[(JD)]

ok I need to know how yall post such long notes... mine prevent me from doing so... which is why I did the continued stuff.. Anyway... I deal with pain 24/7, both peripheral and central nervous system (cns) pain. My muscles spasm and pull bones out of joint... and often contracture. I still have to go to physical therapy 3x week... I could use more but for what reason? I also see a pain/stress management psychologist specialist to help... and again, I'm tired of trying. Surely 17 years is long enough and no one can say I haven't hung in there and tried! I am still being followed by the ins co/attorney's guy and my phone is often tapped. (they probably see this too)... I've not had a hearing this whole time, yet state law says within 6 MONTHS of p-t disability, you can begin having hearings... one is again scheduled for next month... but my attorney has cancelled all the MEDICAL depositions... when I argued, she agreed to some of them, but won't be able to get them till AFTER the hearing...!!! I never know who's side she's on... and my pleas to know when the opposition has followed me (say end of month report?) go unheard... legal stalking... so I never know if it's them or some other pervert. HEY I Figured out how to write a longer post! I have had a request for a new service dog, since mine is now 12 years old and half blind/half deaf. Been waiting over a year... and looking to buy a motorized wheelchair since I can't get around any Large area without too much pain and fatigued. My psychologist says, due to the ptsd I think, I have begun to display Stockholm syndrome symptoms... I can understand that since the ins co runs my life. In times passed I have tried at the urging of my doctors to try this or try that... they never work out but the ins co has my attempts on video and use them to prove to my attorney that I'm not disabled... HUH? well they don't have anything because there's nothing to get... me riding a riding lawn mower makes them say I can work... even tho I ran it into a tree... and can't shift it anymore... and they know I have to drive myself to the doctors, so they say because I can drive, I don't need nail care... like they are the same muscles? and my vision is affected ..and just what position am I supposed to be in to do a pedicure? All my problems are documented... doctors, MRIs etc.. yet the state allows the insurance co to harrass me. All of life is a struggle. I just know that I have to have my exit planned perfectly, because it will be just me dealing with a botch, and maybe into such a fix that I will be unable to try again. In fact, I am reaching that poin already and that scares me.. that I will be required to continue just because others think I should. Ok. That's more than enough. Maybe we have time to chat and you won't think too poorly of me.

[Peanut61]

Tis me, again, Sky. I hope to chat with you again soon. I am including you in my prayers (since we chatted). Warmest regards, Peanut

PS. If you break up the sentences, they are easier for folks to read. I was asked to do this, and I get more responses that way = lol . Plus tis easier on the ol' peepers - lol

<font color=blue>HI FROM PEANUT</font color=blue>

[lost_as_always]

well i dont think poor of you ..while you humors is a little dark it is sharp and good to be round for me, and thanks for chatting up with me, it was almost a real conversation. oh dont forget like a fish.

when my ship ran out of fuel i burned the things that made it pretty when i ran out of that i burned the things i loved when i ran out of that i burned willpower to keep me moving. its not a pretty ship but it still moves.