[Teacake]

I remember long ago, in my thirties, drinking a pot of coffee a day. More. I lived in a family and the coffee was always on.

I had a bouts of flashbacks. Coffee seemed to calm me. It wasnt a natural or good calm. What coffee was doing was increasing adrenaline until it passed flashback state into dissociation stage. High adrenaline makes flashbacks. Higher adrenaline makes dissociated "calm". Its very unhealthy.

When it comes to drugs we dont instinctively know whats best. I screwed ho my life thinking coffee called me. I was making flashbacks worse. I was making myself dissociative. I was pretty much using coffee to force my body to release opiates, and enjoying the double addiction of caffeine and opiate. A speedball!

No doctor or therapist had sense enough to ask me how much coffee I drank
or tell me how i was causing the hours of flashbacks and dissociation by swilling coffee.

My life is worse for that period of self induced horror.

I didn't know.

Now I know. I want you to know too. At least be curious enough to look it up. I cant get back what ive lost but maybe you dontt have to repeat Ly mistakea.

Doc had me on amphetamine for "adult add" too. Ptsd brains are high dopamine, low serotonin. Doc made ptsd worse. another doc insisted I try xanax for scatteredness. He prescribed amphetamine too. X anax worked better. A platonic friend spent Tena pf yhousands pf dollars on psychiatry, and that single ltidbit of info was worth it. I not dead because of it.