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Member Since Jun 2013
Posts: 36
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#1
I'm not exactly sure where to put this. I was going through a rough time today, and I was SI (something I am working on). Then out of nowhere, I was just transported to this other place. I have no idea how to describe this, but it was dark all around me (I think I had my eyes closed) and even though it was in the afternoon, it was completely dark around me. I saw flashes of things, I don't know if I couldn't identify it or if I don't remember what they were. I think there were some people too. I was frantic and didn't know where I was or what was going on. It was really, really strange and I don't know how to describe it. It felt like my body was jerking and it was out of my control, especially my head. And I heard the strangest sound in my head, it was either of a door creaking really really loudly or of a bed spring. But I was alone at home, and there were no other sound. I felt like I was just in another state of consciousness. It only lasted for a minute, as soon as I realized where I was. And I was still sitting in the same position as before.
I googled it but couldn't find anything. I don't suffer from epilepsy or anything else like that. I don't have any memory of abuse, but I have an idea that it might have happened and I just can't remember. My best guess is that it was a flashback. I sometimes have them but only emotionally. Coming out of that I didn't feel any emotion, expect maybe fear. Any help would be appreciated? |
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Mar 2011
Location: Northeast USA
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#2
Hi Lily, sorry I didn't see this thread yesterday.
Well, what you experienced "could be" a flashback. When I experience them myself I am "frightened" in everyone of them and I get flashes and it is as though I am actually "there" for however long the flashback takes place. It is not the same as a dream or that I am "seeing myself" either, the flashes are of something that is happening and as I mentioned I am "frightened" in someway. However, after I come out of the flashback I am aware that it is "something" I had experienced in my past and most of my flashbacks I have been able to figure out and say to myself, yes that did happen but it is not happening now. It is still disturbing and depending on what the flashback is I do feel disoriented by it. Our brains do remember everything that happens to us, even if we block them out somehow "while they are happening". My T told me that when this happens often the brain only lets out a little bit sometimes so as not to create too much emotion or fear. He told me to be patient with it and remind myself that whatever comes forward is not now and can't really "hurt" me, as I have already "survived whatever it is". I have to say that it is strange and nothing I ever imagined the brain could ever do. My T told me that often a Traumatic experience can get stored in areas of the brain that have no language, just images or sounds of physical sensations. If we are patient we "may" get enough of these flashes where we can remember the trauma and slowly put it into words so we can work on whatever is there and finally "process" it as just a memory that we are finally able to identify and resolve. OE |
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