[AShadow721]

I have this memory and all I can remember is being over at my father's friend's house. I remember how the house was laid out. The daughter's room was in the back on the right of the house, but on the left of the hallway. The bathroom was on the right of the hallway, but much closer to the living room..... I don't know who this man was and I don't think I really knew him. (My father was a drug addict and would take us over to his friends' houses so he could do drugs with them) I don't even know if my father was there. I don't even know if my sister was there...... I have some memory of being in my father's friend's daughter's room trying to sleep...I believe my sister was in there as well....but I'm not sure. Then I remember running into the bathroom with the daughter. We were afraid, running as if for our lives. Running into the bathroom away from her father (and possibly mine as well) and she locked the door. I remember sitting on the toilet with the girl sideways. Her father was banging on the door, yelling, and cursing. I think he may have openned the door in the end.....That's all I can remember.

For a long time I would go into the bathrooms at my mother's condo and lock the doors. It was the only place in the two homes that I could lock a door. I thought that's why I did it, because my father wouldn't even let us close the doors at his house, but maybe it had something to do with this? My mother would always freak out when I did this and she would call my father to come open the door with a screw driver. This made me really angry and afraid that I had no where to hide. It took me a long time to realize that she just scared that she couldn't get to me. I would be scared as well if my son locked himself in a room and I couldn't get him out.

[AShadow721]

I think this girl was younger than me, but I looked to her as more mature and wiser, one that was higher in power to me. I looked to many younger children in this way when I was a child. (Mostly ones that were outspoken) I think this may have been the first time I realized that SA was wrong and something I should run away from, but of course I never could....

When we were in the bathroom, I think my sister may have been sitting on the tub...it could have been the girl's younger sister or it could have been both of them. I'm not sure...I just remember thinking it was odd the way the daughter sat on the toilet and told me to do the same. This may have happened right before I began with the hand washing and rolling around on the floor, fretting, which scared my mother and made her decide to take me to my first T outside of school. I was about 8 then, but I'm not sure how old I was when this incident happened.

I don't know if these memories are related to this or if these were the same people. I remember one of the families we visited had very small kittens. At this place my father gave me beer to drink.

I remember watching Jurassic Park, it had just came out, and I thought it was scary and I didn't want to watch it. I remember playing in the hallway with all the daughter's toys. I remember the father sending one of the daughter's to her room for "acting out" & he was very mean, she didn't deserve to be punished. My sister and I went with her. (This was for sure the same place.)

I also remember looking into the room of a teenage daughter who was listening to music and had posters on her ceiling. I wondered how she got them up there.

[Perna]

Sounds like you have several ugly little snippets of memories. I can see how, if you weren't allowed to lock doors and your mother would have your father take a screwdriver to any you managed to, etc. that that would be a theme in your life so you'd remember this other, first memory too, of the friend's father beating on the door and yelling and perhaps getting it open. That would be extremely scary! You don't know what's going to happen but it's the sort of memory that makes for nightmares!

Kids think and remember things so strangely anyway. I don't like (I'm nearly 60) to be at other people's houses, they can be relatives or friends, doesn't matter, I'm uncomfortable at other people's houses, especially if I'm alone. I finally figured out after a zillion years of therapy it had to do with my stepmother, who married my father a couple weeks after I turned five; she had to take me with her everywhere because I was so young and not in school yet. And, in the beginning, I didn't know anyone, all these people, including "relatives" were new to me. So, when she'd leave me to play with my "cousins" I got to worrying about whether she'd come back and get me! (My mother who was sick all my life and unable to care for me, died when I was 3 and my father had to work, of course, so there was sometimes spotty care for me and my 3 older brothers). All these strange people and not driving yet :-) so didn't know directions to houses, etc. so I would never really know where I was so even though I was totally safe (was never abused or mistreated by relatives!) it was very scary for me and I never really understood it until recently. As a teenager I never really babysat and the couple of times I did, I was always miserable at the other person's house. I even have trouble now, going to babysit my grandchildren! I just feel like I don't belong in other people's houses.

[AShadow721]

I googled when Jurassic Park came out. It came out in theaters in 1993. So it probably came out on video in 1994. That year I turned 8. I think I'm getting somewhere. I'm going to talk to my mom about it once I get ahold of her. Maybe she can help me remember so other things, at least about the way I reacted afterward.

Perna, yes it is very hard for children to go to other people's houses. It's unformiliar and that can be scary for kids. I don't mind going to other people's houses now, unless...when I was pregnant and I lived with my father, I was scared when he took me to his friend's house. But other people's house are different and they sometimes make me feel ackward. Mostly when I'm with someone I know and they take me to someone else's house whom I don't know.

Yes these kind of memories do make nightmares and I do have themes in nightmares of trying to get away, but being chased down, so you are absolutely right.

[AShadow721]

I did my math wrong I turned 7 in 1994. But anyway. I'm not getting much farther with this yet. I'm getting impatient. Didn't talk to my mom yet. But I told my husband about it. He's really supportive and understanding.