[Penny T. StDuhnam]

I'm getting RXs at the Walmart drive thru and my estranged family is behind me. I'm on the verge of hyperventilating and my chest is chrushing in and I'm there.

Ok (time lapse), I'm behind the Walmart. I'm shaking. I'm going to compose myself and get home.

[Open Eyes]

((((((Penny T)))))))

Oh I am so sorry, I totally understand that feeling, you didn't expect that. Ok, are you calmer now? I know that it is hard but you have to remember this feeling will pass and you will get through it. I hope your calmer now, try not to keep reliving it, I am very sorry. I wish I had been here to see it right away for you. But it was good you came and let it out, writing it out is good, it is always good to get it out.

Big hugs
Open Eyes

[likewater]

((((Pennyt)))) glad you are ok. Too bad your estranged family can't relocate to say the planet jupiter.

[Penny T. StDuhnam]

Open eyes, your understanding is comfort alone. Thank you. I do apologize for having a self absorbed moment).

Imagine standing and the bottom of Hoover Dam, ya know, just in front of monstrous force! Many currents, each with a unique punch! Two of them each with weightled responsibility!

(I think I should mention i had recently, February, faced some issues head on. I demanded acknowledgement of accountability. "policy" dictated we just pretend I didn't just say that, under the rug. Queue fantasy island, "smiles! Everyone, smiles!"

Deer in the head lights. Awe, so much. Too much!

I'm surprised I had such a reaction. I saw many things. They kept coming.

(i hope what and how I've posted this is ok.).

[Open Eyes]

((((PennyT)))),
You did fine, anyone who experiences PTSD understands that overwhelming reaction that can be scary. Yes reactions can present themselves in strong surprising ways. I am sorry you had that bad experience, it can be very lonely when that happens. Just know that you did recover and can recover, that is a start. It is ok to come here in a panick, people here understand what it means and how it is nice to have someone there to just say, I hear you, it will pass, try to do your best to relax, it is very easy to feed into it when it comes because it is scary. I hope you are seeing a good therapist that you can talk to, that is very important when you have PTSD, you truely cant do it alone you have to learn about it and disarm those many things that you saw.

Welcome to PC, there are very nice supportive people here that are very understanding.

I hope you have calmed down and can get a restful night.

Open Eyes

[Penny T. StDuhnam]

Not asleep yet.

[Singularis]

I'm sorry to hear about your situation.. I have similar reactions around certain people I don't know.. and its unbereble.. I'm currently seeking a therapist but in the meantime I'm taking adivan I didn't use when I initially thought I'd be fine without it.. which wasn't true. For some reason I'm still up and want to sleep... hopefully my memories won't haunt me tonight and I can get some sleep in while I can.

[likewater]

Im awake too. Oh the joy of ptsd. Had zanax but didnt refill it bc was afraid its addictive. Sometimes didnt work anyway. The other
night took 3 muscle relaxants. That worked but dont think you are supposed to do that.

[likewater]

If we werent tired or freaked out, we could use this time to write novels or learn a language. Instead my mind feels likes scrambled
eggs .

[33yankee33]

Hi Penney. I can empathize with how much that experiece upset you. I am lucky in that I won't ever have to deal with what you did. My primary abuser is in jail for murder with no chance of getting out. I have felt similar feelings during flashbacks and dreams.

[Penny T. StDuhnam]

33yankee33, wow! I'm trying to wrap my brain around that! Thank goodness your here to talk about it.

(((((hugz))))))

That's the first time I've seen them out and about in three years.