[always_pushing]

Anyone else get to feeling this way? I am not sure if it's because of the weather, the holidays or everything all together. I just feel empty and overwhelmed. It's so strange.

That's all... just getting it out.

[A Red Panda]

Yep. I get like that sometimes. It's a bit surreal for me. It's usually like I'm empty, but I'm overwhelmed because there's TOO MUCH. I find the contrast of empty/too much to be what makes things feel surreal for me.

[always_pushing]

Okay. It feels surreal for me as well. sigh.

[Lust4Life]

Originally Posted by always_pushing

Anyone else get to feeling this way? I am not sure if it's because of the weather, the holidays or everything all together. I just feel empty and overwhelmed. It's so strange.

That's all... just getting it out.

totally! Today is the worst day yet. I totally feel just blah, I find when I reach out to my in laws and show them love it helps but then again it is hard to get me out of my room.
It is definitely not strange. this time of year holds so many emotions, plus depending where you are the weather doesn't help. These forums should hopefully (fingers crossed) give us a united front. A place we can share and feel, understood. No judgement. Thank you for sharing I totally get it

[Bluenosette]

Yes I feel like that all the time. That's exactly how I feel

[always_pushing]

Talking here does help. Remembering that we are not alone helps.

I am reading this phenomenal book called: the journey from abandonment to healing
By Susan Anderson and it's been so eye opening for me.

My PTSD feels different bc I don't think I was ever out right sexually abused. Perhaps some blurred lines, but nothing I can specifically recall. I was, however as a child, and again as an adult abandoned by my mother.

It's been strange trying to work on and thru the PTSD issues this has caused for me.
I feel like it's all just starting to make sense. I never really allowed myself to think of things the way I am currently. I think I've been too scared to deal w the hurt the loss of my mother has caused me. The fact that she still chooses to not reach out to me or her grandson. I just cannot wrap my mind around that decision.
Perhaps she knows I would not respond to her, but it still kills me knowing that she won't and doesn't even try.
Ugh. So hurt.

Anyhow. I went off on a tangent. Just blah feeling.

[always_pushing]

And I am typing off my cell phone. I only see one line at a time.

I need to state that I didn't finish my thought above. I didn't mean to imply that sexual abuse was the only abuse that causes PTSD.
I just was thinking back over the different types of abuse I felt I might have experienced.
Not sure about sexual abuse. Definitely emotional abuse.

Anyhow. Just clarifying as I've Been accused of having memory lapses and poor grammar on here.

In reality. I'm just a ball of mess, not really paying much attention. To what I'm typing.

Sigh.

[A Red Panda]

Y'know.... emotional abuse tends to be one area where people are really scared about being judged - it's literally just our word. There's no solid "facts" to cling to that can prove it, just words and how we were made to feel. It's hard to remember that it was real, and it's easy to pass off a lot of it with "X didn't mean to do this. They probably didn't know they were wrong. It's my fault and I interpreted it wrong" vs more physical assaults where... at some point in life, you can (hopefully) realize that it was THEIR fault for being physical because that's never appropriate or right. That they did know what they were doing was wrong.

It's hard and complicated.

[bassrunnin]

Originally Posted by A Red Panda

Yep. I get like that sometimes. It's a bit surreal for me. It's usually like I'm empty, but I'm overwhelmed because there's TOO MUCH. I find the contrast of empty/too much to be what makes things feel surreal for me.

I've been feeling that way as well, especially the overwhelmed part. Seems like things are coming at all directions...I guess even in the best of circumstances the holidays bring cold, dark, lots of things to do, only a couple weeks to do them, let's see people we don't necessarily like and pretend like everyone is a big happy family...

I once talked to someone who was in 911 dispatch and they said they get the most 911 calls of the year on Christmas and Thanksgiving...irony right?

[Hellion]

I feel very empty lately, and a bit overwhelmed with the SSI appeal process I have the appeal hearing in feburary so hoping it goes well though apparantly it might take a month or two after that before I find out the decision ..the problem is I know I am really stressed to the point I feel numb and empty and as usual the numb feeling is likely to wear off and turn into severe anxiety and other symptoms. I feel like anything could send me over the edge.....One goal I have is to try and stay out of the psych ward till after this month at least but not sure how things are going to go.

[Hope-Full]

Yes. Very frequently. My PTSD is of the complicated type that causes me a lot of frustration (don't know anyone who doesn't have issues with their PTSD) So frequently my days, though full, feel incredibly empty and isolating. I feel worthless and empty from the moment I arrive home from work until I leave the next morning. It's not fun. And yes, this time of year is the worst for sure.

[Open Eyes]

This time of year with the Holiday is the busiest time of year for therapists. People who struggle with mental illness already tend to feel very disconnected and of course the holiday theme is "to celebrate being connected".

I struggle myself because of how much I struggled and was not treated well for something I could not help nor really understand myself which is developing PTSD from a trauma.

Take things one day at a time and before you know it the stress of this season will pass.

((Hugs)))
OE