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Wise Elder
Rhapsody
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Member Since: Jan 2006
Location: Florida
Posts: 9,946
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#1
I have been going through a lot of memories (flash backs) from my past both with in my waking hours and in my sleep, they are the ones having to do with my sexual abuse and with broken trust of a loved one, and while I can see this as a healing opportunity happening - it still seems to knock me down and for a loop as I try to gather my wits about me and function with in my day to day activities.... I feel drained and lost again.
Any ideals to help me out with this process? THX. LoVe, Rhapsody - |
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Anonymous29319
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#2
If possible drawing and writing helps me. Music, a bath, repeating over and over that its not happening now that what I am seeing has already happened and is past, locating the trigger (what in my present life is making me think about what happened) and taking care of that trigger also helps me.
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Wise Elder
Rhapsody
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Member Since: Jan 2006
Location: Florida
Posts: 9,946
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#3
Thanks for the reply.... I will look into what you have said, but getting rid of the trigger will be a harder thing to do - for my present trigger is an immediate family member, I see them every day.
My main problem with my flash backs is not in knowing that it is not happening now, for I know that and can deal with it well, the problem is the feelings that come to stay after I have had a mental flash back - I cannot seem to rid my present mind of the anger, hate and resentment surrounding the events, not to mention my unforgiving heart of a certain person. BIG SIGH.... LoVe, Rhapsody - |
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Anonymous29319
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#4
Ok taking care of the trigger doesn't mean getting rid of it. it means noticing when you are triggered, finding what it is that is triggering you and then putting coping tools in place so that the trigger no longer bothers you for example.
I was raped by a family member. There was no getting around having contact with him at family gathering. Everytime I saw him I flashed back to the day he got me and so on. Not only that this family member had very dominent gene traits so that no matter what relative I was around from his side of the family I went through panics and flashbacks. At first I didn't see the connection but then I started paying attention to how I was feeling. I noticed that it was one specific gene trait I was keying into to -the eyebrows. Once I made that connection Whenever I started felling uncomfortable I used the coping skill of self talk - I told myself ok take a breath, it is just an eyebrow, every human being has eyebrows, now look at the rest of this person, his hair is different, his face is not my abuser, the clothes are different. now you can sit here and keep being afraid or you can get up and go to the bathroom. Then I got up and went into the bathroom where I let the water get real cold and washed my face making sure I could feel the water. I also did this when in contact with the abuser. I learned to recognize when I was uncomfortable and would find a reason to walk away from him. As I got stronger at walking away from him I learned to start coming up with reasons why I couldn't attend that family gathering or go to touch base with some and then leave before it got too uncomfortable. This way wasn't getting rid of the people that were triggering me but it was taking care of myself so that I wasn't getting triggered at least so often. |
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Legendary Wise Elder
(JD)
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Member Since: Dec 2003
Location: Coram Deo
Posts: 35,474
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#5
I'm sorry to hear you are going through this... that you realize you are having flashbacks is actually farther along the path than not even realizing you had one and had responded IRL... it doesn't make them feel any better, though.
At the top of one of the forums (not sure if it's this one, psychotherapy or depression?) But at the top of one is a sticky post of GROUNDING TECHNIQUES.. these will help you realize you are in the present and not inthe past where the flashback is taking you. Hang in there, there's more to say, I'm just not feeling well right now. ((((safe hugs))))) __________________ |
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Wise Elder
Rhapsody
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Member Since: Jan 2006
Location: Florida
Posts: 9,946
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#6
Thanks (to all).... I am trying to work on controlling my reactions a little better and yet it is hard at times, for it hits me before I even realize that I have gone unconscious to the present or to what my real reality is.
My triggers are my dear husband and/ or young sexy females..... so one can see how and why it is hard for me - I love and live with him and they (the images) are every where any one goes, even with in the house though the good old TV. I will check the forum out for the GROUNDING TECHNIQUES..... LoVe, Rhapsody - |
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Magnate
Lexicon78
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Member Since: Mar 2004
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 2,944
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#7
In your waking hours, try to tell yourself that it is not happening now. And then follow it up with any number of distracting, relaxation, and grounding techniques. Those usually help.
Hang in there. __________________ "When they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be disappointed to discover they are not it." -Bernard Bailey |
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Junior Member
iflyaway
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Member Since: Mar 2006
Posts: 12
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#8
i don't normally suggest this but if the flashes continue like mine have been almost constant for 2 months meds may be an option to look into just so u can truly rest. a grounding technique my therapist gave me were these 2 chinese balls that come in 2's and depending on the tone they ring i click them together or let them weigh down in my hand so i realize i'm in the here and now. hope it helps i'm so sorry
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Veteran Member
heartspace
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Member Since: Jan 2006
Posts: 351
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#9
Safe and gentle hugs if ok Rhapsody {{{Rhapsody}}}
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