. A way to fix that is with therapy, but its painful. Otherwise, you just have a painful life until you figure it out on your own.
unaluna is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous48813
 
Thanks for this!
Atypical_Disaster
Atypical_Disaster
Elder
 
Atypical_Disaster's Avatar
Atypical_Disaster has no updates.
 
Member Since: Mar 2011
Location: Nowhere noteworthy.
Posts: 7,142
10 yr Member
7,354 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Sep 08, 2019 at 12:46 PM
  #12
Quote:
Originally Posted by seeker33 View Post
Deleted message


Why did you delete your post? I thought what you said was very insightful. Differing perspectives are always a good thing.

Best to you this Sunday. tips hat
Atypical_Disaster is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
seeker33
Atypical_Disaster
Elder
 
Atypical_Disaster's Avatar
Atypical_Disaster has no updates.
 
Member Since: Mar 2011
Location: Nowhere noteworthy.
Posts: 7,142
10 yr Member
7,354 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Sep 08, 2019 at 12:57 PM
  #13
Quote:
Originally Posted by unaluna View Post
To answer the question, yes.


The problem with that is, mothers like that, who do not have enough love to give their daughter, may create a daughter who does not have enough love to give to others. Thats what happened to me.


The problem is, you might not realize it until its too late to live the life you wanted. To give and get the love you wanted. A way to fix that is with therapy, but its painful. Otherwise, you just have a painful life until you figure it out on your own.


Such a perversion of human nature, for a mother to destroy her child’s capacity for love which was once intact.

The loss of living the life you wanted, that I can identify with but for very different reasons. It is a loss, however the word “loss” is defined.

Pain is a part of life, again however “pain” is subjectively defined. It is different for everyone.

I had to figure out most things on my own, personally. That is getting the short end of the stick, isn’t it? You’re lied to, told that you’ll never have to do it all by yourself. It was all a lie, at least it was for me. Seems like it might have been for you, also.
Atypical_Disaster is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous48813, unaluna
 
Thanks for this!
unaluna
Anonymous48813
Guest
Anonymous48813 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Sep 08, 2019 at 03:10 PM
  #14
Quote:
Originally Posted by Atypical_Disaster View Post
Hello,

I am a woman with diagnosed clinical Psychopathy. This is more commonly known as Antisocial Personality Disorder outside of criminal/forensic psychology and neuropsychology, I have that diagnosis too. That’s my personality disorder crap, I keep it in check around here and engage in “pro social” behavior here. This means I try to help people here, I don’t always succeed because I’m human (I am massively egocentric, but not foolish enough to not know that I am fallible), and due to my “condition” I inevitably have my limitations. I do try my best, however. This is beneficial behavior for me to practice, and hey I even enjoy this being nice and providing insight/occasional advice!

Your mother, regardless of the exact label, is a seriously nasty piece of work. You did not deserve to be treated like that.

I am absolutely not a professional, so anything I say about possible disorders she does or does not have are merely educated guesses on my part. I am not qualified to make any kind of diagnosis, I’m just a lady with psychopathy on the internet.

As someone else already observed, a lot of what you wrote about her does remind me of severe borderline personality disorder. It also reminds me of severe histrionic personality disorder, and narcissistic personality disorder (the malignant form of it would actually explain pretty much all of what you wrote) as well. She has a myriad of severe psychological problems, no matter what the exact labels are.

Regardless of what her problems are, literally none of this is your fault. As I said already, you did not deserve to be treated like this. Your mother treated you horrifically badly. No child deserves that, especially not from their own mother.

Thank you, I really appreciate you taking your time to read my very long message and also taking your time to explain. Thankyou.

When you said borderline personatily disoder. I was like wow! Cause I was daignosed with that 3 years ago. I have traits of it. So not like fully BPD. But I have read how childern have BPD one of the parents would have it too.
So this is very interesting.
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
Atypical_Disaster
Anonymous48813
Guest
Anonymous48813 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Sep 08, 2019 at 03:11 PM
  #15
Quote:
Originally Posted by unaluna View Post
To answer the question, yes.

The problem with that is, mothers like that, who do not have enough love to give their daughter, may create a daughter who does not have enough love to give to others. Thats what happened to me.

The problem is, you might not realize it until its too late to live the life you wanted. To give and get the love you wanted. A way to fix that is with therapy, but its painful. Otherwise, you just have a painful life until you figure it out on your own.
Oh yeah I have been going therapy. But my therapist Linda stears awaybtalking aboutnitnornhpw tonset my boundaries.
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
Atypical_Disaster
Mendingmysoul
Grand Member
 
Mendingmysoul's Avatar
Mendingmysoul has no updates.
 
Member Since: Aug 2019
Location: Here
Posts: 907
3 yr Member
807 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Sep 08, 2019 at 04:10 PM
  #16
Teafruit,your mother exactly sounds like my mother.She never went for help,so it is not diagnosed by a professional. She was abusive ,MEAN sarcastic,bitter,full of rage,unreasonable, violent and constant attention seeker.Such mother's completely destroy their daughters.Whether the daughter's become the replica of such mother's or not,I am not sure.But I am sure of one thing......growing up in such a chaos makes our brains malfunction. Take help of a professional to treat your pain and try to get out from her as soon as possible.
Mendingmysoul is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous48813
stopdog
underdog is here
stopdog has no updates.
 
Member Since: Sep 2011
Location: blank
Posts: 34,702 (SuperPoster!)
10 yr Member
1 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Sep 08, 2019 at 05:27 PM
  #17
OP= are you a minor or an adult?

__________________
Please NO @

Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.
Oscar Wilde
Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.
stopdog is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
Atypical_Disaster, unaluna
Atypical_Disaster
Elder
 
Atypical_Disaster's Avatar
Atypical_Disaster has no updates.
 
Member Since: Mar 2011
Location: Nowhere noteworthy.
Posts: 7,142
10 yr Member
7,354 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Sep 08, 2019 at 05:46 PM
  #18
Quote:
Originally Posted by TeaFruit View Post
Thank you, I really appreciate you taking your time to read my very long message and also taking your time to explain. Thankyou.


When you said borderline personatily disoder. I was like wow! Cause I was daignosed with that 3 years ago. I have traits of it. So not like fully BPD. But I have read how childern have BPD one of the parents would have it too.

So this is very interesting.


You’re quite welcome.

The pattern throughout what you wrote about your mother did remind me of BPD, a particularly malignant form of it. Thankfully most people with BPD aren’t like your mother. It seems like your mother likely has more than one personality disorder going on, possibly histrionic or narcissistic.

I once knew a couple of women that had very severe personality dysfunctions. One of them in particular? When I was reading that post about your mother I thought of that woman, she was also an extremely nasty piece of work. She lost custody of her children because evidence surfaced later of all the horrible stuff she was doing.

It’s true that personality disorders tend to get passed down.

Psychopathy runs extremely heavily on both sides of my family, it’s little wonder I have the condition myself.

Personality disorders are on a spectrum too, it sounds to me that regardless, you’re not a terrible person. Just badly wounded. Which is completely understandable. Having that woman for a mother? No wonder.
Atypical_Disaster is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
TishaBuv
Legendary
TishaBuv It’s mostly them, and somewhat me.
 
Member Since: Dec 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 10,122 (SuperPoster!)
8 yr Member
1,857 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Sep 08, 2019 at 07:06 PM
  #19
None of us can diagnose her here. We are just peers. Your mother has done some seriously abusive behavior. Some of it, my mother did, too. Though, my mother was not too extreme and has also been mostly good (thankfully for me). The story about the knife and ‘should she kill herself?’ Was way over the top abusive. I’m sorry you experience this.

Read articles on PC about all the toxic behaviors and personality disorders, also what healthy relationships should be. You sound like in spite of it all, you have it together.

__________________
"And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!"
. About Me--T
TishaBuv is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
Atypical_Disaster
Anonymous48813
Guest
Anonymous48813 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Sep 08, 2019 at 08:09 PM
  #20
Quote:
Originally Posted by stopdog View Post
OP= are you a minor or an adult?


I'm an adult. I'm 28. I lost a job 4 years ago. I was working a tthe library with my mum.. well I lost my job due to discrimination and my mum making me go to the manger say for me to stay as a shelter not librarian assistant. I have been working in my mental health for 4 years. So I dont have money to move out accept the small amount the goverment gives to the mental health people. My partner is between jobs trying to get his career off the ground so he can earn more money.
We've been together for 10 years.
Yeah situation I'm in sucks.
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
Atypical_Disaster
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 05:56 PM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.