[QUEEN OF WANDS]

i have had ptsd for a long time but never knew what it was,,now after experiencing a traumatic event recently and being diagnosed by a psychiatrist ,i know what has been wrong with me..traumatic experiences as a child always flooded my mind but now it just of this past event..i thought i was overcoming it (if that is possible?)..for 8 days i did not feel the burning around my neck,i did not really think of the event too often,but after seeing my assaulter on thursday the memories have been getting more intrusive.the hurt is deep in my heart.today the burning came back..i was told to accept it,realize why it is there, and know that eventually it will go away,,idk what triggered the burning,i never know what triggers it,,but im tired of it..how is someone suppose to move forward in life

[salukigirl]

I never knew I had PTSD either until I talked to a T. I had these unreasonable fears. I couldn't take the trash out because I was convinced someone was waiting in the dumpster and going to attack me. I would check the backseats of my car expecting someone to be there, even though my car had been locked all day. I couldn't do anything. I was literally paralyzed by fear. I would just lay in bed with all the lights on, all my windows and doors locked, and couldn't fall asleep in my own bed without my tv on or crying myself to sleep. Silence just drove me nuts because I would start thinking about someone breaking into my house.

Mine was from an abusive relationship I had been in. I went to a T and explained my thoughts and he said it's called hypervigilance.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypervigilance

I suggest you read this. The only way for me to stop these thoughts was months of therapy. He made me say my thoughts out loud. Then, after I was done literally saying "someone is waiting to attack me in the dumpster" he would ask me "how silly does that sound?" and I kinda realized....wow....I'm freaking out over something that will never happen.

So he told me to never give in to my compulsions of checking the backseats or the dumpster. He told me "every time you want to check the rear view for someone in the backseat....don't". I had to say out loud to myself "there is no one in your car" over and over and force myself to just do normal things even though my heart was pounding.

After a couple years of this I eventually realized...I have been living normally....and no one has attacked me.

I don't really know what else to say. It's terrible that anyone has to live with these feelings. Just know that you're not alone. Everyone is here to support you and be there for you. Sometimes those thoughts creep up on me too and I have to go through the same thing...repeat those sayings to myself....and take 10 deep breaths.....