Does talking about your trauma help?

Hey there

I've been reading something in my Psych studies and it's puzzling me! I'd be interested to hear what fellow PTSD sufferers opinions are on the subject....

Before I start just a little of why this is big for me. I also have CFS, which I believe is because I'm useless at expressing emotions - a bottler from a very young age. I believe that when you're a massive bottler there comes a time when your body can't take any more and simply shuts down - CFS in my case. This may be completely wrong - just my current way of thinking.

What I was reading, was that they have done many studies in which they found that the more people talked about their stresses, upsets and sufferings the better their health. They stated that it works in two ways 1) disclosure improves your immune system and, 2) disclosure turns off the red alert system in your body and therefore increases your well being.

This is weird, because I've read elsewhere that for PTSD sufferers talking about what they went through can make it worse. Yet here are these studies showing the opposite????

In a simple non-triggering example they got people with arthritis to speak for 15mins every day into a tape recorder about what was currently upsetting/stressing them. They not only found that their arthritis improved but there was also a direct correlation between how much emotion they expressed and pain reduction.

What are your thoughts on this? Does talking about your trauma improve your physical/mental health over time or do you feel it makes it worse?

Thanks in advance to any of you who respond to my musings

Cheers 101

It depends on the kind of talk.

There is a press to tell trauma just after the fact, or after the initial numbness wears off. Let people tell it. It's how we warn others and elicit care.

There can be a press to speak when a current situation reminds of trauma. Youngest accountant in the firm dates a new guy and starts looking haggard. The old folks start telling their trauma stories. Domestic violence, cocaine...the girls new guy moves in and their bedtime moves up. She begins to glow and the war stories stop. The old folks tell love stories. See how that works?

I've heard many stories told with a special kind of pressure that seem to heal, or at least transform trauma. I heard a friend, in the telling of how soldiers scared her, suddenly see that they were only teenagers, young boys. She was scared by them as a child, and furious. As a mother, she could feel the humanity of your enemies young scared troubled soldiers. She could expand her generous heart to her enemy. I was honored to be there when it happened.

I've also.seen people doggedly reciting their trauma story, thinking it will heal them. It only makes them self absorbed and (shoot me for saying it) boring.

People may need insight if they hold beliefs like "mommy drank because I wasn't a good helper" or "bit it isn't rape if we have a Christian marriage". If its PTSD without cognitive distorrion, there's no real. To make folks tell it.

Yes, talking about it gets it out. Writing is also good, as is crying. When you hold things in, your body finds ways to say that something is wrong, and it could be anything from ulcers to cancer or various somatic disorders, or CFS, or worsening of whatever ailments you might be predisposed to. Expressing it in some kind of conscious way that allows you to feel will help you to heal.

But here's the thing. Being made to talk about it before you are ready is retraumatizing. So can talking about it when it doesn't feel safe. The timing needs to be right for you, and so does the setting, and you need to talk about it to someone you are safe with, who is able to accept your experiences and whatever you feel about it, and not judge you or invalidate you. And you need to feel that you have some control over talking about it and the circumstances under which you talk about it.

The first step in recovering from trauma is establishing safety. That can take some time, and it takes learning skills. It helps to be able to develop a safe place in your mind to which you can retreat if you need to - a visualization or memory that you can connect with that feels safe and non-threatening. And you need to be able to say when you need a break or to stop for a while. You shouldn't be pushed to go faster than you are ready.

After you have that safety, then you can process the trauma. And there are several ways that you can do that. EMDR is a method for processing trauma that doesn't require talking about it much, and it works very well. People are not all the same though, so what works for one person might not work for someone else.

The third step in trauma work is reconnecting. That might also involve talking about what happened a little, as you get back to the business of living your life, but by this time it should be much easier, as you have already processed it so it is more like the rest of your normal memories.

Interesting idea. In my case I really do not relate to it happening to me so when I talk about it, it is more like an abstract or curiosity.

To answer your question I notice no difference either way

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Absolutely, very well said.

I was forced to talk about my traumas long before I was ready. I was shuttled between counselors, having to repeat the story each time, and was interviewed by investigators while video cameras were pointed at me recording everything I said, every move I made, the tapes being scrutinized by who knows who.

After the experience it took me over a decade before I was willing to say anything about the subject at all. Now, I don't know that I would have ever said anything had I not been forced to do so... I tend to think that I would not have. But being made to created it's own issues on top of what I had already been experiencing.

It's like being dragged into the street and stripped in front of people. It wrenches something deep down up to the surface, and once that's done it's near impossible to push it back down. Because it was forcibly displayed to everyone, it feels like it comes to define and dominate you, rather than being a buried part of you that you can try to ignore.

People have to talk about their traumas when they're ready, but only they themselves will know when that is. It may be after a couple days, months, years, or they may never be ready.

I am in therapy, and I've talked about it there. We've moved beyond talking about that. I think a person needs to talk about it until they're done talking about it and then they can move on. I think that's how a person processes it. I've also talked about it in adult child recovery. Talking about at meetings helps the group as we are all there for a common purpose.

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Thanks so much to all of you who have responded to my musings!!

Reading through your replies and the sharing of your own experiences is really helping me gain more insight and clarity.

Cheers 101

I guess it depends on the person,truama and a few other factors.. SOME of my own trauma I can talk about but not all of it becuz I just get mad. you have to be ready to face it becuz if you're not talking about it CAN make it worse.

IMO, yes, as long as it is done in a scenario where the person is safe and gets validated, and is allowed to express the trapped emotions. We are actually designed to seek comfort as well as have a need to talk about things that have threatened us.

Unfortunately, many people are trained to think they should not talk about their problems or challenges. And if someone has been exposed to emotional or physical abuse it is typically engrained into them "not to tell" by the abuser.

IMO, it is important this is done where the person is not in a situation where they face disbelief, or dismissiveness by others. I have experienced that first hand, and it really aggravated the PTSD symptoms in me.

OpenEyes, I found your reply interesting and true.

I never thought about much about the importance of the person in front of you when you talk about past traumas. I pretty much thought it doesn´t matter as long as it gets out.

I´ve written on this forum about my difficulties with really expressing "full emotions" when talking about things and not trying to swallow them down.

I think it might have a connection to my feeling that my therapist does not seem to "have things in her hands". I mean that, having things in her hand, in a positive way. Not as if I don´t want to be in control myself. But I think when you feel that your T knows what she is doing/seems competent and sure of herself etc, it´s easy to "be weak" and let your guards down for some time and cry.
On the opposite, if you feel that you´re more in the know of things than the other person, like when talking to a child, I couldn´t let emotions flow like that. Because I don´t feel "safe" with a child to be "strong" for me or something. I don´t know if that makes sense and got out the way I meant it...

Yes, over the long run it certainly has helped, however, sometimes it's simply too much to take and I have to take a break ...

Hope that made some kind of sense ...

Yes ((Pfrog)), it does make sense. I find that the best case scenario is working at it with someone who understands that too. I have found for myself that when something I didn't realize surfaces, I really have to have time to process it all and let it settle. Depending on what does come forward, I can be exhausted for several days until I begin to feel a release. It really takes time to understand how that process "can" be "healing" as often the process of dealing with something from the past can be exhausting and disorienting.

Each person is different depending on their personal history too. It is such a comfort when another person understands the challenge and is supportive.

Yes, it makes sense. If you have someone that is competent, it is easier
to let things out knowing that as you do that you "can" get emotional. My therapist has helped me get to the point where I can talk and be ok if I get emotional. In fact, what he does is he is so good at it that he knows when
to stop me and have me pay attention to how my emotions slowly calm down
and I have the ability to have more control. He wants me to recognize that
as I allow myself to let these emotions out, I actually get to a point where
I gain from the release.

I think that at least for me, I had to often "hide" my emotional challenges when I was little. I think that when that happens, children don't develop
understanding their emotions as well. Children are designed to react when
something happens that hurts or frightens them and run to their nurturer for comfort. If that presence is not there for them, they end up not processing the emotions correctly. A competent therapist will understand that and will
realize how much a patient will need to finally just be able to release and process what they didn't get the chance to do when they needed to. It doesn't matter whether the patient is male or female either.

It doesn't really seem to.

I've neither felt better or worse talking about these experiences. It seems I sensed that there might be a better way to approach them than continue to talk so much about them, but that's just my experience.

Jade

Seven years of therapy, not all of it talking about trauma, made me much, much worse. I ended up being hospitalized several times. Not focusing on it so much has helped me more than anything. I think everyone is different though and for some people it could be helpful.

The worlds had a hundred years of psychotherapy and gotten worse too.

I found a good therapist five years ago. I found a bunch of bad to useless to barely useful before that. Most were well intentioned. All were really inadequate. Some were dangerous.

Ive got more good out of sitting smoking on a patio at a domestic violence shelter wirh razor fighting women. Intelligent sane women. Who carried razors. What a world They helped me a lot. They also stole my clothes, lol!. But they didnt retraumatise me or do secondary wounding to me. And they didnt bill me doctors rates to act out repressed hatred on me.

[quote=Rapunzel;3633463]
The first step in recovering from trauma is establishing safety. That can take some time, and it takes learning skills. It helps to be able to develop a safe place in your mind to which you can retreat if you need to - a visualization or memory that you can connect with that feels safe and non-threatening. And you need to be able to say when you need a break or to stop for a while. You shouldn't be pushed to go faster than you are ready.
quote]

This really stands out for me at the moment. I am studying, and one of my classes is called "The Self"...we are asked to talk about ourselves in depth, our history, what we value, why we are who we are etc. This is part of a social work degree. I have been struggling, and having intense emotions, and crying unexpectedly. As well as many other unpleasant things.

Reading this helped me to put my finger on why. I have not processed my difficult history or trauma at all and have been working with my T this last year to just get to feeling safe enough with him and in the relationship to maybe begin looking at all of it with him.

Now, in class, I realise I just don't feel safe....I am intensely anxious, feel really fearful and have so many responses to things that I am exhausted after this one particular class especially.

I don't know what to do, I have tried to be vulnerable and open up to 2 closer classmates, but even this makes me feel far too vulnerable. I spoke to the lecturer today to try to explain why it is so hard for me, but I realise I did a terrible job. I just hope I haven't made it worse. I am actually terrified that everything I say will be used against me....I know that sounds paranoid, but in my past if I have shared my past it has been used to harm me later. Ugh I hate how this sounds and that I am not coping as well as I wish I could.

So, to the OP......I do believe that it helps to talk, I believe it certainly will help me when I can. But I definitely agree with Rapunzel that if it is too soon, and in an environment that feels unsafe it is just retraumatising.

There have been many good points made here and I agree with most. What I find helps more than some of the other things mentioned is talking in groups with other trauma victims. Our trauma is different but there is a shared connection-they "get it" where others dont.

I never found it helpful at all. In fact it was like telling someone else" trauma story. And I was never able to tell the whole thing as it made people really upset so I stopped. This included a therapist and a couple of social workers. This biggest trauma event in my life was rather medieval in nature and has no context for others to relate to . And is more like something out of a movie. That said I was able to tell one person the whole event in all of it's vibrant detail. It did not make me feel better, I think I felt nothing. I told my life partner as I thought she should know who she was with.


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((Jane)), I can see how that kind of course would be a challenge considering where you are in your therapy. So you need to step back and consider the reason "why" this course is significant to becoming a "social worker". Ask yourself who would be a better social worker, someone who had all they needed growing up and has no problems, or someone who was challenged and had needs that were not met?

The whole point of "social work" is all about understanding what kind of needs people have and trying to find ways to "improve" whatever conditions are in place that cause harm.

For example Jane, there are a lot of single mothers out in our society right now. You are not alone with the challenges you have, the desire to do right by your son, and to find a way to help yourself be a stronger person and keep working at learning and improving your independence, in spite of your challenges.

Jane, if your desire is to become someone who is involved with social work and being a part of programs designed to "help" people improve their lives. You already have first hand experience where you will "know" what the people who struggle feel. In fact, as you work on understanding yourself better, you will also learn what can be more helpful in helping others who have children "not" to make the mistakes that your mother made.

Jane, the truth is, it doesn't matter what social status someone has, because children can go un-nurtured in all classes. Jane, I have seen it happen, I have seen so many people that have children totally miss what is really important and I have seen the sad outcome. PTSD happens to all classes of people Jane. Family dysfunction happens in all classes of people as well.

So, this course is not meant to "expose you or hurt you or even shame you", it is meant to give you an idea of your own base of understanding from whatever your own history has been because in the end, you will be learning how to apply that to an overall societal challenge. You do not have to consider "your challenges" as something that is preventing you from being a valuable person.

I can see why this particular class can be a bit of a challenge, however, I also think it could actually be a class that will have more meaning to you than you realize if you stick it out. This class can actually be very helpful to your healing too.

What I have realized about my own healing journey, is that when I "am" challenged and work through it, I also am learning and adding to the part of myself that will have more ability to analyze. I can see "my" challenges verses the overall challenges to people in general, I do get triggered, and it "is" a challenge when that happens, however, what I have now, is the ability to be able to process these deep challenges better and when I do that I actually begin to feel better, the triggers get weaker and weaker and I get stronger.

The biggest challenge that PTSD presents is "our own reactions" to different challenges. However, most people have these reactions, the difference with PTSD is that they are magnified and the person struggling gets confused by that and tends to "flight or fight" when they don't have to be that extreme. However, what is confusing is how the reaction takes even the person struggling by surprise and because that happens they become more afraid or confused. What needs to happen is slowly learning that when this does happen, it can finally be worked through and actually finally processed which can take a few days as well as the right support too, and when it is learned that when this takes place the triggers actually get weaker, the person struggling begins to realize it is ok to keep moving forward.

Jane, what you are really doing is slowly working on creating healthier neurological pathways in your brain. You are actually seeing this take place as you watch your own son get better and better at writing, reading and everything he is learning. Eventually, these skills will get so easy for him that he wont even really think about them being a challenge anymore.

When a person grows up in a home where they do not receive the right
nurturing, they have a deficit. However, it is important to finally learn
that it really is not "themselves" that has the deficit, that is something not
there in their nurturer. A big problem in our society, is this happens a lot
in all classes of society, the only way to change that is through educating
parents better. Most teachers will say that while they do their best to
try to educate children in their classrooms, unfortunately, the one thing
that often impedes their success is what a child goes home to.

OE

Did I know about this therapist and those social workers?

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I was mainly reference the lock down ward.... They had never run into this sort if violence which I thought was surprising

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If I just talk about it with no pressure -- then it helps. It has come up spontaneously during a conversation with a close friend. It is detrimental if I am pushed to talk about it and I am a mess, triggered and go into hypervigilance big time in those situations and that goes on for ages -- days and days.

I did have a lot of therapy for my C-PTSD. I did make a lot of progress considering what happened to me, but if I am emotionally abused by anyone -- it is very hard for me and that has never gone away in spite of years of working on it.

EMDR didnt help at all either.

I believe in talking as a way of acknowledging. You need to acknowledge the trauma before you can move forward. Talking can be one way of doing that.