[Irine]

I feel as thought ~everyone~ is out there to tell me how:

• better they are than me
  how i lack life experience
  what a failure i am
  that i make things up and live in a fantasy
  that...i don`t know

~sighs~ what i am saying here is that it is critical in PTSD when you do not remember abuse and other traumatic events very well. hardly. and then they come up after years. and then you discover what a true mess your life is.

So you need to deal with past + to function in daily routine. work, pay bills, buy food,cook, clean, develop spiritually and otherwise.

I am very tired because i feel very guilty for BELIEVING MYSELF - the self that remembers trauma. I feel like no one would ever believe me and every one who gives me advice just places themselves above me

I just have been with too many people who were in love with their advice more than loving to truly help. i feel as though i do not have the right to investigate. in my past and to heal and do it very secretly. i want to tell my therapist parts of things - and i feel so bad for having feelings for him and all that

I AM REALLY TIRED OF THE GUILT.

[Hunny]

Ladymacabethadmunsen, safe

Feeling judged and feeling guilt and feeling shame...knowing and not knowing how to do things from wherever you came from. Having people just throw words, words, words, blah.

Lady, it is important to be believed, not just some kind of lip service.

It is important to have relationship, give and take, learning to live and even love (something I am working on). What wisdom you espouse when you say: "I just have been with too many people who were in love with their advice more than loving to truly help". Truer words were never spoken/written.

Keeping seeking that real help and real relationships, taking very good care of yourself and all that you had to do to live. Thank you that you are still alive and here.

Originally Posted by ladymacabethadmunsen

I feel as thought ~everyone~ is out there to tell me how:

• better they are than me
  how i lack life experience
  what a failure i am
  that i make things up and live in a fantasy
  that...i don`t know

~sighs~ what i am saying here is that it is critical in PTSD when you do not remember abuse and other traumatic events very well. hardly. and then they come up after years. and then you discover what a true mess your life is.

So you need to deal with past + to function in daily routine. work, pay bills, buy food,cook, clean, develop spiritually and otherwise.

I am very tired because i feel very guilty for BELIEVING MYSELF - the self that remembers trauma. I feel like no one would ever believe me and every one who gives me advice just places themselves above me

I just have been with too many people who were in love with their advice more than loving to truly help. i feel as though i do not have the right to investigate. in my past and to heal and do it very secretly. i want to tell my therapist parts of things - and i feel so bad for having feelings for him and all that

I AM REALLY TIRED OF THE GUILT.

[Irine]

Hunny i just LOVE YOU