sometimes, (apathy) takes over my soul. ( A NEGATIVE symptom of schizophrenia.) i try really hard not to let the negative feelings, thoughts and emotions get the best of me. but, today, my ptsd symptoms became active again. so, i made the decision to drink and drink heavily. i feel like giving up somtime. i am trapped in my body due to forced psychiatric medications. i wish sometime i could just go for a few biofeedback sessions or something that did not harm my body and nervous system. i will rest tonight and take on the new day tommorrow with a renewed hope. i don't believe in psychaitric medications.

[Open Eyes]

I am sorry you had a bad day, just remember that alcohol IS a drug that also effects the brain and actually is NOT good for PTSD, and can change the effectiveness of medications.

((((Hugs))))
Open Eyes

[LadyShadow]

I agree with OpenEyes, it is a Drug and a depressant and it usually makes you feel worse rather than better after the high is gone. But hang in there and keep posting ((hugs))

better day today, no alcohol. used all the tricks to recover or fool myself that i am do not have a problem. fear of going out is a factor. (agoraphobia)
i usually stay at the apt. much of the time, so this i believe is contributing to the problem of my alchohol abuse. nothing hard though, i can have a bottle of wine in the house and some whiskey and never touch it. the beer, i have come to like so much , it is hard to give up. But, thanks ... i will probably do what ever it takes now to no longer engage in "self-harm" thanks again. i had a better day today.

[Open Eyes]

((((guru2013)))),

I am glad to hear you had a better day. I know when the bad days come it can be tempting to reach for alcohol to help yourself cope. I am not much of a drinker, but I would have a couple of glasses of wine at night in the beginning to try to calm myself too. But it didn't fix my problem, therapy is what helped me best. Working through it and talking and talking helped me more. But I didn't just get better, however, in time and making sure I had a safe environment is what helped me the most.

Keep talking and reaching out. Let us know how you are doing, we can listen anytime.
(((Hugs)))
Open Eyes

[Spiderlegs]

Originally Posted by guru2013

sometimes, (apathy) takes over my soul. ( A NEGATIVE symptom of schizophrenia.) i try really hard not to let the negative feelings, thoughts and emotions get the best of me. but, today, my ptsd symptoms became active again. so, i made the decision to drink and drink heavily. i feel like giving up somtime. i am trapped in my body due to forced psychiatric medications. i wish sometime i could just go for a few biofeedback sessions or something that did not harm my body and nervous system. i will rest tonight and take on the new day tommorrow with a renewed hope. i don't believe in psychaitric medications.

We are all told not to 'numb' the feelings with alcohol, etc....no 'self medicating'. Okay, I understand that. What I don't understand is the 'Dr. meds'.....isn't that for the sole purpose of numbing reality??? I just don't see where one is much worse than the other and don't see the value of psychiatric meds either. Every 'anti depressant' the doctors gave me just made me physically and mentally worse.

[Hellion]

Originally Posted by Spiderlegs

We are all told not to 'numb' the feelings with alcohol, etc....no 'self medicating'. Okay, I understand that. What I don't understand is the 'Dr. meds'.....isn't that for the sole purpose of numbing reality??? I just don't see where one is much worse than the other and don't see the value of psychiatric meds either. Every 'anti depressant' the doctors gave me just made me physically and mentally worse.

The hard thing for me is, it seems the only alternative when I do resort to self medicating is to be in unbearable pain/misery or finding a more permanent way of relief like suicide. and to me the rational choice seems to be go for the relief that does not involve suicide. I realize that is not a cure or anything but sometimes I need some sort of relief otherwise its simply too much for me to deal with.

Therapy and such might be helpful for healing and actually improving on issues...but most people cannot very well attend therapy for 24/7 my sessions were an hour and the pain still exists even if I'm in therapy. one hour of relief a week simply wouldn't do.

When I tried a prescribed anti-depressant(prozac) it did make things worse so I threw the rest out as I did not need to deal with psychotic symptoms brought on by anti-depressants.

[zbmom]

My pdoc actually prescribed me a really low dose of klonopin to help with the physiological symptoms of the PTSD. I was drinking to deal with it, probably too often, and using other unhealthy means. The klonopin doesn't help with the memories but it takes the racing heartbeat, panic feeling and all that way down to a manageable level for me. Don't know if it's a good option for you but I'm doing well on .5mg up to 2x daily as needed. I take it maybe 3x a week.

Originally Posted by zbmom

My pdoc actually prescribed me a really low dose of klonopin to help with the physiological symptoms of the PTSD. I was drinking to deal with it, probably too often, and using other unhealthy means. The klonopin doesn't help with the memories but it takes the racing heartbeat, panic feeling and all that way down to a manageable level for me. Don't know if it's a good option for you but I'm doing well on .5mg up to 2x daily as needed. I take it maybe 3x a week.

i am glad it works for you. my experience however has been very negative with adverse side-effects. i try and exercise on a treadmill each day for just a little while, and this seems to help me. Also, i will listen to music and visit with family. But, for the most part, there are tremors i suffer from each and every day. the ptsd seems to be embedded in my nervous system now. i also believe in getting a good nights rest as rest is critical for the body to renew itself. good luck with your therapy and recovery process. For myself, i am a believer in holistic treatment only.