[kaptennn]

Hey, guys. How are you? I hope you feel fine and happy.

Actually I have some questions and need your opinions. Main question will be, am I an evil person who tried to be nice or am I an actually nice person like I always want to be? Do you think I have personality disorder? Or this is just... you know...teen problems looking for their true self?

I have some problems with my own thoughts. Like there's always a girl, inside my head making comments about everything I do, or think. When I contribute in charity, the girl in my head will make a very bad comment like 'oh, you're just doing it just because you wanted other people to see how nice you are. You're just looking for face. You wanted to be praised.' And it makes me feel bad, so much. There are time when I prayed for a little boy who struggles with his life, the girl commented again. "Stop it. You're just trying to seek face to God, right? You think you can make God do everything you whises just because you pray for other people and not thinking about yourself." So I stopped, and had to think about my puprose again. I don't know who am I. I don't know do I being myself or I AM the girl that 'other me' keep commenting. There are lots of time when I actually believed the other me.

There are time when I feel pretty and confidence about myself, my looks, but in a minute it could change into disaster and I feel like I'm the most hideous person ever. I feel confidence that people like me, wanting me to be their friends, but in a short time, I feel like I'm the most unwanted person ever alive, nobody loves me, I hate my self and I should've just disappear into the thin air without making any problems for others.

Am I a confident person? What do you think about me? Who am I ?My friend said I had to see psychiatrist, but in my small town, we don't have any psychiatrist here

Sirius Black (J.K Rowling) pretty much saved me alot though. By the quote,"'We've all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That's who we really are."

But what if I acted kind and nice but my intentions are just...evil?
Thank you for reading such a long post. Sorry if I'm being overreacting.

[monkeybrains21]

No worries no need to apologize. Can't diagnose here. Even I can't diagnose u heck I can't even diagnose me but I know what ur going through. U r not alone. I don't know what it is since I'm undiagnosed. I don't think ur evil or mean, I think everyone has at least one other person inside of them. Ppl will argue and so no, but really? What do these ppl think their conscience is? Just a voice in their head? Is this any different than u or I? Y? Is it because ours spews the bad and not supposed good?

Now just because u have no psychiatrist around that's ok, u can also look for a psychologist or a social worker. They could be of help too. Psychiatrists I believe are more for if u need medication.