[Evangelista]

***Please very intense stuff***take care in reading

Talked to my T today in session about the Mur*er in my past as a Teen..right now we have several serial killers in our area and the news is saturated with it...police..trying so hard..but it is aggravating the PTSD symptoms..I am getting shakey when police drive by and whincing at things that remind of the past event..things that just happen to be in my enviroment..and normally would not set me off..but right now its like huge problem..T didnt know I was having these issues because well..I deal with it..I have my plastic bag in case I need to up chuck..and when the flashbacks get to strong..thats the problem I need to talk about it..because I feel that a part of me is left there in that room with the victim..just staring..not breathing..until the policeman took me out of the room..
and I dont know how to unstick it..how not to feel lost and panicky right now when I see so many patrol cars canvasing the areas, and the news reports..I think of her (Victim)..and her staring right at me..horror..we have been working on the dissociation disorder..so hard..so havent told how bad its been getting until today..now we are changing direction a little to focus on this..and ..just trying to remember to breathe...but I am reliving it..and I just need some help with it..dont know what to do to cope..

((((( Evangelista )))))

I can offer my support, I can offer a my hugs, I can tell you all the things that we learn on self-care and grounding. But when I'm "in it" I'm in it and nothing I do can get me out until the situation that triggered it, settles down.

But what I can do afterwards is apply all the self-care and grounding techniques that I've learned. The ride through hell remains the same, but the bounce back gets better with time.

I know the advice is always, "It's not happening now" but you know what? I find for me it IS happening now in a sense.

I'm here. I care.

[Evangelista]

((Petunia)) real hard...to..cope..thank you though for understanding and being here..

[wanttoheal]

(((((((((((Evangelista)))))))))))

[Evangelista]

((Wantto)) thank you,,,I am torn..the layering of what to do..what is now and then..mixed up..maybe should away for a little while at least for the night..do some driving..clear my head..so take care...

[wanttoheal]

I'm so sorry Evangelista, I wish I had the words to say to make it all better. Hope the drive helps. Know we care.

[PasDeDeux]

It sounds so hard and horrible what you went through and are again going through all over again. Maybe a trip would help some. I do not know what to say to help you but wanted to let you know I feel your fear in this thread and am so sorry for what you have been through and feel now I tend to think it is normal to feel the way you do right now and would talk that trip over with your T
Hugs

[(JD)]

(((safe hugs))) I think you are doing good things to cope... you are breathing... very important to focus on your breath... and orienting yourself to the here and now... yes, it is similar, but what happened before isn't happening right now...

you are probably safer right now because you are so vigilant (yey ptsd boo pstd).... you will notice automatically things that are not quite right... and you won't be found in that position again probably because of your intense observation.... you are safer because of this...

I'm sorry for your triggering... and hope the police catch the criminals soon.

(((((((((((((Scully))))))))))))))

I saw on the news this morning that there's been a major break in the case?

I am hoping this all ends for you soon.

[Evangelista]

just rough..working emdr hope it helps..hope they caught them/him..being quiet for awhile as insides settle..thanx Petunia, wantto, everyone..thoughts deep for families suffering thru m*rders..to many why's..brutal, senseless..mmm..head hurts.. thanks for caring..