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#1
Dec 06, 2012, 10:48 PM
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Two months ago, I tried to kill myself. The guy who had just dumped me couldn't leave well enough alone. He yelled at me everyday for no reason and belittled me whenever he had the chance. He also would yell at me for not being okay with him dating other women. He kept pushing until I snapped. While he tried to help me, he also made me promise I didn't tell anybody about this. I don't want people to think I'm unstable, but at the same time, I'm convinced he only said that because he doesn't want his reputation with the ladies to be ruined.
Like I said, this was two months ago. I've been in Crisis, been put on medication, and moved back home since then. I was originally diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder, but when the medication wasn't working and after I told the doctor my symptoms, I was re-diagnosed with Bipolar. Everyone keeps telling me that I should be better by now and ready to go back to school, but I don't feel like I am. I'm commuting everyday to class because I really do not want to move back there. Every time I'm on campus, I need to do breathing exercises to make use I don't have a panic attack during class. I'm always paranoid on campus. I can't be on campus without a hooded jacket and sunglasses because I'm afraid people will see me and make me stay. I'm afraid he'll see me. Him or his new girlfriend. Everybody wants me to come back, but I can't do it. Even though he hurt me, I still love him. But I can't be around him. Just the thought of being around him makes me lose breath. When I'm on campus, all the terrible memories of what happened flash before my eyes. Even at home, I can't get these memories out of my head. I'm afraid to start dating again because I think the same thing will happen again. My family wants me to move back on campus, but I just know the same thing will happen again if I do. What should I do? And should I be screened for possible PTSD? |
 kindachaotic, Open Eyes
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#2
Dec 06, 2012, 11:15 PM
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Oh honey I am so sorry you have been hurt so much. Yes, you can get screened for PTSD. None of us can diagnose you, but there is nothing wrong with getting help for this.
((Hugs))) Open Eyes |
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