[Locust]

There is something wrong with me, and I can't put my finger on what it is. Often, I will sacrifice long term gain for short term EVEN WHEN I much prefer the type of long term gain. For example, if something comes up at someone wants me to go running around with them, but I have to do something for a class and it's an important grade, even if I could run around any night of the week, I don't mind (and might even enjoy) the class assignment, and really would rather have a good grade at the end of class than go out on this particular night to some place I could see any old day- 8 times out of 10, I'll go, but I curse myself before the consequences even set in because I know full well how badly I've messed myself up.

Also, another example would be this- I like to stay up late, so I'm tired in the mornings. Now, as much as we all like sleep, I know I'd much rather get up tired and work through it (gets easier in the next 30 minutes after waking anyway) than to fail classes or get fired from work, etc., but I will lay right there. It's like, at that moment, even though the grade, the class, or the work and money are more important to me, and I will curse myself later and not understand, at that moment, I am just- just apathetic, I guess.

The messed up thing is, in many ways I take issue with people who are currently putting long term consequences on the entire planet for the short term benefit of some people. But yet, in many ways I often choose instant gratification in my own life even though it's not nearly as good as what I'd have long term. I know it's illogical and I don't even know why I do it.

Also, if I mess up, I throw the whole thing away. I avoid even trying to fix it. Am I self sabatoging? Why do I choose instant gratification even if it is far less pleasurable than the long term gain would be? Am I avoidant? Am I too impulsive? Is this part of a personality disorder?

Thanks for the advice.

[Rhombus]

Are you sure you're not me?

I'm very impulsive in this way, for example, almost every night I say I'll go to bed on time, but once that impulse to stay up longer hits, I feel powerless against it. I am physsically capable of going to sleep quite easily at a reasonable time, but I can't say no. I KNOW I'll feel like crap in the morning, I know I won't be able to concentrate all day, I know I will feel like a zombie.

Logic really just doesn't work. I am intellectually capable of knowing what's good for me, but I can't help myself it seems.

[Locust]

Originally Posted by Rhombus

Are you sure you're not me?

I'm starting to entertain the possibility! lol.

Originally Posted by Rhombus

Logic really just doesn't work. I am intellectually capable of knowing what's good for me, but I can't help myself it seems.

That's it exactly! It doesn't make any sense does it? We know what's best, we always regret it when we don't do it, but we rarely seem to ever make the best choice! Do you have any idea why you do this?

By the way, I noticed you left chat earlier when I was there. I'd have said hello, but I didn't see you there until I noticed you signed out. Anyway, thanks for this reply!

~Locust

[Mouse_]

Originally Posted by Locust

There is something wrong with me, and I can't put my finger on what it is. Often, I will sacrifice long term gain for short term EVEN WHEN I much prefer the type of long term gain. For example, if something comes up at someone wants me to go running around with them, but I have to do something for a class and it's an important grade, even if I could run around any night of the week, I don't mind (and might even enjoy) the class assignment, and really would rather have a good grade at the end of class than go out on this particular night to some place I could see any old day- 8 times out of 10, I'll go, but I curse myself before the consequences even set in because I know full well how badly I've messed myself up.

Also, another example would be this- I like to stay up late, so I'm tired in the mornings. Now, as much as we all like sleep, I know I'd much rather get up tired and work through it (gets easier in the next 30 minutes after waking anyway) than to fail classes or get fired from work, etc., but I will lay right there. It's like, at that moment, even though the grade, the class, or the work and money are more important to me, and I will curse myself later and not understand, at that moment, I am just- just apathetic, I guess.

The messed up thing is, in many ways I take issue with people who are currently putting long term consequences on the entire planet for the short term benefit of some people. But yet, in many ways I often choose instant gratification in my own life even though it's not nearly as good as what I'd have long term. I know it's illogical and I don't even know why I do it.

Also, if I mess up, I throw the whole thing away. I avoid even trying to fix it. Am I self sabatoging? Why do I choose instant gratification even if it is far less pleasurable than the long term gain would be? Am I avoidant? Am I too impulsive? Is this part of a personality disorder?

Thanks for the advice.

Sounds like a young child that wants that "instant gratification"...I was and can still be like this...I want it and I want it now...theres a kind of fear attached to it...like perhaps if we take the responsible approach we may miss out on something? still thinking our needs can only be met from outside of us, not sure exactly where but we feel if we play hard enought it;ll come to us...instead of doing what needs to be done and waiting for the rewards afterwards?