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#1
Nov 12, 2008, 12:02 AM
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why is everything good or bad? right or wrong? why is there no comprimise, no middle ground. its either my way or else. just driving me nuts. how do you comprimise without feeling like you just lost? sorry if im not making sense. im tired of hurting the people around me. communication is very difficult for me. im sure it is for them too, when it comes to communicating with me. nobody will say anyhing but im sure its a problem.
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#2
Nov 12, 2008, 01:15 AM
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Chrise,
I have all those same problems. I think it has to do with being invalidated so much that now we feel compelled to fight for what we perceive and defend it, because that was waht was taken away from us that made us the way we are. Backing down feels like it would destroy us. And it never seems to feel like people can understand.
__________________
“We should always pray for help, but we should always listen for inspiration and impression to proceed in ways different from those we may have thought of.” – John H. Groberg 
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#3
Nov 12, 2008, 10:41 AM
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Apparently I do the idealization-devaluation thing. I put ppl up on pedestals and when the person disappoints me, I devalue them and take the off directly. So yea I have no idea borderlines do the whole black/white thing ... some kind of defense mechanism maybe.
__________________
"Kids in the dark cause accidents, accidents in the dark cause kids." |
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#4
Nov 12, 2008, 11:04 AM
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Quote:
I just looked up some stuff and read that splitting is a defense mechanism to avoid anxiety. I also read that it is related to shame and also dissociation. Does this fit with your experience?
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#6
Nov 12, 2008, 11:12 AM
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So did something happen with your family to make you write this thread?
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#7
Nov 12, 2008, 11:16 AM
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well, i did tell my husband last night. and it was a very quick little conversation.i cant stop thinking. and i have been looking at everything. maybe too much. all of the old patterns are there. ive just been able to notice them again. although they have probably been there longer than i think. i dont want this anymore. my kids dont deserve this.
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#8
Nov 12, 2008, 11:21 AM
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Do you want to tell me exactly what happened? Maybe with private messaging?
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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