[googley]

This is kindof long. . . In a couple of weeks (so I have plenty of time to get nice and nervous) I will be having endoscopies. This will be the most invasive procedure I will have ever had. I am worried about freaking out. I can hardly deal with a basic physical exam. When I met the specialist I was supposed to go over all of my medical issues. I forgot to mention my seasonal allergies. I mentioned my depression, but thinking I was just going to talk to the doctor because I was there for a consult (don't know where I got this idea?) I didn't mention my PTSD. Now I think it might come up as an issue as I can't deal with people touching me. I don't have any appointments before the procedure. After the physical exam and when she told me that I was going to have to do this, I was slightly out of it from being examined and didn't think of brining it up as I could barely deal with the information she was giving me. What do I do now? I know they are going to be giving me some sort of seditive to knock me out partly, but I don't know what that is going to do to my anxiety or how much I am going to be able to control my usualy jumpiness. Any advice?

[eskielover]

When I went through the endoscopie, they knocked me completely out so I wasn't aware of anything at all.....it was over....I was awake & never knew I had anything done execept I was laying in the recovery room.

You might call the Dr's office that is doing the procedure & have the Dr call you back so you can tell them your concerns. I know it is better to have it all out in the open so there aren't any surprises....While you are talking to them, you might ask for more details of what you will be going through & if they put you out completely & what they do while you are out......our fear is of the unknown......the less we leave unknown, the less the fear.....even though there will always be some whenever we go through procedures like that...it is normal to have some fear.....but try to get the information you feel you need from the Dr by calling & asking for a return call.....at least it can help a little

Debbie

[phoenix7]

I had one and they knocked me out too - they can do it under a local anaesthetic - but I would definately ring and ask if you will be out of it - less to worry about - take care P7

[deliquesce]

they knocked me out for mine completely. the only thing i remember is the dr saying he was going to give me something to relax me, and the next thing a nurse was waking me up a few hours later telling me i had to eat.

i was really, really, reallllly anxious about the procedure - i even put it off for 9 months (even though the docs suspected i had cancer - i'm an idiot, right?). but the procedure itself was fine.

what they did for me:
- a nurse ran through my medical history again, and i mentioned some allergies i had, so she wrote them on of of those arm band thingies and put it around my wrist
- then they got me to undress and get into a hospital gown. they gave me a private room to do this.
- then i got into a bed, and after a long wait (there were a few of us needing to get the procedure done) they wheeled me in to the theatre
- the anaesthetist tapped my hand a few times and got a needle in to the back of my hand.
- then the doc introduced himself again, and said he was going to give me something to relax me, and that i needed to count backwards. but as soon as he put it in i must've been out, because i honestly just remember falling asleep. it was awesome! wish i could sleep like that every night .

essentially - you've been through the worst of it (the consultation, and the attending physical). now you just get to doze for a little while, and after they've run their tests, they'll let you know how it went.

hope this helps somewhat, googley.

I had to opt out of a test my PCP wanted me to have. I met with the specialist and told her I have some serious issues due to abuse. She was not receptive, brushed it aside, and said "Don't worry, you'll be knocked out via injection and won't even know what's going on." I responded, "THAT IS THE BIGGEST PROBLEM."

She hurried off and sent her nurse in to explain everything.
I told them I'd call to set up an appoinment knowing I wouldn't be back.

I find some professionals can be very cold and clinical and not care about people's emotions or the reasons behind them. Some are very much into themselves.

I hope you can rise above it better than I did.

Keep us posted.

[googley]

Thanks everyone for your support. There is a nurses line I can call with questions. I think I am going to call them and find out exactly what to expect and how out of it I will be. While they say I won't remember it, I don't know how much that helps as it is more of my reactions during it that I am worried about. I know I am going to talk to my T about it.

Orange_Blossom, the specialist seems really sensitive to emotional stuff. My PCP especially referred her to one she knew was good after I got freaked out during her physical exam. It is mostly that I don't really know the doctor at all since I've only seen her once. It has been hard to deal with since my last doctor freaked out when I disclosed my history.

Thank you all for the support. It doesn't happen until the 28th so I still have some time to wait.

[deliquesce]

^ yes, yes, yes. i *totally* understand not knowing the person enough. when i had my "issue", i knew it was going to involve a physical. and i decided i wanted a female to do it, but i was seeing a male GP. so my pdoc told me about a female GP who he thought was good, but i still had to suss her out. so i kept making up excuses to see her until i was finally able to bring up the real problem.

pdoc also referred me to the surgeon who was doing my procedure, because he knew the surgeon was sensitive and sensible about my sort of insecurities. he was the one who suggested going under a full anasthetic, because i was really scared about how i would cope if it was just a local where i was groggy but awake. that helped a lot to quell my fears. i was really worried that if i was half awake that i would make a fool of myself/react really badly when i realised i wasnt in complete control of my surroundings.

i'd encourage you to call that nurses line and have a chat with them. maybe have a chat with the doc who will perform the procedure, too. i don't know what type of endoscopy you're having, but i guess either way it's a pretty sensitive procedure, so she should be able to help quell your fears.

[multipixie9]

Hi, Googley, I know you don't know me but I have done endoscopy exams before and wanted to speak up about it too.I think it is a good idea to be filled in on what to expect and to be sure you know what is happening and be sure you feel safe with the medical professionals working with you on this.

In my past I've had to have both an endoscopy and colonoscopy at the same time (o joy!). There is more "unpleasantness" involved in getting ready for the procedure, at least for a colonoscopy. Once I was sedated and unconscious I remembered nothing else until I woke after it was over.

It must be important for you to do this test or it would not be set up for you to do it, so talking to yourself about why you are doing this and how you are taking good care of yourself may help you with the reluctance to do it.

I would at least be sure that the medical people know you have some issues with being touched. It will help them help you better and may prevent you from freaking out at the doctor. I had to be examined by my regular doc recently due to a problem i was having and when the nurse came in with the dumb paper gown I burst into tears. BUT, unlike in the past, I just let myself cry and surprisingly I was past it in a short time and was able to be composed while doc examined me. And afterward I congratulated myself FOR crying instead of fussing at myself for having feelings.

Thorough communication helps everyone involved. I hope all goes very smoothly for you! I discovered that some anti-inflammatory medicine I had been taking was eroding the lining of my stomach and intestines. So, I can say the tests were necessary and once I knew what the problem was, I stopped taking the medicine and my body settled down and healed up. My only wish was that I had had the endoscopic procedures done sooner instead of having 9 months of gastric chaos first!

Leslie

[phoenix7]

Have you had your test yet?

[googley]

I don't have my test until Thursday the 28th. A little over a week left for me to get nice and nervous (more so). But everyone I have talked to on life and IRL seems to say it shouldn't be too bad. Hopefully I will be able to get myself to call the help line in the next few days (putting it off seems to allow me to try and convince myself that it wont actually happen.Denial is my friend.

[deliquesce]

denial can be great, can't it?!

good luck with the test, sweetie. i know how scary it can look from where you are now, but as someone who's also gone through it (mmm gastroscopy & colonoscopy at once, fun fun) i can honestly say it's not worth the effort of being troubled over.

the worst part for me was the dr's physical beforehand (which you've already gone through).

just stopping by to give you some cuddles .

[phoenix7]

Hope you get to call the helpline - keep us in the loop

[googley]

Thank you all for your support.

I made the call to the information line today. They went through the procedure from when I check in to when I leave. It helped to know what will happen. I have been able to relax about it some. I think the relaxing will last until at least (hopefully) Tuesday. I have T on Tuesday and Wednesday (usually Thursday) so I see myself going over it with my T one of those days.

Thanks again for helping me get through this!

[phoenix7]

glad you got some info - hope it goes well

[googley]

Hello,
I want to thank everyone who helped me get through my endoscopies. I was really worried. It ended up being that the preparation I had to do at home was the worst part of it. They put me on so much drugs when I went for the procedure that I was really out of it and couldn't get freaked out. I wont know results for at least another week, but I survived the experience.

[deliquesce]

good work, googley!!!!! such a relief to get it over with, hey?

i will keep my fingers crossed for you that the results can set your mind at ease .

[googley]

Hi again everyone,

Thank you all for your support! I finally got my test results back. They were positive for Celiac Disease. A disease that makes it so you can't eat gluten which is found in wheat, rye, barley, and often (because of processing) in oats, along with a bunch of ingredients that don't actually tell you that its in it. While I knew this was a distinct possibility as a result of the tests, it is a whole different thing to be knocked out of my denial and actually have to face reality. I didn't really understand what it would mean and I learn a little more each day.

Thanks again.

[deliquesce]

oh no!!! poor googley .

i got tested for coeliac last year, so i understand a *tiny* bit of what you are going through. my doc made me go 100% gluten free for a few months, it was very difficult learning to adjust (especially when i practically live off wheat).

thankfully my results came back negative for coeliac, but i'm sorry that wasn't the case for you. the good thing is that you know what you are dealing with now, and that is important, because i am sure as you would know coeliac isn't something to be taken lightly.

one thing i found very helpful when i was trying to go gluten free was being referred to a dietician. she was able to tell me all the different stuff i could eat, and also pointed me in the direction of places to buy food from. it became a lot easier after i could go to certain shops that only sold GF foods, because that way i didn't need to stress so much about reading ingredients etc.

[phoenix7]

the dietician sounds like a great idea - take care P7

[googley]

Deli and Phoenix7 I did get a referral to a dietitian. I will have that appointment on the 14th (and an appointment with my PCP on the 6th). I hope that they will be able to answer a lot of my questions and help me find the right food to eat. I knew this would probably be the result of the tests, but knowing that and actually getting the results is different, especially with finally seeing the drastic changes that are required. I think I will have to grieve for what I have lost.

[Pikku Myy]

Hi... I freaked out a week ago totally and completely 30 min's before by diagnostic mammo exam. I had to call my T and have her talk me into getting into the car... taking three more happy pills... and was still totally freaking out at the hospital. This after two weeks of complete/absolute panic and anxiety of being alone. I had one of the c scans done several years ago... and they do put you into a mild sedatation mode. You will not even know what happened.... until you start waking up Good luck... my follow up is on July 30... so we can both anx together.

[deliquesce]

good luck with your follow up, karoliinareddish. i hope all goes well .

googley - yes, i think grieving is a common reaction. i am currently on some meds which don't allow me to eat very much (am pretty limited to just plain meat and boiled veggies, yuck). sometimes i still get sad that i am missing out on all these great foods. one thing that really helped me though was that i told all my friends, and i set a date from when i was going to go on the restricted diet. so in the lead up to that day, they all educated themselves on my new diet, and we threw around all the great things i would be missing out on. and on the day before, we had a big party where we went and gorged on everything i could no longer eat. it was a lot of fun (we ate for hours) and i'm so glad i did it. i dont know why, but it has really helped me accept the new food restrictions.