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New Member
Member Since Mar 2005
Posts: 5
19 |
#1
Hey i'm a newbie. I'm a uni student aged 19.
I've had this weird problem in the past particularly between the ages of about 11 and 15 and it kinda came back. I'm a generally well-balanced person except for this urge i have to touch peoples necks. It's not intentional and i can't think why. Urge seems such a strong word for it. I certainly don't want to hurt people when i do. I just sorta like doing it. It's really only a problem because it's just a strange behaviour and doesn't appear natural. I used to touch people's necks on purpose when i hugged them and my family kinda noticed and made me realise i was doing it too often for it to be normal and so i stopped. but recently i've got basically my first very close boyfriend who i'm very happy with and i've started touching his neck. I dont hurt him or anything but for instance when he puts his arm around my waist, instead of resting my hand on his shoulder i'll rest it on his neck. I feel really bizarre about this; i don't have any linked emotions to it i just apear to like the feel of people's necks. ANY IDEAS AT ALL would be welcome as i've searched hi and low online and in libraries and found nothing of the sort! It doesn't worry me but upsets me as it's a habit i thought i'd grown out of and now it appears to be back bigtime. I just want to resolve it so i don't do it any more. I sound psychotic or something but i'm really a normal person besides this and it's not noticeable; my bf hasn't even noticed. Please help? |
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Veteran Member
Member Since Sep 2004
Location: US
Posts: 495
20 |
#2
Just my opinion for what ever it's worth. If you are only doing it with your boyfriend and he has no problem with it I don't see wherer there is a problem. Doing it with others could be a problem if they were stating it as a problem. Boundaries would be the main concern I think and it doesn't seem that you are crossing any with your boyfriend.
larks |
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New Member
Member Since Mar 2005
Posts: 5
19 |
#3
thanks for your help. what concerns me most is that it upsets me that i do it but i can't stop the urge to =/
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Elder
Member Since Mar 2004
Location: Running on the wheel
Posts: 5,681
20 |
#4
Perhaps you just find the shape of people's necks attractive, no matter who tehy are? just like who some people find all people's eyes attractive.
__________________ That's why it's such a serious thing to ask a Centaur to stay for the weekend. A very serious thing indeed. - The Silver Chair |
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Veteran Member
Member Since Feb 2005
Posts: 472
19 164 hugs
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#5
It's not the worst thing, so don't feel too bad. ^_^ At least you're intentions are harmless. If it's causing you stress and you don't like it, go to talk to someone. Is there anyway you can gradually cut down the amount of times you touch someone's neck and find a distraction to take the place or something? If it bothers you, do get help.
I think it sounds kinda cute and quirky to be affectionate like that to your boy friend. ^_^ (Don't call yourself weird) __________________ “For one moment we are not failed tests and broken condoms and cheating on essays; we are crayons and lunch boxes and swinging so high our sneakers punch holes in the clouds.” --- Wintergirls |
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New Member
Member Since Mar 2005
Posts: 5
19 |
#6
Thanks that's really reassuring.
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Member
Member Since Apr 2005
Location: Canada
Posts: 37
19 |
#7
It sounds like a fetish to me. Some people are obsessed with feet of legs. I'm a neck person myself. I don't go out of my way to touch people though but two each is his own. I wouldn't read to much into this. I think maybe the way you were addressed about this as a child has triggered it even more than it should of. We all have certain quirks about us. It doesn't mean we have to go analyzing ourselves to death.
My answer? Neck fetish. Nothing wrong with that. __________________ A Mind Interrupted |
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Member
Member Since Dec 2004
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 50
19 |
#8
Personally i think it is a obsessive compulsive problem. I get urges to kiss people and it dosnt matter who it is and i try and fight it. Sometimes the more i try and resist the stronger the urge gets. Things like urges to kiss people or touch peoples necks in your case are refered to as obsessions. My obsession has become less and less over time (possibly due to my medication or psychotherapy) maybe afew sessions with a psychologist would help you find some ways to overcome your problem. Psychologists are not like Psychiatrists. Psychologists know about alot of techniques which they can tell you to overcome anxiety or obsessive compulsive problems so dont be scared about seeing one. I know in australia it costs $50 AU per session with a psychologist and the sessions go for around 45 minutes. Could be something you might want to consider as i believe it helped me out alot.
Roy. Also i forgot to mention that another difference between a psychiatrist and psychologist is that psychologists dont hand out medication like psychiatrists do. A psychologist is only trained in therapy techniques and can not hand out medication. So u dont have to worry about them trying to put u on any meds. |
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Junior Member
Member Since Feb 2006
Posts: 11
18 |
#9
I dont' see any problems with it. I have an aunt who loves to touch people's elbows when she talks to them. To her it's not only a way to get their undivided attention but also as a form of affection. As long as the other party don't feel uncomfortable with it it's fine. At least I don't have a problem with it
Our family members however have a problem with another aunt who makes really violent gestures with her hands when she talks... esp when she gets too animated or excited. It's a little scary cuz she will raise her voice and sometimes it gets a little intimidating and you're afraid that her hand movements will hit you. Of course we know she don't mean any harm as she's a lovely lady but it gets a little off putting at times. Natual instinct to defend __________________ =============== "The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good." "To handle yourself, use your head; to handle others, use your heart." |
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Member
Member Since Dec 2005
Posts: 140
18 |
#10
Only thing that i can suggest is to buy one of those stress toys and if the craving comes around... to squeeze it.... squeeze it until the cravings ends.
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