[BioHazard]

I am a 52 year old female who was sexually abused from birth until I was 15. At that time my parents divorced and I was so happy. But tby the time I was 18 and coming into my Bi-Polar, Borderline Personality Panic attacks , I knew I needed counseling. Six years later I marrie, but if I went to bed first and fell asleep, I would sit up screaming when he entered the room.
Or if I saw a mans hands or eyes that resembled my fathers, I would freak out.
I once was watching a movie on tv entitled WHERE ARE THE CHILDREN. It was about an older man molesting small children. And when I saw a scene that was just like what happened to me, I ran ,without knowing it. to jump out the hotel window pane. My husband caught me before I hit the glass.
In High School several times I was accused of doing something that I didn t do. To this day that causes nightmares and hysteria.

So PTSD is not only for Veterans. They don t hold the patent on trauma. WHile I feel sad for what they went through, I hope they all get the help they need. But I know reaching out for help for something ones feels ashamed of can be almost impossible. Worst yet, is getting a burned out or incompetent therapist!

[Open Eyes]

(((BioHazard))),

I see you are a faily new member here a PC, welcome. I am so sorry you had such a difficult childhood and are now experiencing PTSD. I know it is a real challenge and you are right, it is not only our War Vets that get PTSD, it is others who experience trama or tramas as well.

It sounds like you had a therapist that didn't help you, sorry to hear that, I had some troubling experiences myself. They are just people and not all therapists are good therapists. I hope that you have found a good one that can help you work through your troubled past.

You are welcome to share here, we have good listeners.

(((Hugs)))
Open Eyes

[BrokenNBeautiful]

Welcome to PC.

I too have PTSD. I was abused as a child, too, s*x*ally and verbally.

My abuser passed away in 2008 and I am going thru a very complicated grieving process now, without professional help. Because of money, defunct low-income counseling/psychiatric centers because of cutbacks, and also discrimination against me because of bpd diagnosis in 2010, I can't see a therapist or even a psychiatrist; they have me on their database as "untreatable".

But I know I have PTSD and it is a struggle. Dealing with bad mental health makes it much worse. I have been studying my issues hard and coming on here every day to give and get support. It's been very healing. Also I have a very caring friend who understands PTSD. No, it's not just for veterans.

Welcome again,

Carol

[Gotami]

Originally Posted by BioHazard

I am a 52 year old female who was sexually abused from birth until I was 15. At that time my parents divorced and I was so happy. But tby the time I was 18 and coming into my Bi-Polar, Borderline Personality Panic attacks , I knew I needed counseling. Six years later I marrie, but if I went to bed first and fell asleep, I would sit up screaming when he entered the room.
Or if I saw a mans hands or eyes that resembled my fathers, I would freak out.
I once was watching a movie on tv entitled WHERE ARE THE CHILDREN. It was about an older man molesting small children. And when I saw a scene that was just like what happened to me, I ran ,without knowing it. to jump out the hotel window pane. My husband caught me before I hit the glass.
In High School several times I was accused of doing something that I didn t do. To this day that causes nightmares and hysteria.

So PTSD is not only for Veterans. They don t hold the patent on trauma. WHile I feel sad for what they went through, I hope they all get the help they need. But I know reaching out for help for something ones feels ashamed of can be almost impossible. Worst yet, is getting a burned out or incompetent therapist!

Hello BioHazard... thank you for posting your comment... I grewup in Poland (Europe) and remember the day when Gemans entered Poland and the WWII started. The following 5-6 years were a naightmare. Now, at the age 76 when I look back my whole life have been shaped by the experience. Had to place the event(s) in a bigger context (history, and human sciences to come to terms with what happenned, My personal patterns of functioning continue to challenge me, but still learning new tools and how to use them. One thing I know is there are ways to heal... Unfortunately, like you noticed, PTSD is seen mostly in the context of war veterans' issues, and extremely few general mental health practitioners have any understanding of the . Most of them are trained in working with survivers of sexual abuse, but skills in this area also seem to be limited. Many symptoms of PTSD are very common regardless of the cause,yet I do agree with you it is hard to find (or effort) a competent therapist. Do not give up... keep looking - there are sources of help - just keep looking, learning about it...

[newhope]

hi i am really new to this like yesterday im not sure if i have ptsd but i think i might i freak out in public if i see someone fighting brings back old memories i guess i think thats why i dont like to go out much in public can anyone help me understand if this is one of my problems thanks

[Gotami]

Originally Posted by newhope

hi i am really new to this like yesterday im not sure if i have ptsd but i think i might i freak out in public if i see someone fighting brings back old memories i guess i think thats why i dont like to go out much in public can anyone help me understand if this is one of my problems thanks

Hello newhope... what you describing is one of the "symptoms" or effects of old trauma. Something in an environment triggers the memory in your brain, and it often feel like you were there again, seeing it or experiencing it again. It is called a "flashback".
It would be helpful if you could work with a skillful therapist. If you can not, train yourself in remembering - imagining the event while trying to relax and keeping your attention on breathing. When it gets easier, try to see similar scenerio in real world (or on movie first), and keep your attention on breathing and relaxing while observing what is going on. This is extremely simplistic way to deal with different things that trigger old memories, but sometime it helps. I do not know what else might be adding to your discomfort, but relaxing and keeping your attention on your breathing might help.
Goodluck...

[volatile]

I know I have ptsd and it's from very violent and life threatening situations. I'm not a combat vet but I've been through a lot. just to get an idea: I've had guns pointed at my face, knives to my throat, I'm been strangled several times. I've been kidnapped. I put my life on the line to save my best friend. I almost f-ing died. But I can't have ptsd or even have been traumatized because I wasn't holding a rifle or wearing a uniform.
It's like these people live in a fairy-tale land and all these horrible things don't belong here, it's somewhere else. I am still shocked with the things that have happened and just gone on like it was nothing. Like it was normal for people to be raped and assaulted. People don't want their happy little bubbles to burst and I see that with a lot of therapists and doctors. They REALLY do not understand how serious LIFE is.
I was literally told by my last therapist that "Only vets get ptsd". I swear this woman was beyond sheltered.
Luckily nowadays I only have two serious triggers and the rest are just little things, like not being able to sleep well, strong startle response, anger. Oh and I'm pretty sure I've developed agoraphobia.
needless to say, I can't take therapists or doctors seriously. It's all subjective and none of them have any right to tell me what I am experiencing. which is yet another thing, they like to pretend to know everything so even though they are there FOR ME they demean my intelligence and understanding of my own psyche and refuse to give me meds that I know I could utilize. It's all a joke really and feeling like I am actually more informed than them just makes it even worse.
i'm sorry this kind of became my own rant.. The whole system is ********e.

[fantasea17]

I think volatile has a point about the psychiatrist system of heirarchy is messed up. But from your post, I can tell that what you've been through ain't no picnic.

I happily and thankfully can say that I have never been through a traumatic situation, but I'm also wonderng at the same time, isn't there something that can help anchor you down and stabilize your "self" (the only word I can come up with is "razana" which is arabic for "stable, steady, heavy-weighted steadfastness")?

having been through depression, I know that there is a way out without meds. don't you think it can be the same for ptsd?

just rambling