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Old 06-08-2021, 07:04 PM   #1
Wolftrucker
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Default Dealing with an unstable person intent on destroying people

Hello.

I am a male with a history of depression/social anxiety. When the COVID lockdown occurred in my region 3 weeks before Christmas, I joined a live streaming site for the first time ever. One week before Christmas, I really clicked with a female streamer, who had a really good vibe, and was intelligent and very interactive. I began to follow her stream on a daliy basis, as she would stream in the evening for 60 min-2 hours 5 days a week.

Fast forward to March. A women that the streamer had befriended had become a regular as well. However, I was very weary of this streamer for a variety of reasons. Lets just call her "A". She seemed to thrive on conflict. She told lies, was condescending, belittled people, and would often be manipulative and attempt character assassination on others.

The first victim was a 43 year old US military veteran. He did absolutely nothing to earn her scorn, but had his issues. All he was guilty of is being stubborn, and "not reading the room" There is a "guest box" where followers can request access, and have a couple of minutes to interact with the streamer. A had decided it would be a fun idea to spread malicious lies about the veteran, and convinced others that he lied about his military service, and was actually an ex-convict, who was out on parole. It was of course, false, but it really made me uneasy that someone could stoop to that level.

The streamer I follow is biracial, and unfortunately she had trolls that would say racist thing to her on occasion. "A" took this opportunity to convince the streamer in question that it was a different male streamer that was behind it, sending his followers to harass her. This of course, was with no evidence. However, "A" convinced the streamer and their followers that she had done an "IP check" and it matched the accused. I later asked a technician about this, and he did not hesitate to say that it was very difficult if not impossible. This became the M.O. of "A" to tell lies, such as "I have screenshots, video, IP#, etc" to attempt to intimidate her target, when she was bluffing.

My issue with her, is that she fancied me beginning in April. She was streaming herself, and kept inviting me to her stream. I was wary, but politely accepted. She would treat me like a king, and even at one point asked if I would ever consider visiting her state to meet personally, and even stay with her. I dragged my feet, and said "well see how this COVID thing plays out (in reality I had no interest in her since I was so reulsed at how she would get satisfaction out of bullying and harassing others).

IThis led to a fallout with the streamer I initially followed, as problems were developing in the stream, and some people were wising up to the fact that A was a bully. By this time the streamer herself had taken a backseat to A, and it was if she was intimidated of her, and refused to ring her in. So I quit her stream, and left. A would message me, inviting me, and even talk about how great it would be to have me at her place in another state.

From this point on, I started to ignore her. I have never cared for bullies, and now that I did not go to main favorite streamers room, I felt no need to continue having any type of dialogue with A. This was a grave mistake as she turned on me.

I gave streaming a try myself for a few weeks. A would always come in, and be super interested. However on this particular date, she started interrogating me about my relationship with my children, ask inappropriate things about my oldest daughter (name, school attended, city resided, what post secondary institution she planned to go to, and what dates she would attend and what her major was). By the tone and interrogation tactics (I felt like I was being cross examoned), it was obvious this may have been a doxxing attempt on my child. I don't mind if one were to try and doxx me, but why bring my family into it.

For the next month, it was a nightmare. "A" would follow me from streaming room to room, asking personal questions about me, and trying to ruin my life. Her actions were as follows (but not limited to):

-telling her inner circle to harass me
-asking dozens of people for screenshots of private conversations I may ahve had)
-telling others I am a "deadbeat and alcoholic"
-going after my child twice more
-stating that she wished me death
-trying to convince other streamers that I was a "violent and unstable man, who would stalk and terrorize women"

In nearly 25 years of being on the internet, I have never experience this level of harassment and intimidation. At first I got into arguments with her, but she seemed to enjoy unsettling me immensely. Luckily nearly every streamer she had contacted had stated they had zero problems with me, and wondered why this person was going around seeking info on me.

Unfortunately in the streaming environment, there was only one streamer who I found similar to "A" agreed to send her private screenshots of our correspondence. I never no idea how she managed to convince my one time friend to do this, but it felt like a great betrayal. This caused us to stop communicating. Our mutual friend confronted her on what she had done, and she was caught in numerous lies, and ended her stream.

The streaming world is quite bizarre, and I am wondering what is wrong with "A" as she continues to show up to streams I partake in, although her harassment has died down, most likely due to too many people growing skeptical of "A" and her motivations.

It seems that "A" a 35 year old women with 3 children, and whose life revolves around the streaming community, only targets men, and none of them are involved with her. She also takes great pleasure out of hurting people, and seemingly wants to destroy her targets, and often manipulates, lies, and intimidates others to go along, or to prevent them from speaking out.

I've tried to figure out how to best deal with "A" but I have no idea how. I also am not sure what her issues are...whether they be a unhealthy fixation with destroying men dating back to childhood trauma, or she may just be either narcissistic or even sociopathic. If anyone here can give me advice on how to deal with "A" if she tries to continue to torment me, it would be greatly appreciated. It's affected my mental health (depressed), and ultimately my self esteem, and my trust in people in general.

Thanks.
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Old 06-09-2021, 02:32 PM   #2
Skeezyks
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Smile Re: Dealing with an unstable person intent on destroying people

I don't have anything useful to offer with regard to this. (I know absolutely nothing about "streaming".) But I noticed you had yet to receive a reply. So I thought I would at least let you know I read your post & wish you the best with figuring this out. The one thing I think I can say is that you can't change this person. Nor can you ever really know what's going on in her head. So, at least from my perspective, the best thing to do is to do whatever is necessary to discontinue any-and-all contact with her once and for all. Hopefully other MSF members may have more useful suggestions to offer. Best wishes...
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Old 06-09-2021, 09:13 PM   #3
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I agree with Skeezyks to end contact with her and stop being around her. Is there a way you can block her in streaming? Is this still something you enjoy? (Streaming) if not, then maybe consider 1.) Closing your account there or 2.) Going somewhere else to stream. Somewhere where she is not.

I'm sorry you're going through this with her. She sounds very immature.

My last suggestion, would be: take care of your mental health. Find ways to build it back up. Do things you enjoy. When you do, you may find a new perspective on A. Like that she is pretty pathetic and that you may feel like you made a mistake in dropping her, but its your choice. She sounds very unhealthy and harmful. Who wants to be around that? You did what was right for you.
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Old 06-09-2021, 09:36 PM   #4
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Ps: I'm thinking she is doing this because she feels rejected by you. Its completely not ok of her and very immature. Just know that even though she had been trying to tear you down, you have the upper hand, hence why she's trying to tear you down. Try not to show her how upset it makes you. It will only egg her on.
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